08-30-10 WWE RAW 900 REVIEW

by

The show starts with a great package of past RAW moments INCLUDING the debut of Chris Jericho! Still my favorite moment ever!

Bret Hart starts the show by coming down to the ring. He talks about RAW and its longevity on television. He said he was there from the beginning as was the Undertaker. Kane’s music then hits, he makes his way to the ring. Kane says there is no Undertaker anymore after what he did to him and now he’s just a man. Huge “Undertaker” chant! He says Taker is now like Bret, weak, feeble and over the hill. He says he hasn’t been THE Undertaker since WrestleMania when he took out HBK. He then says that Bret must have enjoyed that but Bret says he’ll enjoy when he takes out Kane. Kane said he wants to break out of his brothers shadow so Kane needs to take out an icon just as Taker did. Kane then goes to chokeslam Bret but the Hart Dynasty is out! Bret tries to fight back but Kane grabs him again, the lights go out and Taker is in the ring between Kane and Bret! Kane knows better and hits the bricks saying out load “not yet big brother”. The GM then emails, it says Bret vs. Undertaker TONIGHT!? Oh if only this was the OLD Bret, it would be something to get excited about…

They show footage of Episode 1 back in 1993 with Bobby Heenan, HBK and Taker. They come back from break showing footage of #279 when Austin brings the zambone to the right and jumps on McMahon.

Bryan and Kaval on the same fucking team, ah shit motherfucker!!!!

US Champion The Miz & Alex Riley beat Kofi Kingston & Michael McGillicutty and

Daniel Bryan & Kaval in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match

Match ends when Miz comes in out of nowhere to hit the SCF on Kaval for the win. Off the bat Michael Cole is being an asshole about the “internet” team and how much they way. Fucking hate Cole. Match was eh. They had two second match basically. After the match Bryan kick Riley upside the head and Miz hits Bryan with the briefcase right in the face. Cole marks out and might have cum in his pants.

Diva’s Champion Melina and Eve beat Women’s Champion Layla and McCool

Match ends when Melina pinned Layla. Another 2 second match. After the match McCool and Layla challenge Melina to a unification match at Night of Champions. Melina wants it under LumberJack rules. Well, I guess it makes sense to unify these titles since there aren’t enough chicks to make this shit decent.

Episode #889 highlights include Cena getting fucked up by the newly formed Nexus.

Nexus in the back they bring up kicking out Young and having Sheffield on the sidelines. Wade gives a pep talk and how they need to do something unforgettable tonight and he knows what exactly that is! Adding more fools?

Episode #850 highlights with Bob Barker.

Jericho in the back with Josh, he asked about his memorable moments on RAW. Jericho doesn’t want to talk about that shit. He said that if he doesn’t win the WWE Title at Night of Champions he will retire. Ah fuck… god dammit WWE don’t lose Jericho again!!! Give the guy the fucking title!

Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. John Morrison & R-Truth

A #1 Contenders match for the Tag Team Titles ends in a no contest seconds before it starts. Stupid. What the fuck is up with the bullshit short matches. If you were going to do this shit all night you might as well made it 3 fucking hours. Cody had a mirror on the back of his jacket! I had not seen that before, that’s funny shit. The King brings up good ol’ JR. I miss that motherfucker!

Espisode #867 Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels hug it out.

Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker

I don’t like that they are pulling our fucking leg that this match will actually happen…. And of course right before its going to start Wade Barrett comes out and says people want to talk about the future and the Nexus. Wade gets in the ring but Taker is all over Barrett, beats his ass and dumps him to the outside. The lights go out and Bret is gone but Kane is in the ring. Kane and Taker brawl, Taker goes for the Chokeslam but the lights go out and when they come back on Kane is gone. The rest of Nexus then comes out and surround the ring with Taker in it. Taker fights back as Nexus tries to get into the ring. Taker gets Wade to chokeslam him but the lights go out AGAIN. Lights come back on and Wade has Taker in the Fireman’s Carry and slams him! Kane’s now on the stage looking on. Wade sends Gabriel to the top rope, they position Taker and he hits the 450! Huge “Nexus sucks” chants while Nexus stands over Taker. Taker tries to sit up but he cant. Jesus Christ this is an over booked fucking show.

Jack Swagger comes out, he calls himself a returning American hero. He said he’s bringing a little swagger back to Monday Night RAW. Uh, that can be taken in a bad way…

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

Fucking hell can we get ONE match that finishes legit tonight, fuck. Albert Del Rio drives up ala JBL. He then walks to the ring while the match is going on. Bourne tries for the Shooting Star but Swagger moves and locks on the ankle lock for the win.

