01-13-11 TNA IMPACT! RANT

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Shit starts with a recap of the pay per view, they focus on Angle/Jarrett, Anderson/Morgan and Anderson winning the TNA World Title. Oh yeah an on a side note, Immortal won all the other titles. Anderson talks all kinds of shit

Jeff Jarrett and Karen Angle Jarrett show up backstage in a limo and they are huggy n shit. This feels awkward man, I guess good for Angle that he would work an angle with these people.

TNA World Champion Mr. Anderson comes out and talks about his time at the WWE and how Vince said he was too “funny”. You know, I have to agree with Vince on this one, this dude does better when he’s being toned down. He goes on about coming to TNA and winning the title. He brings out Morgan and does a 360 on all the shit he talked last week during the sit down and gets all “thanks” on Morgan. Morgan’s kind of pissy but they are cool and he’s going to want a show. He bounces and Bischoff comes down and digs into Anderson and his sap story. Bischoff’s delivery was good here. They do their exchange and now Jeff Hardy is on the screen about his return but then RVD comes it and beats on Jeff but then Matt came in and beat of RVD, Anderson some come out to even things out and finally… the Immortals come out and jump good guys. And how we’re suppose to retain any of this shit is beyond me…

Jeff and Karen are in the arena and Jeff asks her if she’s ready for this. She said she’s been waiting two years for this…. Oh boy.

The Guns cut a promo shot Reaction style in the bad, not bad.

TNA Tag Team Champions Beer Money beat the Motor City Machine Guns. Like I’ve been saying, the only shit that matters in TNA, the tag titles. Another good match by these four.

RVD is a crappy actor now, not that he was Ric Flair but he was better than this. He and Anderson are trying rally up.

Pope comes out and says some shit I didn’t hear because I had to go feed the dogs and I don’t want to pause this because its late enough. Samoa Joe comes out and calls Pope a bitch. They’re going to beat each other up at some point…

Anderson and RVD make a lot of fake beating up noises behind closed doors. Jesus… RVD and Anderson come back and they look fine. Haha

Flair and Bischoff tell Styles to go get better and stop fucking around ATV’s…. oh wait, they didn’t say that. Flair is shitting a brick about what just happened to Beer Money.

They recap the Kurt Angle/Jeff Jarrett saga. Another Jarrett interview with Karen looking like she’s ready to fuck. Jarrett tells her not to lose her cool tonight, he’s not believing this shit. Angle does his own interview in the back, he comes off creepy just smiling and saying he and his ex need to catch up… no really someone call the COPS! …or TMZ… Haha

Jarrett and his “team” come out where JJ retires from MMA then goes to bring out his wife but Angle comes out and cleans out Team JJ and has JJ cornered when Karen comes out. She cuts a promo and is heated and looks a little too real. This isn’t Lita/Matt/Edge kids, this thing is just plain uncomfortable.

After the break Kurt is fucking pissed for reals and throwing shit around. Too real… too damn real…

The Beautiful People argue over Winter before Winter and Love come down to defend the TNA Knockout Tag Team Championship against Tara and TNA Knockout Champion Madison Rayne. Winter uses a version of the rear naked choke to make Tara pass out.

The Hardy’s are in the back behind a fence trying to be all 1998…. Well Matt is. Jeff is being new Jeff.

Morgan beats Abyss by DQ when Tob Terry and Ric Flair beat on Morgan. That’s all I got.

Flair and Bischoff do an Immortal pep talk. Abyss starts gossiping about how “they’re coming”… I’m over this angle already and it just started.

Good lord Matt Hardy does look like he ate Shane Helms! He’s like the Fatty-Taker with this trench coat. All this bullshit about getting into shape and how he’s trying his hardest. Good lord man, this guys out of breath right off the bat in this Hardy’s vs. RVD & Anderson match. Tazz brings up some sap story how Matt was punished in the WWE because Jeff went to TNA… awww. Man, they really picked the wrong time to break up Team 3D, could have been some good matches between the Hardy’s but then again that is all wishful thinking. These dudes cant do what they use to do 10 years ago. Lame story short, Beer Money take out RVD & Anderson as payback when the ref was down setting up for Matt’s Twist of Hate and Jeff’s Swanton.

Beat down #2 consists of Immortal beating up on RVD & Anderson while Bischoff claps in approval on the stage.

Christ this felt like it took forever…

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