05-15-10 WWE SummerSlam Review

by

Nexus vs. Team WWE pays off!!!!

Starts off with a cool video package with the Staple Center being the focal point, don’t hate.

First match is for the Intercontinental Championship.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston ends in a no contest when The Nexus attack! They center on Kofi and beat his ass with Young and Barrett hitting their finishers. Wade then gets on the mic and says this is just a taste of what will happen tonight. He said the WWE team is still split so much they cant even sign a birthday card together. Haha!

In the back Jericho is in the face of Miz who’s smiling away. He said they need him. Edge is eating a Slim Jim and agrees with Jericho. Miz said he’s not sure he wants to make Nexus a priority but he’ll let them know.  Miz then jacks Edge’s jerky and bounces.

Melina beat Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox to win the Title with a front side Russian face buster.  Melina comes out looking like an Aztec red and yellow Hulkster…  Melina’s flesh tone tights are not good especially when she has a logo in her vagina. Josh comes in the ring and interviews a crying Melina when Layla and McCool come out to make fun of her. McCool wants to Twitter a picture of them with Melina but this leads to a fight and Layla and McCool get the best of her. Fox tries to get involved but Layla and McCool dump her on the outside. Segment ends with Layla and McCool taughting a beaten down Melina.

Trace Adkins (WHO?!) and the Wayan’s brothers are at ringside. Guess this year is bad for planting stars at ringside…

The Big Show beats The SES w/Serena when Show chokeslam’s Mercury onto Gallows for the pin. Before the match, Show has the tape taken off of his hand indicating that he hand has fully healed from the SES attack. Punk gets a chant from the crowd even though the last thing LA believes in is being straightedge. Show lead the beginning of the match but it wasn’t long before the SES took over beating on Show. Punk gets out of dodge before the end of the match and heads up the stage. Ok match but I haven’t been blown away just yet with this show.

Kane in the back with a casket cutting a promo on beating Rey for his brother. Sheamus then comes in and says the casket is too big for Rey but not for Orton. He wants to borrow the casket but Kane said nope. Sheamus says he’s going to take the name off of Kane, the big red monster. Kane threatens to kick Sheamus’ ass if he ever interrupts him again!

United States Champion The Miz comes out to the ring, the question is will he join the WWE team. Miz states that Cena got down on his knees today and begged Miz to join the team. Miz says that Cena said he was the ONLY person that can see him! Haha! Funny. He runs down all of the guys on team WWE and what they did to get him to join the team. Truth wrote him a crappy song, Edge gave him Slim Jim’s, Morrison admitted to being “the Jannetty”, Bret said he was the best is/was/ever will be. He then says that his answer to joining the WWE team is…. YES! He said he will lead them to victory! This was solid ass work from the Miz tonight. If this isn’t where he gets elevated, I don’t know what is!

Randy Orton beat WWE Champion Sheamus by DQ. Some fool at ringside has a sign with Beeker of the Muppets looking like Sheamus! Haha. Orton lead the beginning of the match, taking Sheamus to the outside and beating on his ass before he realized the ref was getting close to a ten count. Match was decent and the crowd got into in with some time. Sheamus gets himself DQ’d and tries to hit Orton with a chair but Orton fights back. Orton then takes Sheamus to the outside, places his ass on the cleared off announcers table and RKO’s his ass on the table that doesn’t collapse! Ouch… Orton poses and leaves as Sheamus is laid out. The trainers start to help Sheamus up while the crowd chants “we want Miz”. This would have been PERFECT to cash in and instead they go to a preview of Cena’s next fucking movie. God dammit.

