01-31-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

by

Show starts off with Ricardo Rodriguez coming out to the stage and intro’ing Mariachi’s and Mexican dancers. ADR then pulls in to the arena in a convertible Benz. ADR says us people never listen but he reminds us that he said it was his destiny. Rodriguez is doing a Flavor Flav job repeating the last words Alberto says. He calls Mariachi music REAL music. He says he’s going after…. but before he can finish The Miz comes out with Riley. Miz congratulates Del Rio and says that’s impressive like winning Money in the Bank and cashing it in to be WWE Champion. Miz wants to face Alberto but how Edge was making fun of Del Rio. This is funny.

Riley said Edge called him a poor mans JBL. Alberto isn’t buying this and feels lied to. Miz says he isn’t but that Edge doesn’t repect him because of what he did to Christian. This of course brings out Edge, he says Miz was right he doesn’t like or respect him but that he wouldn’t say it behind his back and to his face. Edge says if he is chosen he will be Alberto because he is the Rated R Superstar, but he already knew that. Haha ADR chooses Edge and gets punched for his choice. Everyone scatters and Del Rio hits Edge’s arm with a guitar and locks in the arm bar. Edge taps as Del Rio wrenches his arm. He finally lets go and gloats as the ring fills with refs.

We’re back from break and we get an email… the GM says we’re having a RAW Rumble match with 7 superstars. The winner will take on the Champion and the rest will be in the elimination chamber match…!? huh? Lawler is one of the participants tonight and the crowd marks out.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino w/Tamina & Kozlov vs. McGillicutty & Harris

– Good take down by Santino on Hennig.

-Quick tag to Kozlov who manhandles Hennig until he goes after his knee.

-Kozlov recovers and makes the tag to Santino.

-Stiff clothesline by Harris to Santino and the tag.

-After the break hot tags to Harris and Kozlov.

-Kozlov head but for a 2 count that Hennig broke up.

-Hennig is dumped to the outside and Santino hits the COBRA for the 1…2…THREEE!!!!

-WOW I am shocked, the tag champs beat Nexus!

Winners: Santino & Kozlov

Randy Orton then runs in an RKO’s Hennig and Harris! The crowd chant “Randy” while he looks down at Harris. Orton then back up like he is getting ready for the punt but Punk comes out to the stage and tells Orton not to do that. Punk keeps trying to get Orton’s attention while he keeps telling him not to do and if he does there will be serious consequences. Orton looks like he is going to back off while he looks at the crowd then PUNTS Orton and runs off through the crowd while Nexus hits the ring! Orton gets up really high into the arena, fuck he booked up there!

Ted DiBiase w/Maryse come out to ring while he cuts a promo on Jerry Lawler and how he should step aside. Ted wants Lawler’s spot tonight. Cole gets involved before Lawler can say anything. Cole says Lawler is a legend and a hall of famer but he’s a scene stealer and there is no way his selfish ass is giving up his spot. Lawler finally gets up and says he isn’t giving up his spot for no one. How he’s been in the WWE for 18 years and never has been in a WrestleMania match so he’s on his own road to WrestleMania starts tonight. He then says if it wasn’t for Cole he would be champion right now and how he can beat the Miz. Ted then takes a shot at Ted but he puts Maryse in front of him ala Randy Savage. Maryse doesn’t like that shit and slaps Ted. Lawler then punches Ted out and we get a “Jerry” chant. Cole is all pissed off with Lawler and keeps reminding him that he cant touch him or he will be fired. They argue back and forth while they show this punch by Lawler, he definitely connected!

After the break we get a visiual of a dark rainy setting. Someone wearing black boots and a black trench coat walks up wooden steps into a hold house and we get the visual of 2-21-11….STING!?! oh fuck!… ok maybe I am jumping the gun here. haha

We go to the ring and the Bella’s are on commentary and yet another fucking week of Bryan not getting a full intro…

United States Champion Daniel Bryan w/Gail Kim vs. Tyson Kidd

-Bella’s talk shit at ringside comparing their situation to the movie Cruel Intentions…?!

-Fast paced match thus far with good exchanges by both.

-Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter but Bryan fights out and locks in the LaBell lock for the tap out.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

After the match the Bella’s hit the ring and the cat fight is on again with Bryan and the refs trying to separate these bitches. Why are they wasting Bryan with this straight up bowl shit!?!?

World Champion Edge vs. WWE Champion The Miz w/Alex Riley

-Neither gets a proper musical intro but get intro’d in the ring. Strange night for proper intros

-Hey look Champion vs. Champion graphics! This is the kind of shit I mark out for.

– Riley gets involved quick pulling Miz out of the ring this costs Edge when Miz hangs his arm over the top rope and then sends him arm first into the steel steps.

-Miz focuses on the arm of Edge hitting a stunner style move to the injured arm.

-Inverted arm bar by Miz but Edge ends up grabbing the ropes.

-Slower paced match thus far, double boot to the face brings both guys down.

-Face drop bulldog by Edge for a 2 count.

-Impaler DDT by Edge .

-Edge goes for the spear but Miz sidesteps and Edge takes the corner post.

-Fucking John Cena is in the luxury box distracting Miz who then gets hit by a spear for the pin.

Winner: Edge

Cole and Riley check on Miz and they are pissed.

