03-31-11 TNA IMPACT! RANT

by

I have no idea what I am in for but it can’t be good…

Oh god the name of this episode is R-V-DAMNED.

Anderson starts ANOTHER IMPACT, he drags Earl Hebner into the ring about who rung the bell last week. They bicker, Earl stands up to him and tells his ass he got DQ because he needed to be. Earl is about to get Mic Checked with Brian Hebner comes in and stops him. Anderson talks shit to both of them and now Sting is out, he sends the Hebner’s off and gets in Anderson’s face. They brawl and moments later security breaks them up. The overbooking is now official when RVD comes out, he wants Anderson added to the Lockdown match, Hebner says he cant do it but of course this brings out Hogan and Bischoff. Hogan sides with RVD and makes this shit a 3 way. Bischoff sets up Anderson, Sting & RVD vs. Bully Ray, Matt Hardy & Abyss in a cage tonight. WOW an opening segment done in 10 minutes!… oh wait Sting and Anderson continue to brawl.  Ok now its over, phew!

Anderson gives Jason Hervey a hard time backstage, so tough.

RVD then gets interviewed about taking out both guys by Hervey, wow kid is fast.

Now another interview with Sting, he’s sad face and wants an apology. Hervey again.

Shannon Moore says he’s cool and hip. He disrespected Scott Steiner cause he can blah blah.

Scott Steiner cuts a promo on Moore continually calling him a big.

Now ANOTHER promo, Hervey asks Ray about AJ. He’s angry and is going to beat someone’s ass.

The Jarrett’s are all scared and pissy about ending up with Kurt Angle in a cage. Hogan says he’s gonna fix it and drags Rob Terry into it.

Scott Steiner comes out for this match with Shannon Moore, he’s intro’d “from the university of Michigan” god I hope he’s still not there that would be sad. Eric Young on commentary says there is a 4 way tag match at the ppv, Young & Jordan vs. Steiner & Crimson vs. Ink Inc vs…. a mystery team. Young keeps trying to guess who the mystery team is saying Demolition and the Beverly Brothers… ok so these boos Moore is getting are piped in because it was cut quickly. Funny. Steiner hits the Frankensteiner from the top rope!!! WOW I am shocked he can still do that shit! That puts away Moore. Young and Jordan go down to the ring and get jumped by… The British Invasion! Looks like we got team #4.

Anderson is taking to a poster of himself in the back. Poster Anderson says Sting can go fuck himself… so Sting doesn’t want to go to the WWE because of their crap but puts up with this shit?! Ok man.

The Jarrett’s bicker backstage.

Vignette on Generation ME breaking up. Didn’t know this happened…!?

They wrestle each other in what was a really good match. X Division style like this has been missing from the TNA regular. Matt Hardy Max hits a spinner Stunner off the top for the pin.

Winter and zombie Angelina in the back. Winter is giving Love liquid roofies while she talks shit on Velvet.

They cut to video on the Angelina, Winter and Skye love triangle.

Skye vs. Winter is up next. Skye is just so bad. Zombie Love comes out for this distraction and Winter makes Skye tap out.

Oh god Anderson is back out again and he calls out Sting. Anderson looks like he’s gonna apologize, instead he punches Sting and they go at it… again. These assholes fight into the crowd. I don’t think there is a person in this arena that isn’t wearing shorts. Now Flair’s team comes out and beats on Anderson and Sting. Matt Hardy is doing the braids again, such a good look. RVD comes out to save Sting but not so much Anderson. RVD then bounces. Sting clocks Anderson in the ring and keeps Flair’s team at bay.

Jarrett’s are filing a fake police report, classy.

Flair’s team is in the back with Flair now. He says these guys shouldn’t even have to bother with this match after what they just did.

Skye in the back, she’s pissed. She keeps pointing to her tits shirt.

Kurt Angle in street clothes is taking on Rob Terry with Jeff Jarrett. Terry beats on Angle until he gets the ankle lock on. After the match Angle beats on Jarrett all the way to the back and right into the hands of the cops.

Fortune discuss Anderson, Sting and RVD. They want to help Sting… fucking goodie-goodies.

Hogan and Bischoff in the back being sneaky. Whatever no one cares.

Main event time, Matt Hardy, Abyss and Bully Ray with Ric Flair vs. Sting, Anderson and RVD. Anderson cant even get his mic shtick out as he gets jumped by Sting. Anderson finally comes to and sits at ringside to watch Immortal take out Sting and RVD. Hogan comes out (back brace and all) trying to get Anderson in the cage. Hogan then beats on Anderson and throws him into the steel cage match. Sting then starts to beat on Anderson while Immortal watches..? This mess finally ends when Ray pins RVD after Anderson sends RVD off the top rope. Anderson bounces while Immortal keeps beating on Sting and RVD. Fortune come out for the brawl. Flair locks the cage behind them.. this is boring… OH SHIT its Christopher Daniels! He climbs the cage and dives onto Immortal!… and we go to break?! What!? Way to kill the heat on this TNA you fucking dumb asses!

We go into reaction shit… Flair, Bully Ray, Abyss and Hardy yell a lot about Chris Daniels. I think Ray got a “fuck” on TV… oops. They then cut to Fortune and Daniels who talk shit on Immortal. Sting is next and he cuts it short thank god. Jason Hervey chases down Anderson who ends up getting jumped by RVD.

Well its over folks, not as painful as last week but still overkill with Anderson, Sting and RVD.

 

 

 

 

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