Show starts off with John Cena coming out to the ring to the usual mixed crowd. Apparently we get smiley face Cena tonight. He sucks up to the crowd then makes some shit about the crowd chanting “never give up” last week. Yeah, I didn’t hear that shit either. He brings up what the deal was and what it entails which is taking orders from Barrett or be fired and how he doesn’t know what he would do without the WWE. He then tells the crowd that he’ll probably do shit that no one likes. And a boring chant breaks out until The Miz and Alex Riley come out to the ring. Miz makes fun of Cena not wanting to lose the fans support. Miz then announces he is the captain of Team RAW, he then offers Cena a spot on his team. Cena thinks it’s a good idea but doesn’t like Miz as captain and says he wants to be captain. This brings out Wade Barrett who says he doesn’t care about RAW or Smackdown, just the WWE Title and how Cena is going to be in his corner and that is it. Cena tries to argue but Wade isn’t having that shit. Alex Riley tries to chime in and says that Cena should be in his corner since if he does win Miz can cash in that night. Miz is pissed because he just gave away the element of surprise. Of course we get a fucking email from the GM and the crowd boos. The GM says it wants to beat Smackdown at the ppv. There will be a match to determine the team captain Miz vs. Cena no matter what Wade says since the GM is in more control than Cena. Miz gets in the face of Wade which leads to Miz and Riley beat on him while Cena watches until Wade calls him over. Cena then cleans house and lands an FU on Riley to end the segment… oh wait Wade is up in Cena’s face for not acting faster to save him.


Ted DiBiase and Maryse in the ring while Ted’s new shitty ass music is playing in the background. They go to footage of last week with Goldust jacking the MDB.


*To determine the first person on Team RAW*

R-Truth w/Eve vs. Ted DiBiase w/Maryse


Cole shits on Truth’s song and is all butt hurt for DiBiase getting his belt jacked. Match is fast paced going back and forth. DiBiase is doing a sit-down spinbuster, I didn’t hate it. Goldust’s music hits, he comes out to the stage with the belt and Aksana. Truth tries to roll up Ted but he kicks up, he then hits his spinning flying forearm for the pin and the win. Eve dance, Truth celebrates and Goldust feels up his own chest.

Winner: R-Truth


*To determine the 2nd member of Team RAW*

John Morrison vs. Tyson Kidd


Cole said this was supposed to be a triple threat with David Hart Smith involved but he was nowhere to be found before the match? Solid kick from Kidd to Morrison who was going to drive to the outside but got kicked in the head instead. Kidd with another solid spot doing a side Russian legsweep when Morrison was doing to spring himself off the ropes for a kick. Great series of exchanges and near pins before Morrison hits a backflip Uranage for the pin. Good shit but too short.

Winner: John Morrison


Nexus in the back with Harris and McGillicutty. Otunga makes it sound like Wade promised them something for helping him out at the ppv but the season 2 rookies aren’t talking. Wade then walks in all pissed off with people wanting him to talk to him with questions. He sends off Harris and Hennig before questioning Otunga about his little talk with Cena. He then tells Otunga he is facing Orton tonight but Otunga talks his way out of it which gets Gabriel the match with Slater and Otunga in his corner.


*To determine the 3rd member of Team RAW*

Santino w/Kozlov vs. Zack Ryder


No seriously, one of these two dudes will be on the RAW team? Maybe if you fucking spent time building these dudes and not treating them like assholes. STRONG Santino chant. HOLY SHIT! Santino hits the Cobra for the pin and the win!!! Tamina then comes in and jumps in the arms of Santino. They “touch cobras” hug it out and Santino has yet another love interest, well again. Crowd was WAY into Santino.

Winner: Santino


WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. Justin Gabriel w/Nexus


Why is Orton no-selling Gabriel’s leg kicks, god dammit. Orton takes control fast and it ends out on the floor. Otunga throws a clothesline but Orton ducks. This gets Slater and Otunga booted from ringside. He come back from break and Orton is finally selling Gabriel’s leg kicks but only before he lands a standing dropkick to take the advantage back in the match. Gabriel finally fights back and lands an over the top rope heelo. Gabriel is looking pretty solid here against Orton, lands a series of moves on the Champion. Orton gets a “lets go Orton” chant but nothing near as strong as Santino’s chant earlier. Orton with a sloppy belly to belly. Gabriel heads to the top, Orton is rolling but Gabriel STILL lands part of the 450 splash! Orton favors his arm but still lands the RKO for the win. Orton doesn’t flip out (legit) like he would normally, which means he’ll probably lose his shit in the back. Don’t future endeavor Gabriel cause Orton couldn’t get the fuck out of the way fast enough, that was all his fault.

Winner: Randy Orton


Sheamus does the walk, he gets a rematch against Bryan… fuck.


*To determine the 4th member of Team RAW*

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus


Cole talks shit about Bryan but then goes “but seriously” before talking about Bryan having an uphill battle against Sheamus. so you’re just playing when you talk shit about Bryan? Strong Daniel Bryan chant when Bryan starts fast on Sheamus, teasing the LaBell lock. They go to the outside momentarily which Bryan gets the best of Sheamus with a dropkick onto Sheamus who then hits his back on the ring post. They’re back in the ring when Sheamus finally takes the advantage with a back breaker onto his knee. Bryan finally fights back and while Sheamus is on his knees, Bryan hits a serious of stiff kicks to the his chest before landing the stiffest one to the head! 1….2…TWO and a HALF! Bryan with gets a mission drop kick while the chant starts up again. This doesn’t last long when Sheamus hits a double axe handle to Bryan. Sheamus then picks him up for the Celtic Cross but Bryan rolls thru!!! 1…2….TWO! Broh kick from Sheamus…1…2….3… fuck. Well at least he got a fucking match this week and not the bullshit of last week. Still sucks donkey balls.

Winner: Sheamus


Cena in the back, oh its sad Cena now. Truth comes in and looks like he’s going to have a heart to heart. He says Cena joining Nexus isn’t sitting well with the locker room cause if Wade gives the call, he has to take out any of them. Truth says there is a way out of this and that’s for Cena to just quit. Yeah bitch, quit!


Sappy video package on how the WWE supports the troops. This shit starts with a picture of Hulk Hogan…!? They brag about how they’ve come out to the Middle East the past eight years. I thought word on the street is that this shit isn’t happening this year?! Unless this is just a Linda McMahon fed package. Looks like that is what it is, no mention of going back this year.


*To determine the 5th member of Team RAW*

Evan Bourne vs. CM Punk!


Its official CM Punk is on RAW, minus the SES and the beard… he almost looks odd without the beard. Oh and this fool shaved his chest too! Haha. Bourne tries to get the advantage quick with a Hurricanrana on the outside but Punk sends him head first into the guard railing. Bourne gets the advantage and goes for the Shooting Star but Punk sweeps the legs and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the win. After the match Punk clotheslines Bourne to the outside and sends him to the guard barricade a few times before yelling something about ECW days. He then hits the snake eyes into the steel post. Punk then locks in the Anaconda Vise at ringside while the refs try to pull him off. Punk yells “nothing personal”. He finally lets go and chases the refs off. Good shit for Punk here, not so much for Bourne.

Winner: CM Punk


Punk’s actions are recapped to further put him over.


Natalya is in the ring who’s talking shit about LayCool. She’s saying how she is going to win the Title at the ppv when LayCool interrupts her which their typical shit. They make jokes about Natalya being in HD even though she’s got her dads facial hair. They then show Nattie with her dad’s beard on the screen. She smiles this shit off and makes fun of them for the head set shit from last week. She insults them but they don’t get it. They banter about some shit before they finally leave. The Diva’s show up on the stage keeping LayCool from taking off. They back up into the ring but the Diva’s catch them, Layla is about to get caught in the Sharpshooter when McCool pulls her out and they take off thru the crowd while the Diva’s watch in the ring.


*For the leadership spot on Team RAW*

The Miz vs. John Cena


Cole goes off about Miz being at some kids choice awards where is calls Justin Beiber a “rap star”. Fuck, if that’s the case this is where I tap out of hip hop folks… Anyhow… could this finally be where Miz gets a solid victory on Cena!? The first exchange goes to Cena, Miz goes to the outside but Cena follows. This leads to Riley clotheslining Cena. So Cole says this match is no DQ?? Since when!? We come back from break and Miz has the advantage on Cena. Cena then gets dumped on the outside and Riley beats on Cena some more. Miz then comes out and lands Cena’s head onto the table. Miz sets up for the SCF but Cena fights it off and almost gets the FU when Miz throws him off the table and Cena takes the guard railing to the side. Cena fights back and bounces Miz’s head off the rings steps. He then takes Riley out but Miz is back and sends Cena into the exposed guard rail. They fight back into the ring where Cena goes into his same ol’ shit move set, setting up that stupid you cant see me punch. Miz comes up quick with a kick to the head for a quick 2 count. Miz then hits the backbreaker then neckbreaker combo. Riley then slips Miz the briefcase, he sets up to hit him but misses and Cena locks in the STF. Miz trying to get to the ropes… Riley is now in and HE gets the STF. Hennig and Harris attack Cena! Spinning neckbreaker from Hennig, back splash from Harris… Miz covers….1…2..THREE! Miz is the captain! Hennig and Harris are back in the ring they creep up behind Cena and Cena attacks! Wade then comes in and stops Cena. Wade almost gets punched by Cena when he was stopping him! Cena gets in the face of Wade when we get a fucking email… the GM says if Hennig and Harris want to get involved in matches then they will compete next week in a tag match against Cena and Orton. Wade then gets on the mic and add his own spin. He says if Cena loses he will add Harris and Hennig to the Nexus. Wade then says he is sure that Cena will do the right thing. Wade says that he bets Cena would like to kick his ass but he aint gonna do shit. Cena is flipping out like he’s going to something. Wade says he aint doing shit cause Cena is scared and a coward. Cena gets face to face with Wade but backs down. Wade says he’s embarrass Cena again like at Hell in a Cell. Wade then turns his back to Cena and the crowd is egging Cena on. Cena looks like he’s going to but keeps backing down… bitch I thought you said you never backed down, you lied to the kids fucker. Haha. Wade then calls Cena a disgrace. Cena then puts on his sad Cena face, and then is conflicted if he should walk out. He finally walks out but Wade tells him to stop. Wade then says (and does) the you cant see me hand thingy. Haha. Cena pouty faces up the ramp while Wade smiles away and the show is over.





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