09-20-10 WWE RAW REVIEW

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WWE Champion Randy Orton comes out to celebrate which was quickly stopped by Sheamus bitching about losing the title last night. He says Orton has never beaten him one on one. Orton calls Sheamus pathetic and threatens him with a punt. Sheamus clowns Orton’s moves in the ring where he stomps the mat. Haha Soon enough the GM emails and sets up Orton vs. Sheamus in Hell in the Cell. Sheamus is excited but wants his title before he leaves. Orton said he would RKO his own grandmother before doing that shit. Orton then gives Sheamus the title but then RKO’s his ass. He poses for a bit and looks to leave but comes into the ring, gets in the punt position and Sheamus takes off. They do the usual in ring-on stage stare down to end the segment.

We are back from break and the Hart’s are on commentary. Cole starts shit with the Hart’s asking if the cried about losing the titles.

WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. Santino & Kozlov

Cody and Santino start the match, maybe DCR can pluck Santino’s unibrow. This shit at ringside is uncomfortable with Hart’s and Cole arguing. This isn’t working and its bad and distracting. Drew pins Kozlov with the Futureshock.

Winners: Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre

John Morrison is getting ready backstage, its him and Jericho tonight. Well I guess he played fools telling them on twitter that he was going to be in Canada.

Edge in the back when Zack Ryder walks in the back and wants to hang out with Edge and…dance!? Edge isn’t having it and is pissed he wont get a title shot again cause of this GM. Daniel Bryan comes in and tells them to keep it down. Edge is pissed and wants to hurt Edge because of it. Bryan smiles to the whole time and accepts. Edge clowns Zack again before leaving. Interesting match…

Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison

Early part of the match sees Morrison on top even hitting an over the top rope splash onto Jericho on the outside. Someone’s getting jobbed tonight. After the break Jericho has the advantage while talking shit to Morrison calling him a stupid man. Back and forth match so far with Jericho landing on his feet from the Lionsault, Morrison tries for a springboard kick but Jericho catches him and locks in the Wall of Jericho!!! Morrison is fighting and finally gets to the ropes and we get BOO’s! They go into a series of pin attempts between the two, Morrison fights out of the Wall again hits a Shining Wizard!… He hits Starship Pain!!!! 1…2…THREE!!! Jericho is laying in the ring, he looks sad face. He rolls out of the ring and sits on the apron for a moment contemplating what’s for dinner tonight.

Winner: John Morrison

Fuck face John Cena with Josh in the back. Josh asks if he is sadface for not winning the title. He jokes the whole stupid time. He got a boner watching Orton winning last night. He makes stupid Nexus jokes and says the winds of change will stop tonight.

The Miz comes out to the stage looking like Chris Jericho in a suit. He said he didn’t tap out last night. He said he had an injury before the match and even though he was hurt he still wrestled, which none of us would have done.  He said he saved himself from potential surgery. The then said he would regain the title and yells that he didn’t tap out. Miz joins Cole and King and of course Cole is tickling the balls of Miz.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Edge

Cole gets a WWE Magazine signed by Bryan… haha. Uh… Bryan has some new song that’s some old military movie theme. Haha! Damn are they paying up the ass for this!? The crowd and Edge look like they are in shock. Match starts quick with Edge pounding on Bryan. Miz is defending himself in the ring about last night while Edge takes Bryan to the outside which he uses to pound on him some more. Edge finally brings him back into the ring before the 10 count only to get a series of kicks to the check. Edge fights back for a 2 count. Miz says Alex Riley is signed to a personal contract that he is paying. Great series of moves and counters by these two. Edge sets up for the spear, Bryan moves and goes for the LaBell lock! But Alex Riley is out with the distraction! Miz catches Bryan in the ropes!!! SPEAR…..1…2…THREE!! Way to push your new champion… of course an email comes in and the GM says because of what the Miz does he’s reversing the decision giving the match to Bryan on DQ… Edge is pissed off and gets on the mic, he’s tired of Cole, the GM and the laptop! He walks off before he does anything to the laptop. After Edge walks off Riley and Miz beat down Bryan. The crowd chants “you tapped out” which is pissing Miz off more while they double team Bryan. Miz has Riley hold him so he can slam him and get in his face. Fuck he is slapping the shit out of him. Continues to boot Bryan in the head then more slaps. Geez dude relax. He’s now ripping at his face before he hits the SCF. Cole is quiet the whole time while King calls what’s going on here. As the refs now check on Bryan Miz and Riley leave while they congratulate Bryan. Well if this doesn’t lead to Bryan being more serious, nothing will.

Winner: Daniel Bryan by DQ

Laycool come out with two “Diva’s” Championship belts for the next match. Looks like they are keeping that fucking tramp stamp belt… fuck.

Co-Unified Women’s Champion Layla vs. Melina

Although Melina was beating up Layla for the first few minutes, Layla hits a Diamond Dust to put away Melina.

Winner: Layla

Nexus is getting together in the back to talk about their favorite sports teams.

Josh in the back with Jericho. Who shills his new 3 disk DVD. Haha! He admits he shills the DVD! He said he got the IP address of Cole’s laptop and is going to blackmail the GM. He wants a title match against the winner of Orton vs. Sheamus. Orton shows up and Orton gives him a match and if Jericho beats Orton he will get a title shot whenever he wants it. The bicker before Jericho leaves after saying he’s made a career of taking guys out like him.

R-Truth comes out to his new song with Eve… go back to “WASSUP” man. Oh Christ, DiBiase has new bullshit music too, sounds like some shit KIIS would play trying to sound like the Black Eyed Peas…

R-Truth & Eve vs. Ted DiBiase & Maryse

Typical mixed tag match. Eve gets the win with a neck breaker. Ted and Maryse argue to the back until some odd sexy time graphic and music comes up that says “I will have you”.

Winner: Eve & Truth

John Cena vs. Nexus in a Gauntlet Match

Barrett comes out with Nexus but they stay on the stage. Wade gets the mic, climbs on top of the announce table. He said there was a change of plans tonight, since Cena wants to pick off Nexus one by one he’s going to have to face the rest of Nexus in a Gauntlet match. If he wins he gets Barrett. Wade then says the old other option if for them to beat his ass together… Cena goes with taking on Nexus and Slater is out first. Slater gets the advantage on Cena hitting him with every move in his set. Some military dude is at ringside giving Slater the “you cant see me” hand thingy. Haha dummy. Slater gets hit with the FU for the pin. Out next is Otunga and we go to break.. We come back and Otunga is beating on Cena. Cena rolls up Otunga for the pin shortly after. Tarver is out next mauls Cena in the corner. Tarver has been the only vicious one so far… that is until Tarver ends up in the STF and submitting. Gabriel is out, he hits a series of kicks before getting a 2 ½ count. Cena fights back… and hits a dropkick!? Much better than last nights. Cena then goes to the top but Gabriel stops him, superplex by Gabriel. They fight back and forth until he goes to hit the FU and Nexus attacks Cena all at once. Cena ends up with the chair Barrett tried to use and Nexus scatters.

Winner: John Cena by DQ

Cena said Barrett owes him and wants him right now. Wade said he has nothing to gain but taking Cena out again. Cena says he will do anything to face Wade one on one. Wade wants something before he agrees to a match, Wade wants the match at the Hell in the Cell ppv on one condition… if Wade wins Cena goes Nexus… we’re doing this shit again?! Ugh. Cena agrees but says if he wins Nexus is over. Didn’t Cena just say that he would do anything to get his hands on Wade but now HE wants stips!? Fuck man, I guess superman wins again… god dammit.

The end.

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