Archive for March, 2011

03-24-11 TNA IMPACT! RANT

March 24, 2011

Strap in for another Thursday night shit-fest.

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Chris Jericho rocks the house on DWTS

March 21, 2011

Chris Jericho teamed with 2-time Dancing With the Stars winner, Cheryl Burke,  and did the Cha Cha Cha to a very limp version of the Clash’s Should I Stay Or Should I Go?.

Jericho was the ninth performer of the episode and he didn’t disappoint. According to judge, Carrie Ann Inaba, Jericho hit all of his points. The other judges said the performance was fun and entertaining, but that he does need some work. Jericho and Burke (TEAM CHERICHO) scored a cumulative score of 19. Carrie Ann gave Team Chericho a score of 7, while the other judges, Len and Bruno, gave them a pair of stingy sixes.

MY TAKE ~ Score: 7
I’ve been a Cheryl Burke mark for a long time so this is definitely an all star tag team in my eyes. This was fun to watch. It wasn’t a Jericho vs. HBK at Wrestlemania 19 type of performance but it was entertaining.

Jericho is certainly not the worst of the bunch but he’s not the best either. He’s very likable and I think he’ll gain a lot more fans from being on this show. However, Ralph Macchio and Kirstie Alley stole the show tonight so Jericho has to improve ten-fold if he’s going to catch those two in this popularity contest. I’m thinking Jericho will last around the 6 or 7th elimination. Radio douche, Wendy Williams, or radio host, Mike Catherwood, are definitely going to be the first one’s to go.

After the jump we’ll see how the rest of the cast did.

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03-21-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

March 21, 2011

The show starts off with Michael Cole coming out dressed as Jim Ross wearing a pillow in his stomach, a neck brace on his leg, holding a BBQ sauce bottle and a mouth full of cotton. Cole talks shit to Lawler before retreating into his glass cage.

Right after that Triple H comes out. He show boats for what seems like 3 months.  He wonders if this is the last time he will be in this building after his match with Taker. He pushes the match and says neither of them will be the same. Triple H then wants Taker to come to RAW next week so he can tell him what’s going to happen at WrestleMania. HHH then says if he doesn’t beat Taker its because he died trying but that Takers record will go to 18-1. He ends with saying the Undertaker will rest in peace.

Ted DiBiase comes out to the stage and wants people to feel sorry for him saying he was at WrestleMania last year but he’s an afterthought this year. He says if he takes out HHH two weeks before WrestleMania, people will notice him. This ends up in a brawl around the ring that HHH wins but fucking up Ted with a steel chair. HHH then completely buries Ted by hitting the pedigree on him through the announce table…. Sigh.

 

United States Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

-what is it about whoever is the US champion doesn’t get a full introduction anymore!?

-Sheamus starts off quickly manhandling Bourne.

-Evan gets in one spin kick and goes for the shooting star press… he misses and gets hit with the bro kick for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

 

Sheamus gets on the mic and says he’s the champion of the United States of America. This brings out Daniel Bryan all serious faced. He wants his rematch at WrestleMania. Sheamus throws the belt at Bryan then bro kicks him while he yells about shamrock shakes at McDonalds… wait what!?

Orton shows up when he’s stopped but that new interviewer guy. Orton is asked about this tour bus he travels on now. He says some shit about traveling with his family, blah blah blah. Can you be any more obvious that Punk is going to do something with this bus?!

 

Maryse vs. Diva’s Champion Eve

-these dumbasses argue and Maryse gets bitch slapped.

-Maryse then gets all pissed and beats on Eve.

-Michael Cole gets on the mic and wants this over. They keep wrestling while Cole keeps yelling about finishing this so he can go on with something else he has for Lawler.

-Eve hits the spinning neck breaker to finish this.

Winner: Eve

 

Eve goes and tries to get in the face of Cole but his security and box keep her out. She finally gets a smack on his but he has security take her out.

The Corre are in the ring after the break.

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Slater & Gabriel vs. Santino w/Tamina & Kozlov

-Santino goes for the cobra early but gets a spinkick to the face.

-lack luster hot tag to Kozlov who ends up getting hit with the reverse DDT by Slater then hit with the 450 for the pin.

Winners: The Corre

 

After the match The Corre beat on Santino and Kozlov until The Big Show and Kane’s music hit and they make the save. Show and Kane end their beat down with a double choke slam to Jackson. Show then shakes hands with Santino and Kozlov in the red lit ring.

John Cena via Satellite, funny since he was just making fun of this… ironic? He says next week the problems with The Rock will get settled. Cena admits to underestimating the Miz and puts him over as WWE Champion. Large “Cena sucks” chant in the arena. Cena says at WrestleMania he will make history.

Michael Cole then gets back on the mic and says not like Rock or Cena he is here live. He has another exclusive for Lawler next. Back from the break, Swagger and Cole are running around the ring. Cole then gets on the mic and introduces the man training him, Jack Swagger who is now in front of Lawler. Cole wants to revisit what happened last week with Brian Christopher and Jerry Lawler. Christopher has “given” Cole the Lawler family photo album. He shows pictures of Lawler’s father while talking shit about how embarrassed his father was of Lawler. Cole calls Lawler and his father big ol’ bullies and how he is going to put Lawler in his place at WrestleMania. He said all the Lawler’s have something in common, they are all losers. Lawler goes to get up and Swagger sucker punches him. Lawler comes back and takes out Swagger and starts to chase Cole around the ring until Swagger catches him with a clothesline. Swagger then crushes Lawler’s face on Cole’s glass cage then puts him in the ankle lock. Cole then jumps in with his own ankle lock. Both then celebrate over Lawler’s lifeless body.