Del Rio then gets on the mic and says that Rey Mysterio wont be on the show tonight because he took him out. He says he’s going to recreate what he did to Rey but with Evan Bourne. He then locks the arm bar on Bourne in the ring. On the outside he’s going to take his arm out when Mark Henry comes out to make the save. Del Rio tries to hit Henry with the chair but Henry punches the chair and Del Rio takes off with a big shit grin on his face.

They go to footage of the WWE’s first trip to China. Dope shit and their smart asses went with Rey vs. Jericho there!

Episode #331 Mankind puts on This is Your Life for the Rock.

CM Punk w/SES (no Serena L ) comes to the ring, Punk says he’s better than The Rock and says he doesn’t make crappy movies like the Tooth Fairy. Haha! He asks if the people miss the Rock but he says he doesn’t miss him. He then talks shit about the Rock and how RAW has been promoting poor family values. He says wanna see then says, I got two words for ya.. and the crowd eats it up. This fool then brings up Katie Vick and says if you don’t know what it is youtube it, it will drive you to drink then you came back and let him save you! Haha! He then shows clips of episode #824 which was HHH beating the shit out of Orton in his house. Episode #691 Cena and Edge when Edge gets thrown in the ocean. Episode #257 with DX invading WCW. And lastly Episode #304 which was the Stone Cold beer bath with the fire hose. Punk is disappointed and feels shame for us. OH SHIT STONE COLDS MUSIC HITS! And Punk laughs! Haha!!! He laughs at the fools in the crowds who are sad face that they got Punk’d. He said the disappointment they feel is how he feels when he has to come to Boston. He shows another clip but its Smackdowns #199 when Brock and Show broke the ring, he said he can watch that over and over. He said it represents being obese and that he doesn’t know who the other guy was! Hahaha Big Show then comes out all dressed up, Punk calls Show Captain Insano!!! That’s funny! Show said if you want to embarrass him you’ll show footage of when Eddie Guerrero gave him that messed up burrito which got a huge Eddie pop. Or when he wore the thong for the sumo shit or when he kissed Vicki Guerrero. Show then does a Hogan impersonation but said Straightedge Society dude. Punk says he’s boring and no one likes him. Show keeps his hand up and says that was mean. Show then takes his hand and chops it on Punk’s chest. Show then clears the ring of the SES. Well, looks like they are going back to the goofy Big Show which will kill him off AGAIN! At least Punk cut the promo of the night.

Episode #450, HHH returns and Angle interrupts which gets him pedigreed.

Josh out on the stage brings out WWE Champion Sheamus, he takes the mic away from Josh and says HHH cant celebrate because of him. He’s pissed about having to defend his title against 5 other dudes at the next ppv. He then says the only Irishman in this city is him, this would be most likely true. Ha. Edge then comes out since he debuted on #265 his been throw a boat load of things which is listed. He said he’s given back 3 times what he’s gotten. He said he’s gonna win the 6 pack challenge and calls Sheamus Breeker from the Muppets. Haha Edge then heads to the ring.

The Nexus vs. Cena, Edge, Sheamus, Orton and Jericho

This is an elimination match apparently, so I guess its another win for Cena. Strong Y2J chant from the get go but he jumps out of the ring, he then looks like he is going to change his mind but then leaves and gets counted out. Edge then pushes the ref down and gets DQ’d! Cena then comes in, now lets see if this match actually takes place… Sheamus spends a lot of time in the ring fighting off Nexus until they take the advantage on him making quick tags. I think that was a “lets go Sheamus” chant!? Slater is stepping it up tonight doing most of the work for Nexus tonight. Slater pins Sheamus! Its not 5 on 2. Cena is in doing his same ol’ shit on Slater. FU to Slater and he pins him. Wade jumps in on Cena and dumps him on the outside letting Nexus attack on the outside while Wade had the ref occupied. Wade bounces Cena on the announce table then brings him back in. Tag to Gabriel who looks lost or some shit!?! He goes for a couple of pin attempts for 2 counts. Otunga is tagged in but that lets Cena get the advantage and try for the hot tag. Otunga cuts it off but ends up in the STF and Otunga taps! OH SHIT! 450 OUT OF NO WHERE! 1…2…THREEEEE Gabriel PINS Cena!!! RKO To Gabriel…1..2…THREEE! RKO to Traver! 1…2…3! BARRETT WITH THE FIREMAN’S CARRY SLAM! 1…2…THREEE! Wade Barrett pins Orton and wins the match!

ANNNNND the show ends!

Holy crap that was an over booked show with short bullshit matches that had no legit endings. Fucking throw away show with Punk’s promo was the highlight of this shit and a decent main event that kept Nexus (most so Barrett) alive.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: