01-17-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

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Show starts off with Vince’s stock MLK footage, always solid to see even Vince give props to Martin Luther King… then asshole John Cena’s music, cause when I think MLK I think… Cena…?

Captain obvious points out that the footage being shown and how he got his ass kicked three weeks ago. He then lists off shit he’s going to do this year which all end with going to WrestleMania. He calls out Punk but gets WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley who are all decked out in suits. Miz says no one wants to see Cena win the WWE Title because its played out. HA! Miz says he’s the most see champion even more than Cena and how he isn’t going to win the Royal Rumble match. Miz brings up that this year the Rumble will have FORTY participants! Damn that’s a lot of fools! Miz tells whoever wins the Rumble best not go after him because they will lose. Cena makes Miz in a not funny way and goes into a bad Rocky Balboa impersonation. He then goes for the cheap pop saying Orton or Lawler should be champion. Cena goes on and on trying to be funny and Miz is not amused. This is dragging… Miz calls Cena corny, no shit man… Cena tells Miz he wont get past the Rumble. Before these dudes even do anything Punk’s Nexus comes out to the stage. Punk tells Miz he doesn’t have to explain or prove himself to Cena and kisses Miz’s ass. Punk states that Cena does have a chance in the Rumble since all of Nexus is in it and their goal is to keep Cena from winning it. He then sends Nexus to the ring and they jump Cena, he tries to fight off but all of a sudden Santino and Kozlov HELP Cena…!?!? Nexus regroup and now all of Nexus heads to the ring and we get an email… the GM bars any Nexus member from ringside and if they get involved they are out of the Rumble… I don’t know why this 17min segment seemed longer than it was. Glad its over.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino w/Tamina & Kozlov vs. The Uso’s

-Good double team by the Uso’s on Santino, keeping him in their corner.

-Santino makes the hot tag even though this crowd is dead.

-Santino is tagged back in and hits the Cobra for the pin.

Winners: Santino & Kozlov

Otunga, Harris and Hennig argue in the back about what the GM said earlier before Punk comes in smiling. He just says “faith”.

Morrison runs into Daniel Bryan who is just getting together with the Bella’s and Morrison thinks to himself… what the fuck man!

John Morrison vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan w/The Bella’s

-While Morrison comes down to the ring they go to a video package on him.

-Shit, I thought this would have been a tag team match! Lets hope its dope!

-Chain wrestling exchange to open the match followed by a good dropkick on Morrison and even though Morrison ends up on the outside we get a stand off by these two.

-Morrison hits a side Russian leg sweep then tries to go for Starship Pain but Bryan moves.

-Both collide in the middle of the ring with high cross bodies.

-Belly to back suplex by Bryan but Morrison rolls through and goes for the Hurricanranna but Bryan rolls him up for a 2 count. DOPE!

-Great quick moves by this two and Bryan tries to get the LaBell lock only to take the ring post to the head, a second rope springboard kick and a running knee for the three count.

-Good shit but would have liked to have seen more and honestly not see Bryan lose but it looks like they are pushing Morrison finally.

-Both shake hands after the match which was cool

Winner: John Morrison

While they shake hands Sheamus comes to the stage and takes credit for Morrison moving up to another level and how he can destroy him. He then says he’s going to win this King sized Rumble.

The WWE won an award for the Stand Up for WWE campaign…

Bella’s are in the back talking about how Morrison is hot. They are fighting to be Bryan’s “first”…!? They make a bet to see who can be his first.

Vicki Guerrero comes out and gives us her signature line. The crowds is booing her to the point where you can barely hear her! Biggest heel on both shows! She intro’s Dolph Ziggler as the new one contender.

Smackdown’s Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero vs. Randy Orton

-Cole points out this is the first time these two have wrestled each other. There were no Spirit Squad matches against Orton?

-Orton takes the advantage in the match first landing a slingshot on Ziggler with the bottom rope.

-Ziggler fights out of the headlock with a stunner like move then hits a dropkick to the leg of Orton which he focuses on after that.

-Ziggler tries to lock in a half Boston crab but Orton fights out of it.

-Orton hits his goofy backbreaker that I don’t like.

-Powerslam by Orton, he then tries to go for this 2nd rope DDT but Ziggler hits the injured leg and hits the Famasser for a 2 count.

-Stiff European uppercut and he goes for the Angle slam but Ziggler locks in the sleeper hold! Orton tries to fight out and finally makes it to the rope.

-Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag but gets hit with an RKO for the pin.

Winner: Randy Orton

Instantly after the match Miz and Riley run out and jump Orton. Orton tries to fight back but gets sent into the steel steps. Miz goes to put clear off the announce table by Lawler gets involved only to get beat up and thrown into the crowd. Miz then takes Orton back first into the ring post. Riley then holds Orton while Miz talks shit and puts the boots dress shoes to him. Orton is then thrown through the ringside barricade! Miz then stands over Orton and says he’s AWESOME!

Punk in the back with Nexus. He keeps saying “faith” over and over. He then goes on sounding like a preacher man. Punk you’re so deep.  They bow their heads.

Maryse vs. Diva’s Champion Natalya

-Cole has Eve and Melina at the announce table since Lawler’s been taken out.

-Rear chin lock from Maryse that Natalya instantly fought out of.