Cole apologizes after the break saying Lawler keeps pushing his buttons which is why he snaps.

The recap all the Snookie shit from last week.

 

Dolph Ziggler w/LayCool & Vicki Guererro vs. John Morrison w/Trish Stratus

-Mathews plugs the season finale of Jersey Shore this Thursday night. They are really out to show TNA everything they are doing wrong…

-sniff neck breaker by Dolph for a 2 count.

-back flip dropkick by Morrison which leads to Morrison clotheslining Ziggler over the top rope. Morrison looks to dive on Ziggler but is stopped by McCool. McCool is then taken out by Trish who climbs into the ring…

-we get an email… the GM turns the match into a handicap match.

Winner: match stopped.

 

Dolph Ziggler, LayCool and Vicki Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus & John Morrison

We come back from break with Ziggler and Morrison in the ring.

-Layla tags in and Trish comes in and puts the boots to Layla.

-Trish lands the hurricaneranna in the corner this time.

-Flair like chops to Layla.

-McCool kicks Trish from behind and tags in.

-spinning head scissors by Trish.

-Vicki is finally tags in and she misses the leg drop and Trish makes the hot tag.

-match paces drastically picks up with Morrison taking out Ziggler.

-Morrison misses starship pain when he’s distracted by Layla taking out Trish.

-Ziggler sends Morrison into the corner then hits the Zigzag.

-Dolph tags in Vicki and she covers Morrison for the win.

Winners: Ziggler, LayCool and Guerrero

 

Video package on Taker vs. Triple H. They interview Cena, Show, Arn Anderson, Orton, Steamboat, Lawler, Morrison, JR, Stone Cold, Booker T, Harley Race and HBK. All put over the match. Solid piece!

 

WrestleMania Rewind Match

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio

-Both trade moves/kicks to start the match.

-Stiff forearm by Orton before Rey is sent to the outside.

-Rey put on the top rope, he fights Orton off and lands the seated senton.

-Orton with the rolling powerslam.

-second rope DDT is countered then Rey goes for the 619 but Orton catches him and hits the second rope DDT.

-CM Punk is shown on the screen in the back in front of Orton’s bus. He’s going inside to meet Orton’s wife. Orton runs to the back.

Winner: by countout? Rey Mysterio

 

Orton runs up to the bus but Punk jumps out of nowhere and takes out Orton’s leg with a wrench. Orton’s wife then comes out and is yelling, Punk makes fun of her then tells her to shut up. Ha. She goes back on the bus. Punk says Orton wont be kicking anyone in the head. He then kicks Orton in the head and stares at Orton’s wife at the door of the bus. Punk then blows her ass a kiss! Haha Punk made this edition of RAW that shit. Punk bounces and Mrs. Orton comes out to help Orton.

We get Taker and Triple H face to face next week AND the Rock will be live in Chicago.

Alex Riley is in the ring with something covered. He brings up being fired a few weeks back but how he was rehired as the Vice President of Corporate Innovations…? He intros Miz who comes out in a blue suit with a pink shirt and tie. Miz says in the 70’s people would travel great distances to see Mohammad Ali and Michael Jordan. He points how far he’s come. He brings up imitating Rock and calls himself an original. He puts himself over as the greatest WWE Champion in history. Miz say has flipped the WWE and the “W” in the WWE logo for an “M” that means Miz. He says its time to rewrite Miz-tory and we get a roll of the drums and a spot light only to show he’s spun the spinner belt so the W is an M… sigh. Damn, and for a quick second I thought we were getting a new belt. He said it wont spin like a toy anymore. He said he’s not going to be a multitime champion because he isn’t losing the title. He’s the Miz and he’s awesome… they then cut back to Cena on the tron again. Cena “clowns” Miz for turning the W into an M. Cena says you should never make him angry. Some dudes take the via satellite stage apart and Cena is actually in the arena. Cena comes out to stage and looks into the camera and says he’s not via satellite, he’s here making fun of the Rock. Cena runs into the ring and is bum rushed by Miz and Riley. Cena finally clears the ring and Miz runs up the stage while Riley comes back in the ring to get locked into the STF. Ref is out but Cena doesn’t break the move until Miz comes back out. Cena looks at Miz and locks the STF back on Riley a few more times while the refs try to pry Cena off of Riley. Cena finally lets off and looks all mad faced… the end.

 

Eh show, mostly just build up.

RIP Sir Oliver Humperdink

March 20, 2011

Humperdink worked for all of the major companies from the 70’s all the way to the 90’s, most notably managing the likes of Bam Bam Bigelow, Greg Valentine, The One Man Gang, Paul Ordorff and the WCW version of the Freebirds.

Fighter Hayabusa would like to send out our condolences to the Family of Sir Oliver Humperdink who passed away yesterday, he had been battling with Cancer.

