03-21-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

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The show starts off with Michael Cole coming out dressed as Jim Ross wearing a pillow in his stomach, a neck brace on his leg, holding a BBQ sauce bottle and a mouth full of cotton. Cole talks shit to Lawler before retreating into his glass cage.

Right after that Triple H comes out. He show boats for what seems like 3 months.  He wonders if this is the last time he will be in this building after his match with Taker. He pushes the match and says neither of them will be the same. Triple H then wants Taker to come to RAW next week so he can tell him what’s going to happen at WrestleMania. HHH then says if he doesn’t beat Taker its because he died trying but that Takers record will go to 18-1. He ends with saying the Undertaker will rest in peace.

Ted DiBiase comes out to the stage and wants people to feel sorry for him saying he was at WrestleMania last year but he’s an afterthought this year. He says if he takes out HHH two weeks before WrestleMania, people will notice him. This ends up in a brawl around the ring that HHH wins but fucking up Ted with a steel chair. HHH then completely buries Ted by hitting the pedigree on him through the announce table…. Sigh.

 

United States Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

-what is it about whoever is the US champion doesn’t get a full introduction anymore!?

-Sheamus starts off quickly manhandling Bourne.

-Evan gets in one spin kick and goes for the shooting star press… he misses and gets hit with the bro kick for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

 

Sheamus gets on the mic and says he’s the champion of the United States of America. This brings out Daniel Bryan all serious faced. He wants his rematch at WrestleMania. Sheamus throws the belt at Bryan then bro kicks him while he yells about shamrock shakes at McDonalds… wait what!?

Orton shows up when he’s stopped but that new interviewer guy. Orton is asked about this tour bus he travels on now. He says some shit about traveling with his family, blah blah blah. Can you be any more obvious that Punk is going to do something with this bus?!

 

Maryse vs. Diva’s Champion Eve

-these dumbasses argue and Maryse gets bitch slapped.

-Maryse then gets all pissed and beats on Eve.

-Michael Cole gets on the mic and wants this over. They keep wrestling while Cole keeps yelling about finishing this so he can go on with something else he has for Lawler.

-Eve hits the spinning neck breaker to finish this.

Winner: Eve

 

Eve goes and tries to get in the face of Cole but his security and box keep her out. She finally gets a smack on his but he has security take her out.

The Corre are in the ring after the break.

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Slater & Gabriel vs. Santino w/Tamina & Kozlov

-Santino goes for the cobra early but gets a spinkick to the face.

-lack luster hot tag to Kozlov who ends up getting hit with the reverse DDT by Slater then hit with the 450 for the pin.

Winners: The Corre

 

After the match The Corre beat on Santino and Kozlov until The Big Show and Kane’s music hit and they make the save. Show and Kane end their beat down with a double choke slam to Jackson. Show then shakes hands with Santino and Kozlov in the red lit ring.

John Cena via Satellite, funny since he was just making fun of this… ironic? He says next week the problems with The Rock will get settled. Cena admits to underestimating the Miz and puts him over as WWE Champion. Large “Cena sucks” chant in the arena. Cena says at WrestleMania he will make history.

Michael Cole then gets back on the mic and says not like Rock or Cena he is here live. He has another exclusive for Lawler next. Back from the break, Swagger and Cole are running around the ring. Cole then gets on the mic and introduces the man training him, Jack Swagger who is now in front of Lawler. Cole wants to revisit what happened last week with Brian Christopher and Jerry Lawler. Christopher has “given” Cole the Lawler family photo album. He shows pictures of Lawler’s father while talking shit about how embarrassed his father was of Lawler. Cole calls Lawler and his father big ol’ bullies and how he is going to put Lawler in his place at WrestleMania. He said all the Lawler’s have something in common, they are all losers. Lawler goes to get up and Swagger sucker punches him. Lawler comes back and takes out Swagger and starts to chase Cole around the ring until Swagger catches him with a clothesline. Swagger then crushes Lawler’s face on Cole’s glass cage then puts him in the ankle lock. Cole then jumps in with his own ankle lock. Both then celebrate over Lawler’s lifeless body.

Cole apologizes after the break saying Lawler keeps pushing his buttons which is why he snaps.

The recap all the Snookie shit from last week.

