03-07-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

by

They recap last weeks Triple H promo where he buried the current roster, killed Sheamus and about his match with Taker at WrestleMania.

We cut to the area to Taker’s gongs and Johnny Cash’s song. Taker then does his slow, smoky walk to the ring. Taker says two legends will collide at WrestleMania and in the end there can only be one last outlaw. He mentions how people say this is the year the streak ends and how they feel Triple H is the one man to do it. Taker reminds us what happened at the last two WrestleMania with someone Taker calls, the greatest of all time. They then roll to footage of the Taker vs. HBK matches from Mania, good video. He says at WrestleMania there will be no excuses and the match will be No Holds Barred! Taker mentions what HHH said about when the streak dies, Taker dies or Triple H will die trying. He ends by saying HHH will rest in peace. Good opener that didn’t drag on… (cough, cough, TNA).

Stone Cold Steve Austin returns tonight!

They cut to the back and its Nexus beating on Randy Orton. Punk says he put McGillicutty on the shelf but where they are sending him is much much worse. Punk throws him continually into a steel wall then gives him the G2S. Punk then wants Nexus to drag Orton to the ring.

We’re back from break and Nexus is still beating on Orton in the ring. The refs finally show up to break this up. Otunga is yelling at the ref to ring the bell to start his match with Orton. The ref asks Orton if he wants to continue and he says yes.

 

Randy Orton vs. David Otunga

-The bell rings and Otunga goes right at Orton in the corner punching and kicking him.

-Otunga makes covers after bodyslams…? He keeps looking at the WrestleMania sign.

-Uranage on Orton for a two count

-RKO out of nowhere on Otunga…1..2..3! Otunga can not be in the corner of Punk.

Winner: Orton

 

Mason Ryan comes out after the match and continues to beat on Orton… until RKO to Ryan! Punk shows back up and he keeps taunting that he is going to go into the ring. Orton looks back at Otunga and before Punk can get to Otunga, he gets punted! This Nexus keeps getting bitched out. Bring back Wade Barrett… geez. Why cant CM Punk ever get a stable that they get behind, fuck!

Cole reveals his choice for guest ref in his match with Lawler at WrestleMania tonight.

The cover that Miz has posted on Twitter that he is boycotting RAW tonight.

CHRISTIAN IS HERE! Ricardo Rodriguez comes out and intro’s Alberto Del Rio who comes out with Brodus Clay. At least we know what they are doing with this guy. ADR tells Christian that they are fighting but not tonight and tells him he has to get through Clay first.

 

Christian vs. Brodus Clay w/Alberto Del Rio

-Christian goes for the Killswitch early but Clay power out of it.

-Head butt thrust from Clay to Christian’s chest!

-Arm lock by Clay into a t-bone suplex.

-Dropkick by Christian off the top ropes but it takes two of those to get Clay off his feet. 2 count for Christian.

-Tornado DDT by Christian in the corner…1..2…THREE!

Winner: Christian

 

After the match ADR beats on Christian, he tries to fight back but ends up in the arm bar. The ref finally gets Del Rio off of Christian, he smiles and walks off with his crew.

Recap of Rock’s response to Cena. Cena tweet’s he’ll throw the knockout blow tonight… whatever man.

Great promo video is shown for Sin Cara! This dude is fucking quick!

Sunny is the next inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame! Oh, and “Bullet” Bob Armstrong was sort of announced too.

 

Diva’s Champion Eve w/Gail Kim vs. Nikki Bella w/Bre

-Eve starts by manhandling Nikki.

-Cole spends the whole match getting himself over and his match at WrestleMania.

-Cole finally gets on the mic and says enough with this match and how he cannot wait to announce his guest ref will be. Josh keeps telling Cole to sit down, I think it finally worked.

-Ref catches Bre trying to do Twin Magic and kicks her out of the ring.

-Neck breaker by Eve for the 3 count.