 

03-17-11 (airdate) TNA IMPACT! RANT

March 19, 2011

Sorry for the late post folks but seeing as IMPACT! fell on St. Patty’s day, there was no way in hell I was giving up the option to go out for this shit storm of a company. 😉 It will be interesting to see how I digest the show on a Saturday so here we go…

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NWA Hollywood Thoughts & Review [March 18, 2011]

March 18, 2011

Austin Aries promo

  • Aries says that Scorpio Sky’s 2 wins are a fluke and that he needs to even their series 2-2. It’s no laughing matter.

~ Aries = gold. Period.

Famous B promo

  • He tells Ray Rosas that he doesn’t forget anything. He’s going to get his payback.

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Smackdown Thoughts & Review [3. 18. 11]

March 18, 2011

Kansas City, MO

They introduce TOOL as the voice of the WWE. Voice my ass. Negative heat for real.

–If Jerry Lawler doesn’t piledrive his ass at Wrestlemania I will not get my money’s worth.

Edge pins Brodus Clay

  • Edge plays Rey Mysterio early and dodges all of Clay’s strikes.
  • Clay catches Edge and hits him with a fall-away slam.
  • Clay goes all Haku on Edge with tortuous wear down holds.
  • Nice sequence – Clay counters a tornado DDT, then clothesline’s him.
  • Edge with a flying Bulldog off the second rope.
  • Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio distract Edge from getting a spear.
  • Christian plays Captain-Save-a-Ho.
  • Clay misses a clothesline, Edge hits the spear. Done.

–Nice quick match that continues to push the Edge-ADR-Christian triangle storyline. Clay continues to get better by the week. I hope they put him on a winning streak to establish him as a legitimate big man.

Teddy Long comes out.

He makes ADR vs. Christian in a steel cage for later.

–Crap. Christian deserves a better blow off match than this. The steel cage stip is cool but I think Christian vs. ADR is PPV worthy.

Sheamus pins Kofi Kingston

  • I love me some champ vs. champ match ups.
  • Sick neckbreaker by Sheamus. Very Rick Rude.
  • Sheamus rolls through a high cross body off the top into a possible powerslam, but Kofi wiggles out.
  • Kofi with a Ranhei next to the ropes. Sheamus grabs the ropes near the three count.
  • Sheamus kicks the stairs into Kofi’s leg outside.
  • Both men roll into the ring. Bro Kick. Over.

–Decent match. I’ll never understand the WWE’s treatment of Kofi. They give him a moderate push only to job him to a guy who was on a bad losing streak the month before. Whatever, WWE.

It’s a shame that Sheamus won the U.S. Title. Kofi and Daniel Bryan would have wrestle a great best of five series of matches like Bryan did with Dolph Ziggler.

CUT TO THE BACK

Show is in Kane’s face. He tells him to put their differences aside. He reminds him of how they used to dominate everybody. They both choke each other, Kane laughs and then Kane says, “You complete me.”

–The only thing missing was black leather outfits and ball gags. After watching that segment, I feel the same way I did after seeing 300. ((shivers))

Cody Rhodes comes out with a black towel over his head.

Cody Rhodes pins Trent Barretta

  • CR with a sick sick headbutt.
  • CR with another ‘maskbutt’ and it’s over.

–Interesting. He’s basically Mankind with some nice slacks on. I’m loving this character. The possibilities are endless.

They re-air the third part of Shawn Michaels’ interview hyping HHH vs. ‘Taker.

Layla w/ Michelle McCool pins Kelly Kelly

  • Kelly Kelly comes out with half of nothing on. Good. Lord. Damn. What. The. !!!
  • Kelly head triangles Layla’s head over the top. Very nice.
  • Kelly with an acid drop for two.
  • Layla counters Kelly’s handspring with boots to the back.
  • Kelly goes to the second rope, McCool distracts her enough for Layla to sweep her legs for the win.

–Good divas match with a weak ass finish. That being said, the quality of the match was the last thing on my mind.

Very lovely Sin Cara promo with a quasi-religious Deep Forest soundtrack.

–Sin Cara’s logo makes me want a Mexican beer.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Big Show & Kane defeat Slabriel via DQ

  • Kane dominates early.
  • Show is tagged in. Chokeslam.
  • Slater is pulled out at the last moment for the save.
  • Ezekial clothesline’s Show.
  • The Borre do the Nexus beatdown thing on Show in the ring.
  • Barrett gives Show the Wasteland.
  • The Borre attack Kane on the outside and ram into the steel steps.
  • They destroy Kane with a Con-Steel-Steps-to. Wow.
  • They flapjack Show on the announcers table.

–Destruction. This reminds me of what Nexus used to be. Definitely looking forward to Kane and Show’s payback at Wrestlemania.

CUT TO THE BACK

Alberto Del Rio says that Christian is trying to interfere with his destiny. He despises the steel cage. He’s not an animal.

–Great promo. Someone is taking full advantage of all of his WWE opportunities.

Jack Swagger submits Chris Masters

  • Swagger manhandles Masters early.
  • Masters teases a Masterlock early, but Swagger backs him into the turnbuckle and slaps on the ankle lock until Masters kicks him off.
  • Swagger clamps on the Ankle Lock again for the tappy tap.
  • Cole enters the ring and gets in some Ankle Lock practice. Whatever.

