10-04-10 WWE RAW REVIEW (guest Johnny Knoxville)

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The show starts right up with the Nexus coming down to the ring, they are all wearing Kool Aid smiles. Wade gets on the mic first, he says before they bring out the new member they have something they have to address. He identified who those assailants were, Harris and McGillicutty who are NOT part of the Nexus nor does he know these people. Wade is then pissed how Nexus could have fucked this all up but he’ll deal with later cause its celebration time! He then intro’s Cena who comes out to no music all sad faced n shit. Wade brings up what brought them to this moment and how this is the best thing to ever happen to him. Tarver brings up being clowned by Cena but the joke is on him now. Tarver has a gift and its an N armband. Cena takes it and mad dogs Tarver. Cena then takes off his own armband to boos from the crowd and reluctantly puts it on. Slater said the transition will be hard but they will all be here for him. He then gives Cena an “official” statement to read. He doesn’t want to read (cause he cant?) but Wade tells him he has to. He starts to read which states he is part of the Nexus and any of their enemies are his. How his fans should stand with him because your either Nexus or against us. Wade then announces Cena is in a tag match against Bourne and Henry and Cena gets to choose his partner. He gets in Tarver’s face again which is his choice. Wade said the match is right now!

John Cena & Michael Tarver vs. Evan Bourne & Mark Henry

Cena starts the match by offering his hand to Evan who ends up shaking it. Tarver yells at him to fight not shake hands, so Cena tags Tarver. Tarver spends most of the time in the ring while Henry and Bourne keep him cornered. Cena reaches for the tag but doesn’t make a huge effort to. Tarver gets close to a tag but Cena pulls away. Tarver gets close again and Cena pulls out a pen and starts signing autographs!? Henry then hits the World Strongest Slam and pins Tarver.

Winner: Mark Henry & Evan Bourne

Cena gets on the mic after and makes a statement of his own, he says he plans one doing one thing while a member of Nexus, destroying it from the inside! He then kicks Tarver out of the ring. Cena then follows Tarver to the outside and clotheslines the shit out of him. Where the fuck is Nexus!? Cena then pulls the steel steps apart and SLAMS Tarver on the steel steps! Come on Nexus, get your asses out there! The crowd chants one more time and Cena listens and SLAMS Tarver again on the steps. He then rolls Tarver into the ring, follows him in and clips his leg and puts Tarver in the STF. Tarver screams in pain until we get an email!… the GM says that if Cena lost he had to join the Nexus. Which he did and because he is a member he must take direction from Barrett and if he doesn’t, even though the GM wouldn’t like doing it he would have to FIRE Cena for violating the terms of the match. BAH! Sad faced Cena is back and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He takes a knee while the crowd chants for his ass. Sad face then hits the bricks. The crowd is chanting some shit but I cant make it out.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox

No intros for either chick, they just come back from break and into the match. Natalya makes SHORT work of her with the Sharpshooter.

Winner: Natalya

We come back from break and Knoxville is in the back with the Melina and Gail Kim. Ryder comes in by he gets SLAMMED by that big ass hand from the commercial.

Cena is in the back looking at his new arm band when Josh comes in and asks him about either being Nexus or being fired. He said he cant be in the WWE. he then chases Harris and McGillicutty into the Nexus locker room. Wade stops him and says he saw what he did to Tarver and he has big plans for Cena.

Its Rock-Tober on WWE Classics on Demand… god damn do I miss that motherfucker!

We are back from break and United States Champion Daniel Bryan in the ring, no intro!? What the fuck dude!?

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Are you fucking kidding me with this fucking match!? Why is he taking on Sheamus right now, god damn you WWE! Needless today Sheamus comes out and pounds the shit out of Bryan so much the ref DQ’s his ass! Sheamus then hits the Razors Edge High Cross on Bryan… fucking stupid yo, they could have put anyone else in there except your US Champion!

Winner: Sheamus

Edge does the walk to the ring, he has to apologize to a laptop tonight… sigh.

The laptop podium is now in the ring with Michael Cole. Cole reads that the GM will not be communicating via that voice anymore but through Cole again. He then throws to the footage of last week where Edge flips out and beat the shit out of the laptop. Cole then reads that two things are going to happen, Edge will apologize and then he will make a huge announcement about the WWE Championship. Edge then comes out to the ring. Cole offers his hand but Edge isn’t shaking it. Edge says he isn’t apologizing and said he is on his crusade against things that are stupid, like the laptop and Cole who’s been stupid since 1997. He said he would rather listen to a recording of JR than Cole! Ha. He then says he’ll have some real attitude when he wins the WWE Title. An email comes in and Cole smiles, he says they are having a 20 battle royal and the winner gets Orton at Bragging Rights. Cole then reads that Edge isn’t in the battle royal because he has been TRADED to Smackdown! Thank fucking god! The crowd then chants SPEAR, SPEAR, SPEAR! Edge then says he’s thankful he doesn’t have to listen to this tool (Cole) and the stupid laptop. Cole is all pissed off because he is the official voice of the WWE and he deserves respect. Edge taughts beating up Cole until the Miz’s music hits. He comes out with Alex Riley. Miz says he wont do shit to Cole because he is the visionary who realized how awesome he was before anyone else. Ha! Cole takes off while Miz tells him everything will be ok. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge says, you were a trench coat to the ring, check. One name, check. Money in the Bank, check. And Edge was using “Awesome” while Miz was still in high school popping zits! Ha. Miz they are nothing alike and Edge says that’s correct because he’s been WWE Champion. He then runs down all the things he’s done on RAW and how he’s never seen Miz talk to a girl, unless he counts Riley. Riley then calls Miz the future and not to talk to him that way. Edge then says Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan. The crowd then chimes in with “you tapped out”. Miz says that at the ppv he is going to either be wrestling for the title or leading Team RAW to victory so Edge can go off to SyFy and tell all of his new buddies that the Miz is awesome! Edge then calls Miz the WWE’s biggest jackass and then attacks Riley then Miz, sending Miz head first into the GM podium!! The laptop falls to the mat but Edge kicks it to the side while he sets up for the spear on Riley… He then hits that fucker with a Spear but then takes the SCF from Miz!!! Miz then looks down on Edge and says “have fun on Smackdown”. He poses and we are out of this segment.