Cole and Lawler shill Stone Cold Steve Austin hosting Tough Enough.

Vicki Guerrero comes out to the stage, she’s getting boo’d out of the building. She says Edge is defending the title on Friday in a way that has never done before…. Interesting.

Diva’s Champion Eve & Natalya vs. LayCool

-So we’re suppose to believe that Natalya is ok with the person who won her title last night, enough to tag with her the next night!?

-They cut to footage to LayCool in the back bickering about their match last night, they end up making up and end up fiddling each others brown eyes…. Wait what?!

-Natalya gets the best of McCool who then tags in Layla who cowers in front of Natalya into a ball… she then jumps into McCool’s arms. Haha

-Double underhook suplex by Natalya who then makes the tag to Eve who lands a series of kicks to Layla, then a standing moonsault.

-McCool kicks Eve in the face while she was on the top rope with Layla.

-Diamond Dust by Layla!!!….1..2….THREE!!! Impressive!

Winners: LayCool

Josh in now on commentary with Cole.

The Great Khali w/Runjin & Mark Henry vs. The Uso’s

-Couldn’t they have put this match on Superstars!?

-We get an email before the match… The GM says the Uso’s don’t have a chance so the GM has changed the match to a….dance off. What the fuck man…

-The Uso’s pop lock, most pop they’ve ever gotten.

-Henry pop locks doing the broken robot and Khali just looks… retarded.

-Uso’s jump Khali and Henry but they get beat up.

Winners: no one, really no one wins after this bowlshit.

The mysterious video is shown again. Maybe its just Taker?

The trailer is shown for Triple H’s movie. Quite possibly the worst WWE movie to date. Shit starts off sappy but then goes goofy “kids save the world” comedy. I cant believe shit like this keeps getting made under the WWE banner!!?

7 RAW Rumble Match

-Rules: Winner gets a shot at the Miz at Elimination Chamber. They rest of the guys go into the Elimination Chamber match for a chance to go onto WrestleMania to face the winner of the Title match.

-John Morrison is #1, Sheamus #2.

-Fast paced match by these two to start this Rumble.

-#3 is John Cena. He comes in fast hitting his same ol shit move set on Sheamus before going after Morrison and trying to hit him with an AA that he lands on his feet from and kicks Cena in the back of the head. All three brawl until

-#4 who is CM Punk. Bulldog to Cena by Punk. He then goes on to kick all the guys in the ring. Lariat kick to Cena from Punk. Punk almost has Morrison out but then Morrison almost throws Punk over. In the other corner Sheamus almost has Cena over until Cena hits a belly to bell suplex.

-#5 is T-Truth, he goes from for Cena hitting him with clothelines. Morrison and Truth hang out from the ropes Morrison skins the cat and Truth… tries to. Cena has Punk up in the AA but Punk fights out with a DDT.

-#6 is Jerry Lawler. He goes out and punches everyone. We get a “Jerry” chant. Lawler goes to eliminate Punk but Sheamus makes the save. Sheamus tries to get Lawler over now but he’s holding on for dear life!

-#7 is Randy Orton and Punk hides under the ring! Orton starts to look under the ring and finally finds him, dragging him out and beating on him. Both end up in the ring brawling before Orton eliminates Punk and Truth eliminates ORTON!?!!!

-Orton is pissed at Truth but we go to break.

-We’re back and Lawler and Morrison are focusing on Truth while Cena is getting beat on my Sheamus.

-Cena makes a come back that leads to his stupid You Cant See Me fist drop.

-Cena corners Truth and Morrison and eliminates Truth!

-Morrison and Cena on the ring apron brawling! Sheamus almost goes over trying to clothesline Cena and Morrison!

-Sheamus comes back into the ring clotheslining Lawler.

-Morrison and Sheamus fight and Morrison is hanging by his FEET! He comes back in and almost eliminates Sheamus!

-STF by Cena on Sheamus and he’s tapping, not like it matters… Starship Pain onto Cena! But he missed most of him!

-Lawler almost gets Morrison out but lands on his hands!?

-Flash kick to Cena!

-Sheamus finally bro kicks Morrison out of the match!

-Dropkick by Lawler to Cena, the then gets Cena over the top but he’s hanging on.

-Sheamus hits Lawler and continues to try to rid Cena of the match.

-Sheamus throws Lawler into Cena and Cena is eliminated!!!

-Sheamus goes for the bro kick but Lawler pulls the rope and Sheamus goes over!!!!

Winner: Jerry Lawler!

Cena comes back in the ring and raises the hand of Lawler. Cole is yelling at Lawler that he isn’t going to WrestleMania. Miz and Riley watch from the back as Lawler celebrates.

I like that the WWE Title is not in the Elimination Chamber match this year and the winner of the RAW E.C. match goes onto WrestleMania. I always thought it was dumb to have the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber so close to each other. It always felt like this diluted the Rumble by having the champion having to defend in this match and not focusing on building up the match with the new Rumble winner. This way, it gives Miz another match to build him up before WrestleMania and makes these contenders fight for another chance at main eventing WrestleMania. Now lets hope Smackdown doesn’t put Edge in a Smackdown Elimination Chamber match. Honestly they should just have the ONE chamber match.

By the way the match Vicki was talking about earlier… Ziggler and LayCool vs. Edge & Kelly Kelly for the World Title… fucking stupid.

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