–Swagger on my TV = Great. TOOL on my TV = Not so great.

They show a Chris Jericho on DWTS package.

–Yes, I will be watching. However, MDF will not be watching. Boo!

Rey Mysterio pins Ted DiBiase

  • DiBiase counters Rey off the top with a dropkick.
  • DiBiase with a running clothesline for a quick two.
  • Rey with a modified DDT from the powerslam position.
  • DiBiase countered a headscissors with a modded sitout pancake drop (?).
  • 619. Rey Missile Splash. Done.

–This is more proof that Rey can carry anyone to a good match. For DiBiase, it’s all about his opponent. He can certainly hang with the best of them, but can he carry an average worker to a great match like Bryan, Rey, Punk and Cody can?

Steel Cage Match
Christian defeats Alberto Del Rio via escape over the top

  • Match is given ample to time to develop. Thank you, WWE.
  • Christian gains momentum early.
  • Christian goes for the Kill Switch but ADR pushes him into the corner.
  • Both men tease climbing over the top early.
  • ADR destroys Christian with a Mexican Drop off the top rope!
  • ADR hits his corner enziguiri for a close twoooo!
  • Christian slips out of the Cross Arm Breaker and hits the Kill Switch for a close two.
  • ADR kicks Christian’s head while Christian was between the cage and the ropes. ADR climbs ON Christian’s back up the cage!
  • Christian and ADR hang on the edge of the cage.
  • Christian maneuvers around ADR and drops for the win!

ADR beats the hell out of Christian outside of the ring.

ADR gets on the mic.

  • I’m going to destroy you like I’m going to destroy Edge at Wrestlemania.

Edge starts honking the horn of ADR’s ride.

Edge threatens to damage the car with a chair. Not very nice.

Brodus Clay blindsides Edge! Whew. I hate seeing a scratched Bentley.

ADR gives Edge’s left arm a CON-CHAIR-TO! Holy shit! Dope!

End of Show

–I love how they used the cage early and often. This is what a steel cage match is suppose to be about. Both men should FEAR being slammed or scraped against the cage and Christian and ADR did just that.

Christian looked strong without making ADR look weak. ADR and Christian performed a fine steel cage match. It made you want to see these two battle again after Wrestlemania.

ADR kept looking at the Wrestlemania sign. Cool detail to his character and drive.

The post match altercation was icing on the cake. The Con-chair-to Edge’s arm was a nice touch that adds more interest to their match at ‘mania.

All the Smackdown feuds are developing nicely and I’m looking forward to Wrestlemania. Week after week, Smackdown continues to be the more cohesive brand.

*All pictures courtesy of wwe.com

Simon Pegg smells what the Great One is cooking

March 16, 2011

Two of my favorite people converged in this tweet.

03-14-11 WWE RAW REVIEW (Guest Host: Snooki)

March 14, 2011

Show opens with a poster of the Rock, he’s on the phone to someone talking about “Cena’s knockout punch”. He says no one laughed cause it stunk and how Cena acted like a child. Cena’s music hits and Rock ends his call and makes mention of seeing Cena face to face. All of a sudden a little white kid dressed as Cena shows up in Rock’s house. Rock then stands up and tells little Cena not to talk to his ass ghetto and to talk to him like an adult. Lil Cena spits a rhyme better than big Cena’s. haha Rock sits down and tells lil Cena that he’s gonna have a talk with him. Rock said when he left Cena because the man in the WWE. Rock says first it was Kermit the frog, then Barney and now Cena. Rock clowns by saying Cena rules the 2 to 5 demographic. Rock then says this might hurt but if lil Cena knows why he will never be the Rock. Lil Cena says “because I’m not that talented?” to which Rock says yes and how the big elephant in the room is gone now because he’s admitted it. Rock asks lil Cena how it feels to get that weight off his chest and in classic Rock form, he cuts him off with “it doesn’t matter how it makes you feel!” Lil Cena then starts to cry and Rock tries to console him by saying that we’ve all seen Cena’s movies and you don’t see us crying. He says he doesn’t have toilet paper but to blow his nose with this Cena shirt cause no one cares about it anymore. Rock then spits on it before throwing the shirt off to the side. Rock says he is proud of lil Cena for admitting that he isn’t talented. He then says he’s got a gift for lil Cena… Fruity Pebbles! Lil Cena says “hustle, loyalty, respect AND Fruit Pebbles” all excited. Haha Rock then says Fred Flintstone is his hero. The kid runs off as Rock calls him an untalented little fruit loop. Haha Rock then gets serious and turns his attention to Miz. The music gets ominous and Rock says the Miz is correct they haven’t been properly introduced and Miz might be the must see champion he’s the most electrifying man of all of entertainment, the peoples champion. How Miz made statements last week by taking out Cena, making fun of Rock’s family and hitting the peoples elbow and that Miz also made another statement… how Miz wants Rock to give him the single biggest ass whooping of a lifetime. Rock says Miz and Cena, the time for talk is over and how he will bring it before WrestleMania to Monday Night RAW.

Trish Stratus and Snooki in the back chatting it up while they cut to Cole who is in a glass box so Lawler cant get to him! Hahaha

WWE Champion The Miz then comes out while Cole marks out in his box. Miz is greeted by boos that his smiles off and says “really?” Miz says Rock does bring it… bad tattoo’s, old catch phrases, empty promises and pointless diatribes that only a has-been can bring. He brings up making fun of Rock’s family, he says they were good but his father and grandfather were never WWE Champion. Miz says he doesn’t just talk about beating Cena, he does it, that HE owns John Cena. Miz says whatever these people say doesn’t phase him. Miz hopes and prays that Rock brings it but if he does he will be overshadowed by the most must see WWE Champion in the history of the WWE. He’s the Miz, he’s awesome.

Before he can leave we get an email… What’s Cole going to do now?! He leaves his glass box but Lawler stands up too. Lawler gets on the podium instead and tells Cole to go back into his cage now that its cleaned out. The GM is setting up matches for Cena and Miz tonight… Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio… Miz vs…. The Great Khali… sigh.

WWE Champion The Miz vs. The Great Khali w/Runjin

-Miz with a series of kicks and punches that get him no where.

-chop in the corner to the chest of Miz followed but a chop to the top of his head.

-Khali goes for the skull crusher but Miz gets in the ropes.

-Alex Riley shows up to save Miz and he gets hit with the triangle slam.

-Miz back in with a chair to Khali and takes him down with it hitting him over and over again. The chair starts to break!

-Miz then DDT’s Khali onto the steel chair.

-Khali’s back is bleeding from the chair shots. They actually pan into the cut! Bye bye PG!

Winner: Khali by DQ

Cole said he is going to expose Lawler tonight with a special guest.

Cena has 5 million Facebook friends… that’s a lot of kids.

Fluff Triple H video is shown.

Morrison in the back with Snooki chit chatting. Vicki and Ziggler show up. Vicki says Snooki isn’t a big deal with her Rolling Stone cover, she was offered Playboy! Haha oh Vicki, you are money! Snooki says Vicki is the centerfold because she wouldn’t fit on one pay. Vicki goes to slap Snooki but she stops it and slaps Vicki! Morrison pulls Snooki and they bounce while Vicki is freaking out.

United States Champion w/Gail Kim vs. Sheamus

-No crown or cape for Sheamus.

-Justin Roberts reminds us of Sheamus’ stipulation from last week that if he doesn’t win he’ll quit. Sheamus keeps trying to cut Roberts off.

-Sheamus quickly over powers Bryan but Bryan back flips out of the corner and goes for the LaBell lock but Sheamus heads to the outside.

-dive to the outside by Bryan!

-dropkick from the top by Bryan for a two count.

-after the break Sheamus has Bryan in a rear chin lock with his knee in Bryan’s back.

-Josh on commentary brings up if there is a King of the Ring curse… interesting.

-series of shots to the chest of Bryan while he is in the ropes.

-Twilt a whirl by Sheamus but Bryan turns it into a roll up for a 2.

-Bryan sidesteps Sheamus who goes to the outside and lands on his ankle like last week.

-ref holds Bryan back and Sheamus looks to have been playing possum and goes for the bro kick but misses.

-LaBell is locked in!… But Sheamus get to the ropes.

-Sheamus goes for the high cross but Bryan slips out with a roll up for a 2 ½!

-Forearms and kicks by Bryan then takes off Sheamus’ head off with a stiff kick for another 2 count.

-Bryan to the top again but Sheamus hits the bro kick in mid air!!! 1…2…THREEE!

Winner: New United States Champion Sheamus

Michael Cole comes out of the top of his glass box and says he’s going to cause the destruction of the king and how his guest will be out next.

Recap after the break of Stone Cold signing Cole’s ref contract and stunning JBL. The new Stone Cold shirt is straight up lazy.

Cole is now in the ring and isn’t happy that the people enjoyed that and how Stone Cold is in his main event match. He says Austin will have minimal effect in the match. Cole says he knows how defensive Lawler gets when someone talks about his family, living or dead. Cole then bring out Brian Christopher who comes out to the Grand Master Sexay song. He comes out to the stage and does his old dances. Haha Lawler doesn’t look happy. Christopher is juicing this appearance all the way to the ring with his dances. Cole welcomes him back. Cole says he’s gone by many names but there is a name he has never gone by in the WWE and that is Brian Lawler. He asks him why, Christopher says because he feels like he never had a father growing up. How Lawler neclected him growing up and how he never wanted a child. Brian says Lawler didn’t want anyone or anything to get in the way of his spotlight. Brian says he made it on his own to the WWE and Lawler didn’t even acknowledge he was his son. Lawler gets on the mic and says he doesn’t know what to say except that he isn’t the only one that is happy Brian didn’t use the Lawler name. King then calls his son a bigger screw up that Charlie Sheen! WOW! Lawler says that he shown everyone the person he is by aligning himself with Cole. Brian asks King how does it make him feel that HE’S competed at WrestleMania, he says he was one of the biggest superstars at one time. Brian asks him again how it made him feel while pushing his dad. Brian keeps taunting Lawler and pushing him. Brian said he never used Lawler’s last name because he was ashamed of him. Cole says Lawler doesn’t care about his family and how he is pathetic and a loser…OH FUCK!!!!! JIM ROSS IS OUT!!!!!!! Cole said he was wondering when he was going to show up like John Wayne and to steal the spot light. JR said this has gone far enough and for Cole to come to his sense. Cole tells JR to go away that he is over and done, he’s the voice of the WWE not Jim Ross. JR says he’s been meaning to talk to Cole about that voice of WWE thing. He says they aren’t the voice of the WWE, the fans are. JR said Cole’s been protected and carried by Lawler for years now like a baby kangaroo. JR says he’s more like a rat bastard. JR was going to walk off but Cole said JR is running with his tail between his legs. That stops JR and he comes back in, takes his hat off, takes his jacket off then his tie and wants Cole to bring it. JR chant!!! Jack Swagger comes out of nowhere and jumps Lawler. Swagger then comes into the ring as Cole tells Swagger to teach JR some respect. Swagger then jumps JR and puts him in the ankle lock!! Lawler finally comes to and tries to make the save but Swagger then jumps him and puts him in the ankle lock. Swagger then sends Cole to put the ankle lock on JR as he screams in pain! The crowd boos the shit out of Swagger and Cole as they raise their hands.