Winner: Eve

 

Cole gets back on the mic and says thank god that is over, he calls himself the main event and how we’re going to find out who the ref is… back from break and they roll footage of Swagger taking out Lawlwe from last week. Cole says his match will be the main event, he is holding the contract for the match and the person who signs it will be raising his hand up high when he beats Lawler. He said he respects Lawler which is why he choose this person to be the ref and will call it down the line. This person is a former WWE Champion and a true legend, Cole says. That this person is iconic and a Texan just like Cole. Cole keeps saying “you know he is hear” and gets the crowd to chant “Austin”, he then calls the crowd fools and how he suckered us all… and how his ref for WrestleMania is….JBL!!! The limo with the horns pulls up and JBL comes out of the limo with his shit grin, a suite and a cowboy hat. He and Cole stand in the ring hugging and smiling. JBL brings up how he left the WWE for New York City and how he felt sorry for Texas and their loser teams. He thanks the people for welcoming him with open hearts. Ha. He says whatever to the WrestleMania guest host and how no one has ever had their debut match in the main event at WrestleMania. How Cole has paid his dues to become what he is now. JBL says he hates bully’s like Lawler… HA! Pot calling the kettle black! JBL says he cant be bought and will call this match down the line. He pulls out a pen to sign Cole’s contract. JBL says this is his return by signing this contract. Before he can sign it…STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN’S MUSIC HITS! Austin comes out and celebrates on the turnbuckles with middle fingers blazing! The first shot got the fingers, all the other ones cut off the shot at his wrists. JBL and Cole yell at Austin while the crowd chants for Stone Cold. STUNNER TO JBL! Austin puts on JBL’s hat and calls for beers! Cole gets back on commentary and yells how this was HIS NIGHT! Austin pours beer on JBL and he drinks another. Austin then stops and looks down at the contract sitting in the ring, then looks up at the WrestleMania sign as the crowd cheers him on. Cole is losing his shit right now! Vintage Cole! Haha Austin say’s if you want him to sign this contract give him a HELL YEAH, the crowd gives it to him and Austin signs the contract! Cole says he’s gonna faint! Haha Austin says he is now the guest ref because Stone Cold said so! Cole keeps begging asking why. Austin then shakes his hand and covers Cole in beer, wishes him luck and pushes him back into his chair. Austin goes back into the ring and while Cole is leaving all pouty lipped, Austin pours more beer on him. JBL is on his feet and Austin gives him a beer. JBL is apprehensive but they toast, drink and Austin stunners JBL again! Cole and Swagger are on the stage all pissed.

Good segment, maybe a little predictable but fun. Austin might need to practice his Stunners again, he seemed a little rusty.

More footage of the Rock from last week is shown.

Cole and Swagger in the back and Cole is bitching about his suit and being drenched on beer. Swagger tells Cole to focus on the so called King and he’ll focus on Stone Cold.

Of course now that Cole is gone, Lawler is out for commentary. I like that they are keeping Cole and Lawler separate. Cole said we saw the greatest thing in TV history.

 

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

-Sheamus looks sad faced coming to the ring.

-They show footage of him getting bitched out by Triple H last week.

-Sheamus starts off aggressive on Bryan in the corner, manhandling him.

-Dropkick by Bryan than sends Sheamus to the outside and holding his ankle.

-Sheamus gets counted out as he favored his ankle.

Winner: via countout Daniel Bryan

 

Sheamus gets on the mic and says he’s been on a losing streak but that changes next week when he wins the US Title. He challenges Bryan and says if he cant beat him, he’ll quit! Bryan agrees to the match.

Next we get part 2 of HBK’s interview about Taker vs. HHH.

 

CM Punk w/Mason Ryan vs. R-Truth

-Truth is just the jobber to the stars now.

-Punk tries to get the best of Truth off the bat but Truth rolls him up for a quick 2 count.

-Punk sent Truth into the corner post multiple times.

-Truth fights back with a series of clotheslines and a scissors kick for another 2 count.

-Punk hangs Truths arm over the ropes then hits a Uranage into the Anaconda Vise for the tap out victory.

Winner: CM Punk

 

After the match Punk has Ryan hit the shoulder breaker on Truth.

Best sign of the night from WWE Sign Guy. It says “Nexus leader?” with a picture of CM Punk from high school. Haha

They go to footage of HBK talking about Triple H and their history. He talks about the evolution of Triple H over the years and shills the shit out of him. I think its smart to make Triple H sound like he is bad ass enough to take out Taker but lets not keep burying the current roster folks.

