The Miz comes out with Alex Riley. Miz cuts a promo on Bryan before Bryan comes out to Flight of the Valkyre. Bryan’s partner is John Morrison which Miz isn’t happy about.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan & John Morrison vs. Miz & Alex Riley

Miz and Riley keep Morrison cornered in the early going of the match. Bryan finally makes the hot tag which leads him to dropkick Miz in the corner then try to lock in the LaBell lock but Miz shoves Bryan into Morrison in the corner which leads to Miz hitting the SCF on Miz for the win. After the match Miz, Bryan and Morrison brawl. This of course leads to an email from the GM who says at HIAC ppv, Bryan will defend the title against Morrison AND Miz in a triple threat Submissions Count Anywhere match.

Winners: Miz & Riley

Diva’s Battle Royal to become the #1 Contender for the title.

LayCool come out before the match for commentary, they talk shit the whole time. Shit is annoying. Lawler tells them to pay attention to the match, how is Lawler the voice of reason in a Diva’s match!?!? Did the Bella’s just shake their ass on someone’s head!? Last three are Natalya, Fox and Jillian. Natalya wins by eliminating Fox.

Winner: Natalya.

Edge is doing the Cutting Edge and the guest is… the laptop…!?

Maryse in the back bitching about the Battle Royal to Ted who’s still pissed about their loss last week. There’s a knock and a note is left outside the door that says next week you will be mine in French. She marches off pissy and still no one cares about this shit.

Sheamus comes out to the ring, he’s talking about some Irish folklore story and how some prince won Ireland. He said HE himself would cut off his own hand for the WWE Title. He then does the whole open challenge thing and he gets… a commercial break. We come back and no one has come out yet so he starts yelling. He finally gets The Great Khali…oh no look out Sheamus…. sigh.

Sheamus vs. The Great Khali w/Runjin

Khali has the advantage for a moment before Sheamus goes apeshit and fucks up Khali at ringside and gets himself DQ’d for throwing chairs at Khali. He lands a couple of brogue kicks to Khali’s head to end the segment. Dude’s chest is blown up from a chop Khali landed before he got served.

Winner: Great Khali via DQ

The Cutting Edge

Edge comes out to the ring and the laptop podium is in the ring. ha. Apparently the laptop will “talk” with a computerized voice. Edge asks why the GM is a coward, which the GM who sounds like Stephen Hawkings says something stupid. They argue back and forth until Edge finally realizes he’s fucking arguing with a computer. The GM sets up a match with Edge and…. Ugh. John Cena. Really? Like we haven’t seen THIS match enough yet, fuck come on…

Edge vs. John Cena

Nexus is in the back watching The Event… I mean this match. Strong “lets go Cena, lets go Edge” chants. Lawler and Cole build up Barrett vs. Cena and the stipulations of their match. The only outcome that makes sense is to turn Cena Nexus but keep him face in the group for a while similar to when HBK had to do the dirty work for JBL. But ultimately I think its time this dude goes heel. Typical match for both, Edge hits the Spear and pins Cena even though his foot was under the ropes. The GM robot chimes in and restarts the match. Cena gets the STF on shortly after and Edge taps… ugh. After the match Edge looks pissed. He then slowly makes his way to the laptop. The robot GM makes jokes and Edge SNAPS and finally fucks up the Apple laptop, he takes a chair to it, he’s punching it and bashing it on his head!!!! Haha The laptop pleads for Cole to help before it dies. Haha. Those pieces of shit are expensive but worth the visual.

Winner: John Cena

Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater w/Nexus vs. Evan Bourne & Mark Henry

For the most part Gabriel and Slater dominate the match. Gabriel goes for the 450 but Bourne misses, Evan then hits the Shooting Star Press! Evan goes for the pin but Slater is in and Gabriel pins Bourne. Nexus then jump Henry and Bourne after the match. Barrett then hits the Fireman’s Carry Slam to set up for Gabriel’s 450. Wade gets on the mic afterwards as Nexus lines up. He says that at the ppv Cena will not be against us and will be property of Nexus and how having Cena will raise the Nexus up. Otunga says they will invade Smackdown on Friday. Tarver says the bad news is.. they are the bad news and that no one can stop them.

Winner: Nexus

WWE Tag Team Champions Dashing Cody Rhodes and that other guy do the walk.

WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre vs. The Harts

Typical match but fast paced. During the match Smith hit an angle slam on Cody. Cody ends up hitting the Cross Roads on Smith when Drew knocks Kidd off the ropes when they were going for the Hart Attack causing Kidd to hit Smith. Kidd and Smith of course then begin to argue after the match like they are breaking them up. Typical tag team bullshit from the WWE. fuck.

Winner: Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre

Cena is in the back when Truth walks in. These fools act like homies. They talk about Cena’s match at the ppv and how he ain’t gonna lose. Cena said he’s going to show up on Smackdown just like the Nexus.

Chris Jericho vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton

Jericho gets on the mic before the match and says he will win the match and be the #1 contender. Jericho calls himself the Viper Killer and how Orton will join the list of people defeated by Jericho. He goes down the long list of people so much so that they end up going to commercial. This will be funny if he is still listing people when they come back from break… AND HE IS! HAHA fucking classic! God damn I’m going to miss this fucker. Orton’s music interrupts Jericho’s list, bullshit! I wanted to see how long he could go for. During the back and forth match Sheamus comes out to watch from the ramp way. Great counters by Jericho, avoiding the RKO. Orton went for his horizontal DDT in the ropes but Jericho turns it into the Walls of Jericho! Orton turns over to break it which leads Jericho to still get the horizontal DDT’d. Orton is setting up for the RKO but Sheamus is in causing the DQ. Orton goes to punt Sheamus but ends up getting the Codebreaker! Jericho then brings in a chair, he sets up to hit Orton but he avoids it and ends up RKO’ing Jericho. The fans chant for the punt, Orton is set up for it and punts Jericho’s head off!!! Orton stands over Jericho while looking at Sheamus who looks like he just shit himself. The medics are out and checking on Jericho while Orton and Sheamus still stare at each other.

Winner: Chris Jericho by DQ

Well, I hope this Jericho leave of absence doesn’t last too long.

Smackdown moves to SyFy my friends, don’t forget to redo your DVR settings!

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