SEE TNA, even though this segment had a lot of people and things going on it was well done and flowed! Is that so fucking hard!?

EDGE AND CHRISTIAN ARE BACK FRIDAY! They are taking on The Corre for the WWE Tag Team Titles!!! Ah man, please don’t have Christian turn on him!

The show a video package of Orton punting McGillicutty then Otunga.

Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan

-Cole is back on commentary saying its not about him and its about the action in the ring. haha

-Orton’s wife and daughter are at ringside. They look so nice and smiley…

-CM Punk is watching from the stage

-a lot of punching in this match thus far.

-Orton tries to take down Ryan with a clothesline but he doesn’t go down.

-big boot by Ryan and a back breaker for a two count.

-two more back breakers for another two count.

bear hug from Ryan but Orton fights out

-sit down uranage by Ryan for a questionable 2 ½ count

-Ryan looks up at the WrestleMania sign before he tries to hit another uranage but Orton hits an RKO for a three count.

-No Nexus for Punk at WrestleMania.

Winner: Orton

Orton and Punk are on opposing sides of the ramp when Orton looks back at Ryan and PUNTS him too! Punk tries to run down but is too late. Punk and Orton look eye to eye while Orton does his punch the mat thingy. Punk slowly backs up and exits the ring. Medics head to the ring to cart off Ryan.

So basically Randy Orton did in a couple of weeks what Cena couldn’t do in a year?!!?

Drew Carey….!? In the WWE Hall of Fame?! The video package covers his appearance in a Royal Rumble match…

Josh is cut off by Cole when he’s talking about the Hall of Fame. Cole said he has mastered the ankle lock and he will use it to embarrass Lawler at WrestleMania. He then makes fun of JR and while he keeps talking they cut to the main even graphic with Cena vs. Del Rio.

Trish and Snooki in the back when the confrontation I have been waiting happens when Zack Ryder shows up! She says Ryder’s ads are pretty solid and keeps walking… that’s it?! That’s all the TV time Ryder got with this?! Bowlshit.

Justin Roberts intro’s Snooki who comes out to the ring. She gets on the mic, she says she cant wait for her girl Trish “Status” to beat up Vicki. Vicki comes down for her match with no music. Vicki gets on the mic for her signature “excuse me”, she said she will be the legendary Trish Stratus and gets signed onto RAW. She then tells Snooki not to put her hands on her ever again. She says Snooki stole something from her, she then shows the Rolling Stone cover and how it was suppose to be hers. Vicki then shows a Photoshopped version of the cover with her on it! Haha! She then says to the crowd, isn’t that so much better! Haha She says she knows deep down inside she’s a good person.

No DQ Match

Vicki Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus

-I still like blond Trish better.

-Vicki starts the match doing jumping jacks and stretching. Haha

-Trish rolls up Vicki but she comes out of it quick.

-Vicki is running from Trish but then throws her shoe at Trish!

-Trish then kicks Vicki down and spanks Vicki with her other shoe.

-Dolph is out to stop this but then Morrison is out and dives onto Ziggler from the outside.

-LayCool is out and get the best of Trish.

-Vicki covers Trish…1..2…3!

Winner: Vicki Guerrero

LayCool and Vicki are not taking pictures over the knocked out Trish. McCool then sees Snooki and starts to make fun of her height. We get a Snooki chant when McCool gets in her face. McCool pushers her down but Snooki then pulls McCool’s leg which causes her to fall off the ring apron. Snooki then hits the Thesz press on Layla, best version any woman has done of that move in a LONG time! Haha She beats on Layla while Trish beats on McCool. Vicki, Dolph and LayCool hit the bricks while Trish, Snooki and Morrison celebrate. Vicki tells Snooki she is way over her head and she is going to show all of us what Snooki deserves. Vicki then challenges Trish, Snooki and Morrison to take on LayCool and Ziggler at… WrestleMania!? Wow, them two other Jersey Shore chicks look straight up bush league considering Snooki is heading to WrestleMania…. Wait?! Did I just say Snooki is going to WrestleMania?!!?!… sigh

Morrison and Ziggler are better than this but I guess they’ll get mainstream media out of this shit.

Sin Cara video package is shown. God damn I hope they don’t drop the ball with this dude! His logo is kinda dope.

Yet another HBK promo video, this time he covers The Undertaker. He says Taker’s best asset is the streak. He says you have to stay focused through the smoke and mirrors he brings. Good shit.

#1 Contender vs. #1 Contender

Alberto Del Rio w/Brodus Clay vs. John Cena

-convertible white Bentley is his car of choice tonight.

-long collar and elbow into a Del Rio head lock.

-Cole says some shit about The Rock there in St. Louis!?

-dropkick from ADR for a 2 count after the break.

-lets go Cena/Cena sucks chants.

-double clothesline spot.

-Cena makes the same ol shit comeback that leads to the fist drop.

-Cena sets Del Rio for the AA but Clay makes the save.

Winner: Cena by DQ

-ROCK’S MUSIC HITS!

-it’s the Miz dressed at the Rock! Haha

-Cena tries to fight them off but Clay stops him.

-Miz hits the Rock Bottom to same jeans!

-flash kick in the corner by Del Rio to Cena

-fall away slam by Clay to Cena

-Miz poses like the Rock on the ropes. haha

-Miz then sends Cena back first into the ring post then clocks Cena with the mic.

-Miz says he’s owned Cena these last three weeks and will own him the next three till WrestleMania and then hits him with the mic again.

-suplex on the stage by Miz

-Cena tries to fight back on the stage but is cut off with a DDT on the stage.

-Miz bounces Cena’s head off the big WWE sign on the stage.

-Skull Crushing Finale onto the big WWE sign!

Great way to get Miz over as a credible champion and on the same level as Cena.

Good show and a great push continues to WrestleMania!

Smackdown Thoughts & Review [3. 11. 11]

March 12, 2011

Houston, TX

Edge Promo

  • Edge says Alberto Del Rio has no idea who he’s dealing with.

Alberto Del Rio and Brodus Clay come out.

  • Del Rio says his destiny spiel.
  • ADR and Brodus attack Edge and gain an advantage.
  • Christian plays Captain Save-a-Ho

Teddy Long comes out and makes a tag match between Brodus Clay and ADR vs. Edge and Christian

–This match better involve a con-chair-to.

Kane comes out to the ring.

Wade Barrett comes out with a mic.

  • He says Kane made two big mistakes.
  • One, he doesn’t appreciate what the Borre has done for him.
  • Secondly, he put his hands on Justin Gabriel.

Kane and Wade Barrett battle to a No Contest

  • The Borre enter the ring.
  • Big Show comes out to play Giant Captain Save-a-Ho.
  • They come back from commercial break and state that an official match was made.

Kane & Big Show defeat Wade Barrett & Heath Slater via DQ

  • Kane was tagged in and cleaned house.
  • Kane was about to hit the chokeslam but the rest of the Borre interfered.
  • The Borre got the upperhand until Show cleared them out of the ring with a chair. Show even got a chair shot on Kane for their match last week.

–This isn’t the storyline or feud that we wanted but I like this feud just as much. As I’ve mentioned before, Kane is do for a turn and this is program worthy of Big Show and Kane.

CUT TO THE BACK

They show Rey strapping on one of his sickest black masks yet.

They keep hyping an interview between Lil Tool and John Fruity Pebbles.

They show a replay of Stone Cold’s segment on RAW.

JTG is in the ring.

Cody Rhodes comes in business casual attire. Odd.

Cody Rhodes pins JTG

  • Rhodes’ in ring style is a lot more agressive and rugged.
  • Rhodes hit JTG with a hard headbutt. Cross Rhodes, and it’s done.

–A total gimmick change and now Cody is a deranged and bitter man who wrestles business casual gear. Interesting. His offense looked amazing and his match against Rey should be a sleeper contender for Match of the Night.

Replay of HBK’s interview to hype ‘Taker vs. HHH

John Cena interview with Lil Tool

  • Tool replays Miz’s beating of Cena from this week’s RAW.
  • Cena disses Tool and tells him to get out of the ring. Cheap pop.
  • Cena says Miz made the biggest mistake of his career and goes into an expository explanation of their storyline.
  • Cena says he’s done wasting his time being murked by the Rock in promo. (He didn’t really say it but it’s true.)
  • His new focus is on breaking Miz’s face.
  • Tool speaks again and asks Cena to answer the question.
  • Cena takes off his shirt.
  • Swagger comes in to play All American Save-a-Ho.
  • Swagger gains the upperhand while Tool talks shit.
  • Cena fights Swagger off, teases to AA Tool, only to have Swagger break it up.
  • Cena AA’s Swagger instead.

–I think the WWE realized that Cena’s war of words against the Rock was turning most of Cena’s fans against him. Hopefully we won’t have to see another one of Cena’s wack ass homo-erotic punchline filled battle rap again. This was solely done to get Cena’s heat back. Make that cheap heat.


