11-02-10 WWE NXT SEASON 3 REVIEW

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We get the opening credits to the Goldust/Aksana wedding, looks like an epic. Drink up folks because its going to be an interesting NXT…

Striker in the ring and as usual he intro’s the rookies. Cole says weddings are the highest cause for divorces or some shit like that. Josh gives him legit silence. Haha. Aksana is excused from the competition since she is dead last and cant win immunity. Tonight’s challenge? A kissing contest! Finally something pervy… annnnd here is Hornswoggle… thanks for killing this dude. Ugh. Hornswoggle gets to kiss them and tell Striker if he gets a boner.

Kaitlyn goes first, he grabs her head like he was eating her.

Maxine is next, she paint brushes him away and said she isn’t kissing little bastard or Striker. She grabs him from the goatee and tells him to go. Maxine finally gets heat (good heat).

Hornswoggle leaves and then on his way up to the stage Dashing Cody Rhodes comes out all dressed up like he’s gonna roofie these chicks. He’s there for his brothers wedding. Ha!

Kaitlyn has a redo, Dashing looks at himself first in the mirror and puts on lip balm! Haha She kisses him once which was tame, so she does it again much harder.

Maxine is next and he sprays breath spray around them, in his mouth and in hers! Haha she forces Cody to kiss her hand.

Naomi isn’t having this shit especially since he’s kissed Maxine and Kaitlyn. Cody’s shit don’t stink and told her she’s got too much baggage in that ass.

AJ goes and Cody starts to file her nails. Haha! He says he’s rooting for her then goes for the kiss. She then attacks Cody to which they fall over!

Needless to say AJ wins this… and Cody saved this segment.

Cole says AJ is the worst actor. This fool is wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. Christ.

Primo in the back, he stops AJ and tells her he was jealous of Cody and her kissing. She wants to tell Primo something in private but they walk into Dusty Rhodes with the Bella’s, they have to sell that they are into this fat fuck. Love you Dusty but come on. 😉

The only good thing about commercials on NXT? No election commercials… oh god, let me not jinx this!

Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly

God damn Kelly Kelly is the shit, that’s on some Kristy Kreme shit right there. Cole and Josh argue about Taylor Swift..?! Ok for a Diva’s match, better than I would have suspected and better than the Diva shit on RAW.

Winner: Kelly Kelly

AJ and Primo still looking for a place to talk when they walk in on Maxine and Hornswoggle making out!? She tries to defend herself, saying he was choking and she was helping. This is a strange night.

Striker in the ring after the break, he’s in the ring with the rookies, a big table and a lot of wrapped gifts. It’s the wedding gift scramble. There’s a flag in one of the boxes, winner finds it. Striker keeps laughing at shit Cole says in his ear. Kaitlyn wins. These chicks are being goofy and throwing boxes while Josh tries to put over Stand Up for WWE.

So this Stand Up for WWE video is next with the 2nd generation wrestlers… THIS is why you need to leave names alone like Hennig McGillicutty… crazy to see these pictures of them as kids with their parents. God I’m old. Cole says family focus is what standing up for WWE is all about!? Really, I thought it was Linda trying to be a senator..

We are back from break and they are setting up for the wedding.

AJ finally corners Primo she says the box behind her is moving. Ziggler and Kaitlyn are making out! Vicki sees it and is heading to the back quick!!! They are trying to talk AJ and Primo that it was nothing when Vicki shows up and pushes Kaitlyn back before she takes the wedding cake and dumps it all over Vicki…

Here is the wedding party… Cody comes out first and by himself. Cole said the decorator is Johnny Ace, man I guess they really don’t give a fuck on this show anymore. The American Dream then makes his way down to the ring followed by Hornswoggle as the ring bearer. Josh says he and Cole are like the Wedding Crashers, oh god… Goldust then comes out in a tux and of course with face paint and the Million Dollar Championship. Josh straight up says this is a FAKE wedding! Haha oh shit they really don’t give a fuck!!! Wow Josh and Cole must be supporting Pro 19 cause they cant stop laughing. Crazy to see all of the Rhodes in the ring! Aksana then comes out in a gold, mini skirt wedding dress. Cole says the prettiest bride was his wife cause he’s trying to get bonus points at home since he hasn’t been home in a while! Haha VINTAGE COLE!  Goldust goes into his vows and mentions how bizarre and unconventional their pairing is. Aksana thanks Goldust and goes into a “USA!” chant. The minister who sounds drunk says to speak now or hold your peace. The minister says he objects because everyone has a price. DiBiase comes out with Maryse. He says now that the wedding is off, Aksana is going to get deported. What did Ted call this detective, some sort of dick reference name!? Ted says Goldust can save this wedding as long as he can get his belt back. Dusty gets on the mic and says he suspected some shit was going to happen so get found a minister of his own… THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN Ted DiBiase! He comes down to the ring and Teddy is not too happy about this shit. TMDM says he’s doing this because the look on Teddy’s face is priceless and does his signature laugh. TMDM then says if Goldust takes Aksana, he says yes. Aksana says yes as well. TMDM then pronounces them man and wife, and to kiss her. Dusty then kisses her! Haha Goldust is about to kiss her and Aksana slaps the shit out of him and bounces with a shit eating grin. Cole says now Goldust has to go back on the internet and if you follow Goldust on Twitter, you know what the fuck Cole is talking about! Haha Josh calls it “the slap hear round the internet”

Striker then brings all the rookies to ringside and we’re getting an elimination right now… Naomi is immune and the loser for the night is… MAXINE! What a bummer! She couldn’t wrestle for shit but she was part Cuban so I had to root. She says she will be back and will reach where she belongs and thanks everyone. She smiles and walks off.

Four more weeks and Josh calls this the Best. Internet. Show. Ever.

Holy shit that show turned into some funny shit from being a car wreck. Don’t get me wrong, it was but at least it was humorous. Man, maybe the WWE is onto something here with this “off the cuff” type show!? I know, this sounds nuts but hear me out! Maybe this could work and I don’t mean on RAW or Smackdown but in an offbeat way, it kind of gives us who are tired of the same song and dance something to watch… think about it, we’ll revisit this later.

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