Late review for the Sept. 6th Episode of RAW

by

First off I want to apologize for getting this out so late seeing as its THURSDAY! Three day weekends always throw me off, thinking Monday was Sunday. Oh well, here we go anyhow…

Show starts with the Nexus in the middle of the ring, 5 left. Well at least with Sheffield out Gabriel is the next go-to man. Wade brings out how fitting it is that RAW is coming from DC since they made history last week with their beat down of Taker. Otunga and Tarver get on the mic after Wade talking about the rest of the shit they did last week. Slater talks about pinning Sheamus but then Gabriel said he’s hit his finisher on Cena AND Taker in one night. Gabriel just sounds like a cocky fuck, about time. He said Cena CAN see him. Ha! Funny. Wade gets back on the mic and mentions him pinning Orton last week and how he’s going the WWE Title at the ppv. I wouldn’t hate that actually. Maybe they can bump this title in the trash for a Nexus style WWE Title. Ok sorry jumping the gun. Orton shows up on the stage talking about taking two of Wade’s guys out in less than 30 seconds and how he’ll do it again. Wade and Orton gibber jabber until, guess what? A fucking email from the GM. Gabriel vs. Cena and Orton vs. Barrett with Nexus band from ringside.

Chris Jericho is coming to the ring when we get another email. The GM isn’t happy about Jericho and Edge. If they lose their matches tonight they will lose their ppv main event spots. Jericho goes up to Cole and demands to know who the GM is. John Morrison then comes out as Jericho’s opponent tonight. Have these two dudes wrestled each other before? I’m drawing a blank right now.

John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho

Match starts off fast paced with Morrison attempting a couple quick pins. Jericho gets the upper hand yelling to know who the GM is. Great back and forth between these guy. Best spot so far, Jericho goes for the Lionsault but lands on his feet when Morrison gets up and hits a second rope spring board kick to Jericho! Great match so far! Morrison goes for Starship Pain but he lands on his feet and Jericho gets the Walls of Jericho on! Morrison gets to the ropes and they end up at the top rope which leads to Jericho getting dropped and Morrison hitting Starship Pain for the win!! Solid victory and Morrison NEEDS to work more with Jericho. This could bring him up to where the Miz is right now quickly. After the match Jericho lays in the middle of the ring realizing that he is out of the ppv main event now. He starts to leave when he sits on the ring steps but then leaves to people clapping. I don’t get it he’s just out of the ppv match right?! I mean this is what you should be doing regularly, making a title match mean something special but since you shit on that I’m not sure why Jericho not being in this match ruins his life? He originally said that if he doesn’t win the title at the ppv he’ll retire. But he didn’t so he doesn’t… right?

Winner: John Morrison via Starship Pain

Diva’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Before the match Fox said she is going to be the “undefined” champion…? Bitch then says she’s got more twitter followers than LayCool and Melina combined. Uh. She’s drunk. Ha. Fox is so bad she makes Melina look like Shawn Michaels.

Winner: Melina wins with her standing leg drop.

United States Champion in the back looking at something behind a black curtain. He tells Josh tonight he all about the Miz and his journey on the road to awesome. Josh tries to peek behind the sheet but Miz lets him to go away.

WWE poker? Hey kids we cant see you sex and violent anymore but here’s gambling for ya! Christ.

Edge in the back with Zack Ryder (mini reunion). Edge rants about what happened to Jericho and Ryder wants to take on Edge which he calls easy. Ha. Edge calls for the GM like its God, looking up in the sky asking for him (or her) to mak the match with Ryder who then WWWYKI’s. Edge says he will smash the laptop if he doesn’t get the match. Ryder gets pissy cause he thought he heard Edge call him a tool. Ryder says his feelings are hurt. Edge just walks off thinking “what the?”

DiBiase in the back on the phone sounding like he’s talking to Maryse but Maryse walks in all jealous. Its just “his mom”. Maryse has some not that says “I want you so bad”. Its not from Ted but for Ted, at least he says. She goes off in French and Ted has no idea what the fuck she is saying so he walks off.

Justin Gabriel vs. John Cena

Its time for Cena to take a long break. Yeah I know, its all about the kids n shit but enough. Take a break man. Shit even HHH takes breaks, give US one. Typical Cena chants. Slow paced match with Gabriel getting the advantage early in the match and keeping it for the most part. Good stuff for Gabriel and Cena needs to hit him with an FU from the top to kill him off. Good rub for Gabriel even in losing.

Winner: John Cena

The Miz is now in the ring after the break with his mysterious covering magazine cover… I mean mysterious thing that we don’t know what it is. He said his name is Mike Mizanin and has no right to be here. That’s what they told him 6 years ago. So he had at the bottom and start in Tough Enough. He said people questioned him being in the WWE and that he should have gone back to MTV. He moved on and became the host of Smackdown to try break into the WWE. People still talked shit so he started teaming with John Morrison. People would then say he was riding Morrison’s goat tails and would (and without saying it) be the Marty Jannetty to Morrison’s HBK. But then he became the US Champion. He then won Money in the Bank. So the man that didn’t belong is now the biggest star is the entire company. He then unveils the new WWE cover with Miz on it. He said as a child he would buy ever issue of the WWE magazine and dream of being on the cover and now its happening. He then wants everyone to admit they were WRONG about him. How now HE is the poster child. Greatest promo of his career right here. He then says “cause I’m the Miz… and I have the RIGHT to say I’m awesome”. The shit. Ah fuck Daniel Bryan is out now! He says hi Mike Mizanin, I’m Daniel Bryan. He came out to congratulate Miz cause he can relate and Miz cuts him off quick and says he cant. Bryan says he’s right and that he’s not Miz and how he’s nobody and names off a few things he needs to do so he doesn’t get kicked out of the arena. He said he’s the anti-superstar. He then says he can beat Miz but Miz aint having it. Bryan then shows off his own magazine cover with Bryan submitting Miz. Miz banters until Bryan cuts him off, he just wants a yes or a no. Miz says yes. Bryan is appreciative Miz throws a punch but gets put into a crossface until Alex Riley comes out of no where. Riley gets kicked in the head then locked into the cross face. He taps while Miz watches on. Michael Cole is still hating on Bryan. Miz goes to leave the briefcase opens and inside of it… nothing. Haha. Bryan looks at the poster in the middle of the ring and kicks it over. Miz is pissed. Great segment.

Michael Cole is now getting text messages from the GM. Cena takes on the winner of Wade vs. Orton.

Edge vs. The Great Khali w/Runjin

Before the machine Edge goes to the laptop, he hesitates wanting to punch the laptop but the ref gets him in the ring. Edge goes to the outside making fun of Khali, doing some sort of Frankenstein/mummy walk. Khali ends up fighting with Edge on the outside, Edge then quickly runs back to the ring and Khali is counted out. Cole gets an email right after that says he refused to count Edge’s victory and the match will go on as no DQ/Over the top rope challenge. Khali throws Edge to the outside but Khali climbs over the top rope but the ref doesn’t call it. Cole points it out as King plays dumb. They basically do it again but this time with Edge pulling on Khali’s leg thus making him fall out. Odd spot. Edge saves his spot in the ppv main event in a strange one.

Winner x2: Edge

Jericho is in the back starring off when Josh comes by and wants to ask questions. Josh brings up what he said last week and what his future plans are now that he isn’t getting a shot at the title. He doesn’t say shit and Josh leaves. Morrison then sits next to him and questions Jericho on his bad day? He puts his arm around him and says things will get better. Jericho turns to look at him but then turns back again. Funny.

WWE Champion Sheamus comes down to site next to Cena and Edge at ringside.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

At ringside Sheamus argues with Edge who says he’s held 29 championships. Orton and Wade end up at ringside which fighting in front of the other three. Match moves back into the ring which moves back and forth between the two. They focus more on the bantering from Cena, Edge and Sheamus which is lame. Cena and Edge finally start paying attention and talk up Wade coming up. Wade throws Orton to the outside when he was trying to hit his horizontal rope ddt. Darren Young then comes out!? He’s pissed about being kicked out of Nexus. He said he wasn’t the weakest link but the missing link… uh ok man. Fool gets Wade distracted which of course leads to an RKO for the pin.

Winner: Randy Orton

Orton then calls Young into the ring but then that fool gets an RKO. Edge tries to spear Orton but RKO! Sheamus tries for the bicycle kick but RKO! He climbs up to the second rope and celebrates. The show the clips of what just happened, when they come back Orton and Cena are face to face in the ring. They just stare at each other and the show goes off the air.

A MUCH better show than the 900th episode.

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