 

Dolph Ziggler w/LayCool & Vicki Guererro vs. John Morrison w/Trish Stratus

-Mathews plugs the season finale of Jersey Shore this Thursday night. They are really out to show TNA everything they are doing wrong…

-sniff neck breaker by Dolph for a 2 count.

-back flip dropkick by Morrison which leads to Morrison clotheslining Ziggler over the top rope. Morrison looks to dive on Ziggler but is stopped by McCool. McCool is then taken out by Trish who climbs into the ring…

-we get an email… the GM turns the match into a handicap match.

Winner: match stopped.

 

Dolph Ziggler, LayCool and Vicki Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus & John Morrison

We come back from break with Ziggler and Morrison in the ring.

-Layla tags in and Trish comes in and puts the boots to Layla.

-Trish lands the hurricaneranna in the corner this time.

-Flair like chops to Layla.

-McCool kicks Trish from behind and tags in.

-spinning head scissors by Trish.

-Vicki is finally tags in and she misses the leg drop and Trish makes the hot tag.

-match paces drastically picks up with Morrison taking out Ziggler.

-Morrison misses starship pain when he’s distracted by Layla taking out Trish.

-Ziggler sends Morrison into the corner then hits the Zigzag.

-Dolph tags in Vicki and she covers Morrison for the win.

Winners: Ziggler, LayCool and Guerrero

 

Video package on Taker vs. Triple H. They interview Cena, Show, Arn Anderson, Orton, Steamboat, Lawler, Morrison, JR, Stone Cold, Booker T, Harley Race and HBK. All put over the match. Solid piece!

 

WrestleMania Rewind Match

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio

-Both trade moves/kicks to start the match.

-Stiff forearm by Orton before Rey is sent to the outside.

-Rey put on the top rope, he fights Orton off and lands the seated senton.

-Orton with the rolling powerslam.

-second rope DDT is countered then Rey goes for the 619 but Orton catches him and hits the second rope DDT.

-CM Punk is shown on the screen in the back in front of Orton’s bus. He’s going inside to meet Orton’s wife. Orton runs to the back.

Winner: by countout? Rey Mysterio

 

Orton runs up to the bus but Punk jumps out of nowhere and takes out Orton’s leg with a wrench. Orton’s wife then comes out and is yelling, Punk makes fun of her then tells her to shut up. Ha. She goes back on the bus. Punk says Orton wont be kicking anyone in the head. He then kicks Orton in the head and stares at Orton’s wife at the door of the bus. Punk then blows her ass a kiss! Haha Punk made this edition of RAW that shit. Punk bounces and Mrs. Orton comes out to help Orton.

We get Taker and Triple H face to face next week AND the Rock will be live in Chicago.

Alex Riley is in the ring with something covered. He brings up being fired a few weeks back but how he was rehired as the Vice President of Corporate Innovations…? He intros Miz who comes out in a blue suit with a pink shirt and tie. Miz says in the 70’s people would travel great distances to see Mohammad Ali and Michael Jordan. He points how far he’s come. He brings up imitating Rock and calls himself an original. He puts himself over as the greatest WWE Champion in history. Miz say has flipped the WWE and the “W” in the WWE logo for an “M” that means Miz. He says its time to rewrite Miz-tory and we get a roll of the drums and a spot light only to show he’s spun the spinner belt so the W is an M… sigh. Damn, and for a quick second I thought we were getting a new belt. He said it wont spin like a toy anymore. He said he’s not going to be a multitime champion because he isn’t losing the title. He’s the Miz and he’s awesome… they then cut back to Cena on the tron again. Cena “clowns” Miz for turning the W into an M. Cena says you should never make him angry. Some dudes take the via satellite stage apart and Cena is actually in the arena. Cena comes out to stage and looks into the camera and says he’s not via satellite, he’s here making fun of the Rock. Cena runs into the ring and is bum rushed by Miz and Riley. Cena finally clears the ring and Miz runs up the stage while Riley comes back in the ring to get locked into the STF. Ref is out but Cena doesn’t break the move until Miz comes back out. Cena looks at Miz and locks the STF back on Riley a few more times while the refs try to pry Cena off of Riley. Cena finally lets off and looks all mad faced… the end.

 

Eh show, mostly just build up.

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