Layla with Michelle McCool pinned Kaitlyn

  • Kaitlyn came out to a big pop
  • Kaitlyn was looking quite fine. Booker T responded with, “Shucky Ducky quack quack…look at her.” Agreed Booker. Agreed.
  • Kaitlyn tossed Layla around until McCool distracted her on the apron.
  • Layla attacked with a side kick and a sick neckbreaker for the win.
  • After the match, Layla pulled Kaitlyn’s head against the bottom turnbuckle. McCool blasted the back of Kaitlyn’s head with a running loaded boot. Ouch.

–Nice short match for what it was. Two of my favorite divas not named Eve Torres did well for themselves. I like how they’re highlighting Kaitlyn’s strength. It looks like she’s improved tenfold since her NXT days. Layla was solid as usual. I hope this is a beginning of a Kaitlyn vs. LayCool feud to give Kaitlyn a push – but it’s probably not.


Rey Mysterio pins Drew McIntyre

  • Drew kills Rey with a HUGE boot.
  • Hard backbreaker by Drew for two.
  • Dope sequence – Rey headscissors Drew into the 619 position, Drew rolls out, Rey follows with his head first tumble outside. Drew misses a clothesline and turns around only for his face to be smashed into the corner of the ring apron via Rey’s drop toe hold. Dope!
  • Drew sidewalks release slams Rey HARD onto the ring apron. That looked amazing. I hope Drew uses that more often.
  • Drew bends Rey with a bow and arrow. Nice.
  • Rey rallies but misses a springboard cross body.
  • Rey dodges Drew who rammed his shoulder into the corner post. Rey follows up with a hard jump kick to the head.
  • 619 followed by Rey’s missile splash off the top for the duke!

Cody Rhodes comes out and asks Rey about his challenge.

Rey grabs a mic and responds.

  • Rey said he wears his mask with pride and he will wear it with pride when he beats Cody at Wrestlemania.

Cody walks off in anger.

–Excellent, excellent match. In the past few months, I’ve been saying Drew’s ringwork is growing on me. This match was entertaining as hell and hopefully Rey and Drew will have a mini-feud after Wrestlemania. I want more.

Cody Rhodes is going for it. If this isn’t the beginning of a jetpack push I don’t know what is. I expect Cody to be a World Champion by the end of 2011. Rey vs. Cody is definitely going to be the sleeper match of the night at ‘Mania. I just hope Cody wrestles in wrestling gear.

HHH Promo

  • He’s seen the two greatest matches he’s ever seen at the last two Wrestlemanias.
  • He can separate emotion from his matches.
  • HHH says Shawn came into his matches with Undertaker with the mindset of not to lose instead of winning.
  • He will beat the Undertaker.
  • He will not care about the mountain of legacy that stands before him.
  • He thanks ‘Taker for making the match No Holds Barred.

–I pray to the wrestling gods to keep the Undertaker’s streak alive. All dirt sheet speculation aside. I am never convinced that HHH will allow himself to put someone over on a PPV. Never.

CUT TO THE BACK

Matt Striker interviews Christian.

  • He rattles off pop references that have come in the last ten years.
  • “Houston,…more specifically, Alberto Del Rio, we have a problem.”
  • Edge comes into the frame and Christian tells him, “Let’s do this.”

–Great promo. Period.

Edge & Christian defeat Alberto Del Rio & Brodus Clay

  • Clay grabbed Christian off the top rope and hit a nice fishermans suplex.
  • ADR avoids Edge early on.
  • Christian with a flying spinning elbow off the top on ADR.
  • Edge is tagged in but is powerslammed by Clay.
  • Edge tries to spear. But Clay counters with a hard clothesline.
  • ADR attacks Edge but thrown out of the ring by Christian.
  • Christian hits a nice tornado DDT on Clay.
  • Edge followed up with a Lost in Space Elbow Drop from the top for the win!

–Great match that minimized the confrontation time between ADR and Edge. Clay was booked like a beast here and that’s a good thing. They played up Clay’s strengths and he came off looking like a future contender in this match.

I don’t know if they’re going to have Christian turn on Edge in the near future. I think that’s a mistake. E & C is one of the last great tag team franchises from the WWE’s glory era. I can see E & C reunion matches bringing in as much business as Degeneration X did a few years ago.

The Show Overall

Again Smackdown brought a good balance between promos and wrestling despite the lack of a Con-chair-to.

I like how they maintain a steady course for all the Smackdown feuds. Nothing seems rushed and everything seems to make sense.

Kane teaming up with Big Show is coming along slowly.

I look forward to seeing Clay and Kaitlyn improve and move up the roster this year.

As much as I’m going to miss the Dashing Beauty Tips segments, this new incarnation of Cody Rhodes is very compelling. I think he realizes that this version of himself can be taken seriously as a title contender instead of a mid card fixture. I just hope Cody eventually wears wrestling gear.

HHH vs. Undertaker would not be nearly the draw it is if it wasn’t for the last two epic matches between HBK and Undertaker. HBK’s presence within the promos adds so much weight to the match. I just hope HHH doesn’t go over with the help of his Mjöllnir.

The ADR vs. Edge storyline is strong. There’s no senseless drama involved and it’s based on competition between two men who want to be the best. If that’s not a good reason for a main event I don’t know what is.

*Pictures courtesy of wwe.com