Snooki from the Jersey Shore is the guest host next week…. Sigh.

Vick Guerrero is out! She gets out a couple of “excuse me’s” then intro’s the former World Champion and the new member of the RAW roster, Dolph Ziggler.

 

Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero vs. John Morrison

-Vicki is on commentary and she says her and Ziggler are just business partners now.

-Great spot where Morrison goes to jump over Ziggler but Ziggler dropkicks his knee instead which sends him to the outside.

-Back from break and Ziggler has Morrison in a headlock.

-Vicki talks shit about Snooki and how she best keep her hands off her men.

-Rolling neck breaker from Morrison but Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes.

-Poke to the eye of Morrison when the ref wasn’t looking which sets up the Zig Zag for the 3 count!

Winner: Ziggler

 

Vicki goes into the ring to celebrate with Ziggler and we get an email… Lawler says Cole is ringing beer out of his diaper, he reads the email and the GM did hire Ziggler but not Guerrero! The GM calls her a “very polarizing figure”. Lawler said she can have a job if she wins her match next week against… TRISH STRATUS! Security then comes out to escort Vicki out. The crowd is eating this shit up while Vicki grabs onto Ziggler’s leg. Ziggler calms her down and she leaves with security. Vicki is pissed that Ziggler isn’t helping her. haha.

More footage of Rock’s comments last week, how Cena will pay for running his mouth.

Cena comes out for his “knockout punch”… The bitches cheer him and the dudes boo him. We get a Rocky chant. He kisses the crowds ass in Texas. He said he’s got one guy mad at him, the Rock. That gets another Rock chant. He said he liked what the Rock said about him, how he thought it was funny. He then does the “you can’t see me” that Rock does. He said some things that made Rock really mad. Cena says he is addressing Rock in hiphop this week. Crowd is booing. He says the Rock’s ass is soft and how he wouldn’t take is glasses off. He said he could have gotten on a plane or a helicopter but instead he stayed home and read off a teleprompter. He said you could see the words on his glasses. He said that the Rock is unbeatable and how he is going to put Cena on the shelf but the only thing Rock is beating is himself. He says Cena is in the same place but that Rock is a yabba dabba disgrace. He says Rock’s bragging made him throw up, but if he wants to be the People’s champion all he has to do is show up. Cena says he is glad this is over so he can cross it off his check list and offers Rock a pearl necklace… that he pulls out of his pocket. He makes a Rock eating his shiatsu then cuts to a picture of Rock looking like he is eating a dog. Cena has a Rock shirt that says “I bring it, via satellite”. Funny. He tells Rock not to call him out anymore cause that’s bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Better showing from Cena in this one but still, he is second class and still a bitch. Why doesn’t he go and scratch the Rock because his balls itch.

Miz comes from behind and clocks Cena with the WWE Title! Miz then gets on the mic and says he and his little buddy the Rock have disrespected him for the last time. How every time he and Rock get their panties in a wade the same thing happens to Cena. Miz then busts his own rhyme. He then looks into the camera and introduces himself to the Rock. He tells Rock to be the best Ryan Seacrest he can be. He then talks shit on Rock and says he’s the Miz… then hit the skull crushing finale on Cena! Oh shit, Miz is going for the People’s Elbow. Haha! He then picks up the mic and says, AWESOME!

Show ends with Miz standing over Cena.

Good show and build up to WrestleMania. Its unfortunate that Stone Cold’s return didn’t have what The Rock’s did but then again this isn’t the first time Austin has been back.

 

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

One Response to “03-07-11 WWE RAW REVIEW”

  1. Mascara De Fuego Says:

    After posting this I kept thinking about this Cena/Rock thing… can’t really call it a feud if its not going to culminate with a match.

    Basically you take Rock seriously because although he can be jokey as well, his promos always feel legit. Like there is nuts behind his words.

    Whereas Cena always has to be telling jokes and the funny guy that no one can take seriously because he always needs to be the glass clown.

    Its just the different between wresting THEN and wrestling NOW.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: