04-05-10 RAW REVIEW (Guest NXT Rookie David Otunga)

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The new World Champion Jack Swagger comes out to the ring decked out in a suit. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler comment how he is the fastest person to cash in the MITB briefcase. They show the footage of Swagger winning the title on Friday night. Swagger says that for him to prove he was the best he had to beat the best and that was Chris Jericho. He says no one on RAW compares to his abilities so he is off to Smackdown. This of course brings out fucking Jean Shorts, god dammit. This asshole calls Swagger the luckiest man in the world. He then says Swagger isn’t championship material. Look who’s fucking talking. Jean Shorts challenges Swagger tonight and said he’d even put the WWE Title on the night tonight. While Swagger was saying that shit wasn’t going to work Randy Orton comes out. He says that Swagger should compete against the guy who beat him last week which was Orton. Then the Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz come out… what the fuck is going on tonight?! Miz says that RAW is all about the Tag Team Champions. Guest Host David Otunga comes out, this fool has RAW shaved on his head. He sets up Swagger vs. Orton, ShowMiz vs. Batista & John Cena for the Tag Titles….!? Please don’t have this shit end with Shorts/Batista winning the titles, that’s be OVER done. The segment ends with Orton trying to RKO Jean Shorts but ends up RKO’ing Swagger.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus is next, gee I wonder if Triple H will get involved… wow he didn’t!? Sheamus beat Kofi with the Razors Edge. Fuck man what is the deal with what they are doing to Kofi!? After the match Sheamus pulls a lead pipe from under the ring and hits Kofi in the back of the head with it. Hey look who’s doing the backstage walk…Triple H…sigh.

Sheamus is still in the ring after the break he gets on the mic and brings up HBK’s retirement and how long it took him to win the WWE Title. He says it only took him 6 months cause he’s dope. He blames HHH for taking the WWE Title away from him so he took something away from him last week. What getting all fucking teary n shit!? He calls HHH and the crowd pathetic for crying over HBK who retired because he didn’t want to face Sheamus. After talking some shit on HHH, he shows up and slowly walks to the ring. BAH! Triple H kind of slips getting onto the ring apron. HHH then gets his sledge hammer before coming into the ring and taking it and trying to hit Sheamus with it. They end up on the outside and HHH hits one of The King’s monitors at ringside and it sparks. This fool ends up running thru the crowd to get away from HHH. HHH says something stupid on the mic and the segment ended with that.

Diva’s Champion Maryse is out on commentary for the Diva’s Red Carpet Battle Royal with the winner getting a shot at the Diva’s Champion next week…  Maryse cuts down all of the Diva’s as they come down to the ring in their dresses. This mess goes a few minutes before Eve side steps Jillian on the ring apron for the win. Man, what the fuck ever happened to the days of Lita and Trish Stratus…

Next they show the NXT David Otunga video package.

The go to the back with Otunga’s fool ass is in the back with a bunch of his lackeys. Santino shows up asking where the A-Team is?! Haha Hornswoggle is trying to jack all of Otunga’s green M&M’s…

Unified Tag Team Champions The Big Show & United States Champion The Miz

WWE Champion “Jean Shorts” John Cena & Batista

Batista’s graphic still comes up as him being from Smackdown. During the match Batista goes to leave, Jean Shorts attacks Batista which got his ass counted out. This brings out Otunga who says ShowMiz will defend the titles again tonight against Jean Shorts….and himself… oh man…

Ted DiBiase comes out with the Million Dollar Belt!!! He is still billed being part of Legacy. He says that Sr. did something he’s never did before last week and that is trying to be a father. He lists all the things Sr. missed out on with Jr.’s up ringing. He said Sr. bought his love with The Million Dollar Belt. Cole calls the MDC Belt an “unsanctioned” championship and gives a brief history on the belt.

The Million Dollar Champion Ted DiBiase beat Christian with Dream Street. Good match, I hope this spawns a feud. Jr. could use to learn a lot from Christian and get some solid matches with him.

April 26th will be a three hour Draft RAW!

Great video package on Shawn Michaels is shown. Solid. If anything the WWE does great is these style video packages.

Randy Orton beat World Champion Jack Swagger with the RKO. I like the attitude change on Swagger From the second he won the World Title pinning Jericho, he went all serious. Really good match with Orton playing the full on face. Good to see Swagger in a main event. I hope they keep Swagger up there. Even though Swagger lost I think this did well for both guys and it helps build a future between these guys down the road. This is what they should be fucking doing.

Hart Anthology DVD comes out tomorrow!!!

David Hasselhoff is guest host next week….clusterfuck.

Unified Tag Team Champions The Big Show & United States Champion The Miz beat WWE Champion Jean Shorts & David Otunga when the Big Show knocks out Shorts for the pin. I can’t believe this fool Otunga is main eventing RAW… John Cena carried the whole match, when he tried to make a tag Ortunga jumps off the ring apron and Cean gets knocked out for the pin. After the match Batista comes out and gives Shorts a Batista Bomb. Otunga says Batista has an announcement, Batista gets spot light and he says he’s getting his rematch at the Extreme Rules ppv against Shorts in a Last Man Standing.

The should have had R-Truth come out and talk Otunga out of his match or something to show he’s a rookie and not on the level of the WWE yet.

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