Ok here we go with this shit…

Immortals are getting a brow beating for Bischoff and Flair in the back about Dixie Carter serving Hogan and how fucked up this can call get. Rhino comes in wants the contract that Bischoff promised but all get got was thrown out of this meeting.

So its not enough that we got Immortal in the back they come out and bring Jeff Hardy with them. This brings out Morgan and lame story short. Morgan and Anderson have to wrestle for a shot at Hardy again. Shit went on too long.

Brother Ray cuts a promo that he can do this shit and that his partner doesn’t matter. He’s got a fake Devon, so you can add that to the long list of “fake” remakes. Diesel, Razor, Kane, Kurt Angle, etc etc etc.

Tenay mentions Hamada had visa problems so they stripped her and Wilde of the Knockout Tag Titles… “viiiiiisa” issues, riiiiiiiiight. It had nothing to do with releasing her. Tournament starts tonight.

Team 3D vs. Ink Inc. “Devon” throws a lot of phantom kicks. Ray makes his new partner do Devon’s move set by yelling instructions. “Devon” brings a table into the ring but he still gets hit with Ink’s finisher and gets pinned. Ray turns on his second Devon until real Devon makes the save. He has new generic music.

Tara is singing tonight and has Generation ME as backup dances. Great…

Christy is in the back sending pictures of her boobs from her iPhone when Morgan is looking for Anderson.

Tara lip syncs and ME do the typical white guy dances. Tara has a band that is playing as much as she is singing. Of course this leads to Tara and Mickie James fighting and Generation ME fighting with Eric Young. Tenay calls this shit the biggest Knockout feud. James wants a steel cage match tonight. Would surprise me if TNA did give this shit away for free.

Beer Money send out TNA security to beat up on people. I guess it’s the Motor City Machine Guns.

Jarrett is MMA now and is having a challenge tonight.

TNA Security vs. TNA Tag Team Champions Motor City Machine Guns. Gunner and Murphy now have nightsticks. Beer Money come out for commentary. Security gets DQ’d when they use the nightstick. They got tired of getting served in the right. The Guns end the segment beating up security with the nightsticks.

Winter interrupts The Beautiful People and Velvet finally sees her.

Anderson and Morgan bicker. Weren’t they sucking each other off last week?

Beautiful People vs. Sarita & Daffney. Sarita cuts a bad promo on Velvet to start. Daffney gets a good pop from the crowd but she still got beat. TBP move on in this tournament. Sarita talks shit after the match. We don’t need to see Velvet and Sarita feud.

Fuck my DVR has caught up with the commercials so now I have to watch this shit in real time. Well since TNA makes me want to take a shit, this would be a good time to pause it…

The Undertakers druids bring a white casket to the ring… oh wait I meant The Pope. A dancing choir comes out to dance around the casket… what the fuck is going on!? The Pope talks from the beyond making it look like this casket is cutting a promo. Jesus this is stupid its TNA turning him into Taker.

Abyss and Styles are all grumpy face in the back about the TV title.

James cuts a promo in the back about Tara and the steel cage match while you hear Bischoff in the back ground yelling.

Abyss vs. TNA TV Champion Doug Williams. Abyss loses. Waist of the talents of Williams with this shit. Styles attacks afterwards and hits the Styles Clash on the stage.

They keep calling Jarrett an MMA specialist… sigh.

Jarrett is having a Double J MMA challenge, if anyone makes him tap he’ll give them 100k. Jeff makes the plant tap.

Mickie James vs. Tara in a Steel Cage. These two bitches are beating the shit out of each other. Sounds like this match is much better than the ppv match. This match obviously bleeds into Reaction. I’m just waiting for the outcome of this match and I’m bouncing. Tara looks to have injured her elbow. MICKIE WITH THE THESZ PRESS OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!! 1…2…THREEE!!! That looked dangerous as fuck.

Well that match was decent but not enough to make up for 2 hours of IMPACT!


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