05-30-10 WWE RAW REVIEW (Guest Host Ashton Kutcher)


Kutcher guest hosts… from some where else and Evan Bourne gets the huge rub.

The show starts abruptly with Edge beating up on Evan Bourne out of nowhere. The announcers try to explain that Bourne had challenged Edge for his spot at the ppv. Bourne ends up getting speared which leads to Edge going on a rant about being all three guys in the Fatal 4 Way main event. He says he’s going to be a 10 time champion. Orton then comes down to the ring and although Edge tells Orton he wont do anything because he is injured, Edge still gets RKO’d and Orton poses into commercial.

The go to Kutcher who they make look like he is in the back but he’s not, this shit is taped. Eve comes out, they are talking about Zack Ryder. Kutcher is putting a hit on Ryder…!? The Miz then walks in and Kutcher and GM Hart have set up a match with Miz against Daniel Bryan.

United States Champion R-Truth beat Chris Jericho with a small package from the Wall of Jericho. Solid match and should have been a lot longer! Jericho plays shocked in the ring while Truth celebrates with the crowd.

Ryder & Fox in the back with GM Bret Hart. He wants to know who put a hit on him. The Dynasty comes in and want to know who those attackers where last week. Bret says they were the Uso’s but isn’t offering them any help.

Santino & Diva’s Champion Eve Torress beat Maryse & William Regal w/Vladimir Kozlov when Kozlov hit the Uranage on Regal for the Santino pin. Before the match cuts a funny ass promo Regal and is still trying to recruit Kozlov as his team partner. Please STOP sleeping on Santino. Kozlov got a pretty decent pop when he took out Regal.

Bret Hart comes out to the ring and announced next week is the 3 hour Special with Smackdown. This brings out Ted DiBiase w/Virgil he wants to be GM next week, that’s what he wants for next week. Kutcher then shows up on the screen and he wants to do a Viewers Choice where the Universe get to pick the matches, stips, etc. Bret agress but all of a sudden….MR. MCMAHON IS BACK! He brings up the beating he took from Bret at WrestleMania. Crowd chants “you tapped out” but Vince said not really… but you did, didn’t you?!?! Vince goes on about why he would have let Bret be GM of RAW. Vince then says that Bret better be ready for this position because its not going to be easy. Vince congratulates Bret and how amazing it is that Bret is running RAW after 13 years ago he was kicked off of it. Vince wishes him luck like he’s alluding to something but then hits the bricks.

Ryder in the back with Orton trying to find out of Randy is the one who’s taking him out. Edge comes from behind a door and takes out Orton’s injured shoulder with it.

Daniel Bryan beat The Miz with a crucifix pin. During the match Cole keeps talking shit about Bryan. After the match Miz attacks Bryan. He then drags Bryan over to Cole to apologize but Bryan turns it and sends Miz head first into Cole. Now, how the fuck do they bring Bryan on regularly?

They come back from break and the Uso’s are in the ring trying to look like hip hop hipsters. They say their lineage runs deep in wrestling but they aren’t the typical Samoan’s cause they know about…. fashion? Home girl gets on the mic, she’s crazy looking. She brings up her dad Superfly Jimmy Snuka. The Dynasty hits the ring and the 6 person brawl is on. The Uso’s get the advantage and hit the triple splash from the top. They came off a little nervous but hopefully they pan out and are dope. I’m calling it now, the thicker Uso is going to end up making it big later on, on his own.

Orton is out of the main event because of Edge taking his ass out. Now Cena’s tag team partner is a question mark.

Zack Ryder w/Alicia Fox come out to the ring. I guess the reason why Kutcher put out a hit on Ryder is because Ryder was talking shit on him on Twitter. He wants to know who’s taking him out. Kutcher is back on the screen. Lawler then goes into the ring with a steel chair but then sits on it faking Ryder out. Great Khali then comes out but its not him either. Goldust is now out but it ain’t him either. Kutcher is playing with his emotions. Ryder just wants to know who it is… and its Alicia Fox who hits him with the axe kick. Stupid.

Edge in the back when Sheamus walks in, he liked what he did to Orton. They agree to work together to take out Cena even though Sheamus warns him not to fuck with him.

Nice piece on the Junkyard Dog who they are showcasing on WWE Classics on Demand.

WWE Champion John Cena and Randy Orton Evan Bourne beat Edge and Sheamus. Cena comes out and says Orton won’t be able to compete tonight but he’s got a partner who’s Evan Bourne. The crowd is HOT for this one. Evan was in for most of the match until the hot tag to Cena. Cena hit the FU on Sheamus which set up the Shooting Star for the pin. Huge rub for Bourne, lets hope they don’t shit on it so fast.

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