-Discus clothesline by Natalya which leads to the Sharpshooter for the win.

Winner: Natalya

Maryse gets pushed by Maryse after the match and she yells it out on Cole. DiBiase comes down and she give him an ear full. Ted gets on the mic and says he’ll throw anyone over the top rope at the Rumble but then challenges anyone to an over the top rope challenge right now… but then we go to break. This will be Mark Henry or Great Khali… annnd its Mark Henry.

Over the Top Rop Challenge

-The fight for a minute before Henry throws Ted over the top.

Winner: Mark Henry

The ring starts to fill up with mid card guys all trying to throw Henry out. Then all these dudes start their own mini-Royal Rumble. Sheamus then comes in and clips Henry’s leg who was press slamming Zack Ryder. Sheamus then gets a belly to belly suplex over the top rope and Henry is all alone in the ring… until Alberto Del Rio’s music hits and he drives into the arena. ADR says its his destiny to win the biggest Royal Rumble in history and become a champion at WrestleMania.

Derek Bateman does a vignette on some cologne called World Strongest Man that’s made from the sweat of Mark Henry. Henry off screen then reads a warning on this shit. What the fuck was this thing!?!

We get out first By the Numbers video on the Royal Rumble. I love these pieces. I’m a dork for this kind of information.

Next week we get World Champion Edge vs. WWE Champion The Miz!

Cena does the walk in the back while doing asshole things. This motherfucker takes this phone that this dude is talking on and dumps it in his foot. What a cock sucker, I would have donkey punched this dude right in the dick for that shit!

CM Punk vs. John Cena

-Nexus comes out with Punk to the stage and he looks at them all in the eyes before leaving them there and making the walk to the ring. Nexus throws up the fist.

-Punk has a decent scratch under his right eye from this altercation with this fan over the weekend.

-Match starts off fast with Cena hitting his crappy bulldop.

-Cena then sends Punk into the corner before landing a bunch of crappy thrown punches.

-Punk hits a nice baseball slide which send Cena to the outside.

-Nice DDT by Punk.

-Stiff knees by Punk to the back of Cena.

-Same ol shit move set by Cena leading to his knuckle drop.

-He goes for the AA but Punk fights out and hits the leg lariat.

-Stiff knee in the corner and a bulldog by Punk for a 2 count.

-Punk goes for the G2S but Cena turns it into the STF but Punk gets to the ropes.

-Double clothesline in the middle of the ring.

-Cena goes for the AA again but Punk grabs the ropes and ends up hitting a springboard clothesline for a 2 count.

-Anaconda Vice locked in by Punk!!! Cena tries to get to the bottom rope but he’s fading!… He makes the rope…

-Punk kicks Cena off the ropes and he lands on the outside.

-We get battling Lets go Cena/Cena Sucks chants.

-Punk dives to the outside but Cena catches him and sends him back first into the ringpost.

-Cena to the top but is stopped by Punk with a series of kicks to Cena’s head.

-Punk goes for the superplex but Cena headbutts Punk off and lands his shitty leg drop off the top rope for a 2 count!

-Some Batista looking dude comes into the ring and hits Cena?! Punk holds his arms out and this dude hits Punk!? Who the fuck is this dude!? Mini-Batista then hits a Uranage on Cena before Nexus comes in. Punk gets in this dudes face and they have as stare down before this dude takes a knee in front of Punk and Punk puts a Nexus armband on mini-Batista. All of them throw up the fist and the show ends…

Winner: John Cena by DQ

They could have tried a little harder to have this dude NOT look like Batista…

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5 Responses to “01-17-11 WWE RAW REVIEW”

  1. Zank Says:

    Maryse gets pushed by Maryse after the match… awesome 😀

    Somehow I was just watching this RAW until it was over w/o any reaction (besides some Bellas cheers). Even Punks promos didn’t win me over this time, which is rare.
    I like the how Morrison is getting more and more attention every week, but something wasn’t right this week. :/

    If I would depend on this weekly to buy the PPV…. honestly… I wouldn’t. Not even Mason Ryan at the end saved it for me.

    • Great Puma Says:

      It’s funny. I felt the same way about Punk’s promos that night. The two things I popped for most were Morrison and Bryan going counter for counter and CM Punk’s Koji Clutch.

      As far as Punk’s Nexus goes – I just look forward to Sheffield’s return. Will he attack Punk’s Nexus or Wade’s Smaxxus (no, I’m not trying to get that name over)?

      • zank Says:

        Smaxxus as a name is awesome.. please don’t call them by their new name “The Core” 🙂

      • Great Puma Says:

        LOL. Word, Zank. I think of this ‘awesome’ movie with Aaron Eckhart when I think of the Core. Ugh. And yes, I’m using ‘awesome’ as a substitute for crappy. They should have went with “The Empire” or something that at least showed some frakkin’ effort. 😛

  2. Mascara De Fuego Says:

    Sorry about the type-o’s folks, I’m packing for a move and trying to stay on my duties at the same time! 🙂

    I agree with you Zack, after a few good weeks of RAW this one was just “eh” even with the big main event and Morrison getting a continued push.

    Thank’s for pointing out the mystery man’s identity as Mason Ryan who’s the current FCW champion.

    Thanks for following.

    – MDF

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