01-20-11 TNA IMPACT! RANT

by

This shit sandwich starts with a recap of the Jarrett’s/Angle bowl shit from last week. They then go to the back where Angle pulls up in some muscle car. He tells the production team (hey its Jimmy Hart) to play his music… so THIS is how they do it before they interrupt the show. Haha He comes out and bitches how his ex-wife who he brought into TNA liked to hang out with Jarrett and how Jarrett is throwing their relationship in his face. Dude starts to get all teary eyed talking about being a great father and husband, how he should have spent more time with that but he was working his ass off for them. Jarrett’s music hits but we get his asshole squad who gets beat down. These fools OVER sell Angle’s punches. Flair and Bischoff then come out and send “cops” to escort Angle up out of here.

Jeff and Karen show up and act sarcastically shocked at the news that Angle was taken out of the building.

Velvet Skye is sure getting a lot of matches lately. This shits a four way between Skye, James, Sarita and Rayne. This got a forward job from me. James win this even though Hebner’s count was really delayed.

Beer Money are pissy about getting jumped last week and are getting another shot at Anderson and RVD… yay.

Shouldn’t they get rid of the Jeff Hardy centric title when he’s not the champion!? Just looks stupid with Anderson carrying it around… actually it just looks stupid, period.

Samoa Joe wants some dude to video tape him… awkward.

Rob Terry and Ric Flair come down to the ring he tries to put over this retard as a pimp. Flair calls out Matt Morgan and this fool comes out, kicks Terry in the face and pins his ass. Still too long of a match… ha! Flair tries to chop Morgan down, the shit don’t work and Abyss jumps Morgan. Morgan fights off Terry and Abyss, then they jump on his ass again, then Morgan fights back then they jump him again. This has gone longer than it needed to. Crap-fest ends with a double choke slam from Terry and Abyss on Morgan.

Tenay and Tazz cut to footage of TNA in Japan with New Japan. Why not do another TNA Global show shot Reaction style!? Stupid not to capitalize on this.

Styles and Kazarian in the back sucking each other off until Kazarian bounces and Amazing Red’s “brother” jumps Styles and tell them THEY are coming… whoopee.

Angle is stalking the outside area.

Ok so Crimson is Red’s “brothers” name.

Good match between Jay Lethal and X Division Champion Kazarian which Kazarian wins with a pin while holding the ropes.

Anderson and RVD in the back, oh hey its Tommy Dreamer too. Blah blah blah about Beer Money and Jeff Hardy.

This bullshit with Karen and Jeff is next and someone mysteriously lets Angle into the building.

After the break the Jarrett’s come out to the ring, I don’t care what people say this is still strange. It’s a fine line these people walk with real life and story line… They paint Karen as a victim, she starts yapping when Angle shows up and suplexes Jeff. Karen and Angle face off and she slaps him. Jeff lands the nut shot (2nd nut show of the night. Flair landed one on Morgan) and starts to beat on Angle while Karen claps and the crowd boos. I hate this angle.

Eliminate the Hate campaign video and of course they have Orlando Jordan say the part of sexual orientation… sigh.

Angle is beating up shit backstage again.

Tommy Dreamer comes out for a match he’s going to lose. Dude leaves WWE to basically do the same job but for TNA. Jeff Hardy beats Dreamer with the Twist of Hate.

The Pope in the back talking to a TNA nobody. Pope wants to use this dudes laptop but dials the dudes phone, he walks out and Pope bounces with the laptop. Ghetto.

Styles and Flair argue about THEY and then Flair “ices” Styles. Flair is proud of himself. Angle breaks up this bro-fest by beating on Styles and choking Flair while he tells him he wants Jarrett in the middle of the ring.

TNA Tag Team Champions Beer Money beat RVD and TNA World Champion Mr. Anderson when Jeff Hardy causes the distraction and Husky Hardy creeps into the ring and hits the Twist of Hate. Ok match for the most part.

Brian Kendrick and Bully Ray have a conversation about life, love and politics in the back until Ray disagrees with Kendrick’s stance on health care. This ends with Ray pushing Kendrick into the lockers ever so gently.

Flair and Jarrett argue in the back and Bischoff tries to keep motherfuckers calm.

Devon comes to the ring, no music. He wants to finish this shit with Ray. Ray comes out and taunts Devon until Kendrick comes down and pushes Ray into the ring. Devon is going to hit Ray with Ray’s wallet chain but TNA security stops him which of course leads to Ray sucker punching Devon. Ray then puts Devon’s head in between a chair and hits the chair with his wallet chain.

We’re back from break, Angle is in the ring and Jarrett is coming out and wasting a lot of time on the stage but then sends the TNA security flunkies out to the ring to get their asses kicked by Angle. Finally the goon squad get the best of Angle and Jarrett joins them. Angle fights back, gets rid of the two security dudes and Angle locks in the rear naked choke. Karen comes down and yells until Immortal fill up the ring to beat on Angle. Abyss is on the stage and has his 2×4 with nails stuck in his back. Crimson then comes out in a suit (black and red of course) and warns they are coming. Angle then fights off ALL of Immortal and locks on an ankle lock on Flair before Immortal pull him out of harms way.

The end.

Too many beat down segments on this shit, its all you can retain and not in a good way.

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