05-17-10 WWE RAW REVIEW (Guest Host Buzz Aldrin)

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Edge and Orton pick their opponents, Bret Hart takes on Miz for the US Title and a Commercial free RAW…

Bret Hart comes out to start the show and says although he doesn’t take challenges lightly, he will not be wrestling tonight. This brings Jericho out who wants to know why Bret came back to the WWE then runs him down and calls Hart a phony. Hart then says Jericho is the only phony around here and how he’s a poser. Jericho then says he’s now the best there is, the best there was and the best that ever will be. He then asks why Bret came out since he could have just called it in that he wasn’t wrestling tonight. Jericho continues to run down Bret until Bret tells Jericho to tell Miz there will be a match tonight. Jericho wants the match DQ so Bret can’t make excuses. Looks like this “match” is on…

So they make up for not having commercials by having a Gieco style commercial about WWEshop.com…. ugh.

Edge comes down to the ring to a large ovation. While he is cutting down Orton, Randy Orton’s pick for Edge comes out… its fucking CHRISTIAN!!! Please let this be some dope shit! They are really playing up the Canada shit tonight with Jericho, Hart, Edge and Christian in the early goings of this show!

Edge beat Christian in a Pick Your Poison Match. Great back and forth match! They need to stop fucking around and match a feud for these dudes already this shit was an exciting, fun and a solid match! After the match Orton on the screen congratulates Edge but that he doesn’t know why Christian is out there as that wasn’t his opponent tonight…. The lights go dark and the Undertakers music hits!!!

Undertaker beats Edge via count out. The match didn’t even get started, Edge went right for the outside. After the match is over, Christian throws Edge back into the ring and Edge gets chokeslamed but Taker.

Fast moving show tonight and its only 30mins in!!

Maryse is looking at a magazine that has Trish Stratus on the cover. She is complaining about it to the makeup lady. She starts talking shit about Eve when Eve shows up and the bitches brawl at the makeup table. Eve wins this one.

Buzz and some bitch with a lot of cosmetic surgery (seriously its scary) in the back when Vicki Guerrero comes in and she wants to know why he is in HER office. Buzz stutters on WW….E? He tells her that her replacement will be on RAW next week. The Bella’s then kick Vicki out.

Mark Henry comes down for his match, he’s bandaged up after Batista’s beating last week. Batista then comes out and beats up on Henry from behind on the outside of the ring. Batista then comes into the ring and asks for a spotlight while he poses in the ring.

They do “word from out sponsor” and it’s a piece on Ted DiBiase…. Getting the shit smacked out of him by R-Truth.

Ted DiBiase w/Million Dollar Belt comes out and brings out….VIRGIL! haha Virgil ain’t as impressive looking as he use to be that’s for sure.

Ted DiBiase w/Virgil beat Yoshi Tatsu with Dreamstreet. Virgil got a chant from the crowd in the early part of the match. Match was short and jobber style, fucking assholes jobbing Yoshi! After the match, Ted gets on the mic and says you know who isn’t afraid to be the “new” Virgil….VIRGIL! He says now that his trust fund has kicked in he can get whatever he wants or beat it up to get it.

In the back Miz and Jericho are whispering to each other. Josh tries to ask Miz a question and Miz grabs the mic and cuts a walking promo on Bret Hart and how he is going to beat a legend tonight. He walks to the ring still talking, he’s pissed that Bret cost him the Unified Tag Titles and how he is going to spit on the Hart heritage. He says he’s going to make Bret tag out to his own move the Sharpshooter.

The bell rings and Miz gets back on the mic he said he paid a couple of guys to watch his back tonight if the Dynasty shows up. Regal and Kozlov show up. The Hart Dynasty comes threw the crowd and they brawl with Regal and Kozlov to the back. Jericho then comes into the ring and Nataliya shows up and slaps Jericho but Jericho hits Hart in the gut. DH back in and takes out Jericho but is taken out by Miz. Now its Miz and Hart and Miz is going for the Sharpshooter, Kidd comes out and lands the missle drop kick on Miz and the Dynasty gets the Hart Attack on Miz….Hart puts the Sharpshooter on MIZ!!!!!….HE TAPS! BRET HART WINS THE UNITED STATES TITLE!!!! The crowd is going ape shit!

Why is Michael Cole playing the cock sucker with Bret Hart winning!?

Oh shit they do a Most Interesting Man in the World commercial with Santino… funny shit!

Smackdown’s Women’s Champion Layla & “fake” Women’s Champion Michelle McCool. McCool also comes down with a Women’s Title belt?! So because they beat Phoenix in a two on one match they are claiming they are both Women’s Champion…?! Uh, unless this shit turns into a tag title this is stupid.

Women’s Champions Layla & Michelle McCool and Maryse beat Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & The Bella’s when Maryse pinned one of the Bella’s with the DDT. Layla is getting dope in the ring, this chick can be the new Trish, I’m calling it now. McTaker still sucks and it shows even worse with Layla improving. Maryse and Eve had to be separated after the match.

Josh in the back with WWE Champion John Cena who gets a mixed reaction from the crowds. He cuts the same ol’ shit promo on why he is taking on Sheamus, talks about his “fans”, Batista and how he will not quit. Sigh, whatever man.

Randy Orton comes out for his Pick Your Poison match, his opponent is… World Champion Jack Swagger!

Randy Orton beats World Champion Jack Swagger by DQ when Edge attacks him. After the match is thrown out, Orton RKO’s Swagger but gets caught in the Spear. Edge gets his revenge.

Buzz Aldrin comes out and you could hear that crickets from the crowd. Stupid to have this dude in Canada… They are hating this shit. He’s cutting a promo on supporting the President (in America) and the (American) Space Program. This is retarded. This brings out Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox. He clowns Canada and how the moon landing is set up. Zack said he’d rather be homeless than live in Canada. Haha. The show footage of Buzz punching some dude who said the moon landing was staged. This is where he is suppose to let people know who the opponents are but stalls and does it while their music is playing, horrible.

In a mixed tag match, Even Bourne and Gail Kim beat Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox when Kim makes the pin on Fox. Fast paced but a Superstars match. Buzz then comes in and celebrates with the winners. Buzz does… a….. moonwalk? Sigh.

Jon Lovitz next week. This is getting worse. Please kill this.

Another Gieco commercial, this time Goldust as an awkward blind date. The chick in the segment is dope though, only reason why you should watch it.

WWE Champion John Cena beat Sheamus by DQ when Batista attacked him during the match. Good back and forth match but the crowd definitely hated on Cena. Batista continued to beat on Cena before putting him in his crossface move. Batista yelled for him to say he quit… and the show ends.

A lot of bowlshit and DQ finishes tonight but it did have a solid Edge/Christian match and it was crazy to see Bret Hart win the US Title.

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