World Champion Kane beat Rey Mysterio with the chokeslam. Kane brings a casket to the ring with him and opens in before the match showing that its empty… yeah, perfect for Taker to show up in the casket later. Good competitive match which Rey actually getting some shit in. This match is picking up steam! Kane goes for the chokeslam but Rey turns it into a Hurrancanranna! All for not as Kane finally hits the chokeslam to win the match. After the match Kane cuts promo on Rey while Rey lays in the ring and hints to putting him in the casket. Kane then opens the casket but Rey fights back. Kane closes the casket and chokeslams Rey twice. He then Tombstone pilerdrivers Rey! Kane opens the casket and UNDERTAKER is in it. He comes out and comes into the ring he looks at Kane but them looks at Rey in the corner. He heads toward Rey, gets down and says “an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth” and asks Rey why he did it. Taker said he believe Rey didn’t do it but still picks him up from his neck. Taker crosses his neck signaling for the Tombstone but then turns to Kane and grabs Kane by the throat. Kane then grabs Taker by the throat and we have a throat off! Kane then Tombstones Taker!!!! Kane then signals for pyro! I hate the fact these two dudes are feuding again but at least this part of the build up to that feud (again) was cool. Kane then walks off with the Title while Taker lays in the ring.

Sweet commercial is show for Smackdown on SyFy.

Nexus vs. WWE is next, holy fuck they are going to give this match a lot of time!

Nexus comes out for their match followed by Cena. You know how HUGE this night would be if Cena joined Nexus tonight?! Cena stands outside the ring while Edge, Truth, Jericho, Morrison, Hart and finally Miz join him. Cena gets on the mic and say Miz is way too late and say they couldn’t rely on someone who waiting this long to join the team so they found someone else…. HOLY SHIT ITS DANIEL FUCKING BRYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GO FUCKING WWE!!! They brawl but Nexus goes to the outside quick!!!  Bryan is going to start the match and he’s going at it with Young! This is how you main event Bryan god dammit!!! YOUNG TAPS OUT TO BRYAN!!!! Morrison pins Tarver with Starship Pain! Nexus regroups on the outside before sending in Sheffield on Morrison.  Gabriel with a kick in the back of Morrison’s head setting up Sheffield’s pin on Morrison then on Truth! Bret is finally in beating up on Slater and he is hitting classic Hart moves, the dude is looking sharp as fuck right now! Sharpshooter on Slater!!!! Slater tags Sheffield but Bret takes a chair to Sheffield’s back, Bret has been DQ’d! Every match Bret keeps wrestling he looks sharper and sharper! Codebreaker on Sheffield but tag to Edge! SPEAR!!!! 1…2….THREEE Sheffield is out!!!! Its 4 on 4 now. OTUNGA TAPS TO THE WALLS OF JERICHO! Y2J chants while Jericho is taking out Slater now. Jericho pushes Cena but ends up paying and getting pinned by Slater! Edge and Cena are up in each others face, but Slater pins Edge too!!! Its Cena and Bryan! Edge pushes Cena off the ropes and Jericho kicks Cena. Edge and Jericho leave while Bryan is checking on Cena. Slater takes Cena and corners him in the Nexus corner. Barrett is now taking it to Cena who then tags into Gabriel. Gabriel tags in Barrett again and the “lets go Cena, Cena sucks” chants begin. HOT TAG TO BRYAN! Bryan is taking it to Slater! DANIEL BRYAN CHANT!!! SLATER TAPS OUT TO THE CROSSFACE!!! MIZ IS OUT AND KNOCKS OUT BRYAN WITH THE BRIEFCASE!!! 1…2….THREEE Barrett pins Bryan!!!! Cena is on his own! 2 on 1! Cena goes for the FU on Gabriel but Barrett tags in and both do a 2 on 1 job on Cena. They start to pull back the padding around the ring. Barrett DDT’s Cena on the exposed concrete! He then rolls Cena back into the ring and wants Gabriel to hit the 450. Gabriel is up… AND CENA MOVES…HE COVERS GABRIEL…1…2…THREE!!!! Its 1 on 1… BARRETT ENDS UP IN THE STF AND….TAPS!??! fuck. God damn you John Cena, eat a bowl of big black cocks you fuck! Stupid WWE fucks it up again god damn you. FUCK! Well at least it was a dope ass match…

That match MADE this pay per view!!!

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