08-23-10 WWE RAW REVIEW

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Warning you readers now, I’m not feeling good right now so pardon if I am angrier than ever, especially if the show sucks! 😉

Show opens with WWE Champion Sheamus coming out to the ring he starts off by calling peoples kids spoiled. He then goes to ringside to pick on kids. He then goes back into the ring calling Orton a big spoiled kid cause he was all bitter in shit about not winning the title at SummerSlam then attacking him on last week’s RAW. He asks the GM not to give in to Orton and his bowlshit, how he shouldn’t ever get a title shot. Of course the GM emails and it says that he should be rewarded. A throne is brought out to the stage for Sheamus. GM says Sheamus gets to pick his opponent after watching a series of matches with the first one taking place right now which leads to Edge’s music playing. While Edge heads down to the ring Sheamus heads up to his fancy seat.

Edge vs. R-Truth

Michael Cole is playing up the heel even more so as he was annoyed with hearing “WASSUP” for the millionth time. I mean its not like Cole repeats “vintage” or “the longest running weekly episodic show” bullshit all the time… Decent match.

Winner: Edge

After the match Edge says until Sheamus beats a 9 time champion and the guy who lead Team WWE to victory at SummerSlam, he ain’t shit.

Tonight Cena and The Miz go at it, lets hope its not like other Miz/Cena matches from the past…

Cody’s on Warehouse 13 tomorrow. Oh sorry… “DASHING” Cody Rhodes.

Great Khali w/Runjin vs. Chris Jericho

I don’t think even Jericho can save a match with Khali. Jericho is trying his ass off though. Jericho works on Khali’s legs until he finally gets Khali in the Walls of Jericho and makes his ass tap!

Winner: Chris Jericho

After the match Jericho also has comments for Sheamus. He goes on about being the first Undisputed Champion, making a giant tap out just now and how Edge isn’t the best at what he does like Jericho is. Khali creeps up behind Jericho and chops his ass out of the ring.

Josh in the back with assclown John Cena. He’s asked about what Miz did to Daniel Bryan last week. He goes on about Miz and how he has a bigger mouth and attitude since winning the MITB briefcase and how he’s going to shut it.

The show comes back with fucking Jillian in the ring doing Eminem’s latest song thank god Melina’s music cuts this shit out.

Diva’s Champion Melina vs. Jillian

Melina does the splits a lot and Jillian muffin tops out of her pants. POOH-CHEE. Melina gets the Red Alert for the pin.

Winner: Melina retains the Diva’s Title.

After the match Layla and McCool show up on the screen talking shit. They got some offer for Melina at next weeks 900th episode. Hopefully they unify the chick titles.

Josh in the back with Miz who’s asked about almost costing Team WWE the win at SummerSlam. He clowns Cena about having an ego more than him and how he COULD have cashed in at SummerSlam but didn’t because he was thinking about Team WWE. He’s making Cena pay tonight and says he doesn’t expect Sheamus to pick him but he can pick Sheamus anytime he wants.

The Nexus come out to the stage and Sheamus wants to know what does he owe this honor. Of course a fucking email comes in and the GM says that he was impressed by them last week and their ban on wrestling for titles has been lifted. Barrett then walks over to Sheamus and says their truce is OVER. Sheamus poops himself a little when he sits back in his chair.

United States Champion The Miz vs. John Cena

I dig the red and blue briefcases but I do miss the holders logo or name on the case more so. Miz starts off on top keeping Cena grounded for the beginning of the match and although he keeps fighting back, Miz still ends up having the upper hand. Apparently Cena has one million Facebook friends. I wish I was his friend now so I could delete his ass! Haha Miz keeps staying one step in front of Cena in this match. Good match for Miz here, he keeps going for pins and assclown keeps kicking out. Cena gets the STF but Miz gets to the ropes. If you were scoring this one, Miz would be way ahead dammit wrestling go to score cards! Haha Miz ends up on the outside and Daniel Bryan comes from behind, hits his ass and throws him back in for the FU. Bryan in the ring now and puts on the crossface to Miz until 5 refs pull him off of Miz. Solid pop for Bryan.

Winner: Miz by DQ

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Uso’s w/Tamina

Santino works most of the match until he makes the hot tag to Kozlov who finishes off Jay Uso with the Uranage. After the match Tamina stops the Jimmy from attacking Santino. She then blows Santino kisses…oh man.

Winner: Marella & Kozlov

Sheamus must have needed to take a piss, he wasn’t in his chair. After the break, Sheamus is back. Must have been a long one.

Ted DiBiase w/Maryse vs. John Morrison vs. Randy Orton

Before the match starts Sheamus hits the bricks. Good action packed match. Orton keeps hitting these crazy ass RKO’s, this one at the expense of Morrison for the pin. After the match DiBiase gets an RKO of his own.

Winner: Randy Orton.

Josh in the back with Sheamus, he says he didn’t need to see the triple threat match because he had made up his mind already and he would be heading back to the ring to let us know who that would be.

WWE Champion Sheamus is in the middle of the ring he says he isn’t going to wait for the ppv he is defending the title right now. He said he saw a lot of worthy guys tonight but that he is giving an opportunity tonight. He said he’s giving the shot to someone who’s never been given an opportunity and his opponent is… Zack Ryder! Ryder says Sheamus has made a mistake because he’s going to be champion. WWWYKI!

WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder

One bicycle kick to Ryder and he pins him… oh well.

Winner: Sheamus retains.

Sheamus gets back on the mic, he says he doesn’t have to defend the title for 30 days so at the next ppv he is taking the night off. This brings out Wade Barrett, who is cashing in his title match at a ppv against Sheamus at Night of Champions. The GM emails to says Wade will get his title shot at the ppv but it will be a 6 Pack Challenge match with Barrett, Jericho, Orton, Edge and assclown himself John Cena… Sheamus pushes Wade into the middle of all these guys and he’s surrounded. They then beat down Barrett with Sheamus dumping him on the outside. Sheamus then takes a Codebreaker, Jericho takes the spear, Edge takes the FU and Cena takes the RKO! The show ends with Orton smiling on the top rope with the crowd going bonkers for this dude.

Not a bad night for a taped show. Might be too much going on with the WWE Title match at the pay per view but could be the perfect time for a huge shift.

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