Cena in the back with Nexus. Wade says Cena did him a favor by beating up on Tarver since he’s been looking to get rid of him for a while. He likes that about Cena. Wade wants Cena to help him win the battle royal tonight. Otunga says that if for some reason Wade gets eliminated, Cena has to help them win. Wade didn’t like that shit, shuts Otunga up and tells Cena to do what he is told or his ass is fired.

The Bella’s vs. LayCool

Oh Christ LayCool are mic’d. fuck they are talking through the match too. This cant be safe. The Bella’s do the switch and the Bella rolls up McCool for the pin. Painful.

Winners: The Bella’s

Knoxville in the back with Maryse, she thinks he sent the letters to Maryse. He said it isn’t then DiBiase comes out and he gets knocked out by the big ass hand! Maryse is pissed but then she gets knocked down by the big ass hand.

Johnny Knoxville comes down to the ring to cheers. People love a jackass. He shills the movie and tries to take off but its too late DiBiase and Maryse come out to the ring. Knoxville makes fun of DiBiase just to get bitch slapped and locked in the Million Dollar Dream. All of a sudden we get more from the stalker, all of a sudden GOLDUST is behind behind Ted and hits his spinning suplex on him!!!! FUCK YEAH PUSH GOLDUST!!! Goldust then says he doesn’t want Ted, he doesn’t want Maryse either, he wants the Million Dollar Title!!!!! YES! He’s making love to the title! Hahah!!! Finally they use Goldust again, this is good shit!

They remind us that NXT is tomorrow night on WWE.com. Lets see if this shit works!

Sad face Cena is in the back looking at his arm band again when Otunga comes in. He tells Cena that Nexus isn’t all back and how Wade can be a bit demanding. He says its not the end and if he ever needs to talk, he is there for him… no homo.

They recap what happened to Jericho last week. Fuck man is there going to be ANY matches tonight?!!? I would fucking be pissed to be there live and just see a bunch of jibber jabber.

20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal for the #1 Contender spot

Participants: Morrison, Truth, Santino, Kozlov, Sheamus, Cena’s (his music hits but stops and Nexus comes out with Cena trailing behind), Miz, Regal, DiBiase, Kidd, Smith, Primo, Young, Henry, Bourne, Ryder. Bourne is out first like a bitch, then Smith. Two for Sheamus so far. Cena gets rid of Regal. Miz gets rid of Santino. Henry throws Ryder over, then Primo. Henry goes to throw over Wade but Cena makes the save! Nexus beat up on Henry and dump him over. Nexus get in Cena’s face and Cena throws over Otunga! Cena yells he’s not you meaning the agreement was to help Wade only. They argue while the rest of the locker room fights on and we go to commercial. We are back and the herd has been thinned out. Wade got rid of Kozlov during the break and Gabriel and Slater got rid of Young. Cena keeps fighting people off of Wade, guarding him in the corner. Morrison clotheslines Slater over the top rope. Wade in trouble while Cena was in trouble but Cena fights DiBiase off to help Barrett. Morrison now eliminates Kidd. Morrison eliminates MIZ! Truth kicks over Gabriel. DiBiase throws over Truth. Wade throws over DiBiase. Its Morrison, Sheamus, Cena and Barrett! Morrison eliminates himself when kicking Barrett on the ring apron. Cena is beating on Sheamus before Sheamus lands the back breaker on him. Sheamus gets eliminated by Cena!!! Its Barrett and Cena left! The crowd is going ape shit but Wade gives the order for Cena to go. The crowd is losing their shit! Cena thinks about it while he stares at Barrett and gets in his face but reluctantly goes over the top rope onto the apron, pauses then hits the floor!

Winner: Wade Barrett is the #1 Contender!

Randy Orton’s music then hits and the champion comes out to the ring, they circle while they stare. Orton holds up the title while they are face to face and the show is over.

I have to say although there was barely ANY matches tonight it was an exciting show working off the Cena/Nexus angle, sending Edge to Smackdown, Goldust going after the Million Dollar Belt and Barrett becoming #1 contender. Good shit tonight, hate that there wasn’t a lot of matches but good shit none the less.

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One Response to “10-04-10 WWE RAW REVIEW (guest Johnny Knoxville)”

  1. Great Puma Says:

    “Sad face Cena”. LOL!

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