01-31-09 Royal Rumble Results

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The pay per view starts with ECW Champion Christian coming to the ring for this match with Ezekiel Jackson. I hope Christian can pull a good match out of Jackson’s ass.

ECW Champion Christian beats Ezekiel Jackson when he hit the Killswitch for the win. During the match back and forth match until Regal gets himself ejected from the match, at that point Jackson really begins to dominate Christian. Good competitive match up and I do think Jackson looked good in the match, mission accomplished!

Smackdown GM Teddy Long in the back with ECW GM Tiffany when Cryme Tyme comes in and tries to convince Long to put BOTH of them in the Rumble. Great Khali comes in and they try to take his spot. Lame story short they do the “pants on the ground” song from American Idol until The Miz comes in and puts a stop to the stupid song. Since there are no Guest GM’s at the ppv, Teddy Long makes the Miz vs. MVP match for tonight.

In the back Cody Rhodes comes into Randy Orton’s locker room, Cody says he will be there for Orton. Cody says Ted DiBiase hasn’t been the same since his movie came out and says Ted is out to win the Rumble and beating Orton for the Title at WrestleMania. But Cody reassures Orton that he can count on him.

United States Champion The Miz beats MVP with a rollup for the pin. I’m glad this match got on the pay per view. With the build it was getting it didn’t make sense to leave it off. Good match that saw MVP land the “pounce” formerly used by Monty Brown. After the match MVP hits Miz with the Playmaker, crowd wasn’t digging that action by MVP.

In the back The Big Show runs into Chris Jericho. Show says Jericho is jealous of what Show said about Miz being a better tag partner. Jericho tries to convince Show that Miz is out for himself. Show says his only loyalties are for himself in the Rumble. R-Truth shows up and says that he is going to throw Jericho out. Solid promo but I am sad to see JeriShow go.

Orton in the back when he walks into Ted DiBiase, he says he’s out to help Orton but then Ted says that Cody is saying that HE is going to win the Rumble. Orton says he doesn’t need any of them helping him. What is Legacy up to? Could we be seeing a Triple Threat match at ‘Mania with Legacy?

WWE Champion Sheamus beats Randy Orton by DQ when Cody comes thru the crowd and hits Sheamus who was on the outside. Sheamus makes Orton look Orange. Crowd was heavily behind Orton from the beginning of the match with Randy chants. Sheamus fucked up when Orton was trying to take the leg out and moved so Orton didn’t get all of the move, it looked weak because of it. The match ended up slowing down a lot when Sheamus is on top which was kind of killing the crowd but the crowd eat this shit up when Orton is on top. After the match Cody looks apologetic as the crowd chants RKO. Orton then begins to beat up on Cody until Ted comes out and separates them. Randy then attacks both Randy and Ted when Sheamus lands the bicycle kick to Orton. Looks like it will be WrestleMania triple threat!

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool comes out and gets on the mic in the ring and says that Piggy James hasn’t been seen and continues to talk shit about James. Layla comes out in the fat suit again when Mickie James music hit and she comes out and beats up on Layla.

Mickie James beats Michelle McCool in seconds for the Women’s Title when McCool hits Layla with a bicycle kick accidentally and James hits the DDT for the pin. After the match the Diva’s come out with a big cake and dump it all over Layla and McCool. Luckily this was SHORT and they did want they needed to do and put the title on James after the weeks of abuse.

Rey Mysterio comes out for his match with Taker, at ringside is WWE Sign Guy who has a sign mask of Rey he is holding to his head, Rey comes by and does the head to head thing with him, it was actually kind of funny.

World Champion The Undertaker beats Rey Mysterio with the Last Ride. Rey had hit the 619 and was going for the Westcoast pop when he got caught and power bombed. In the early goings of the match, Taker basically threw Rey out of the ring with ease. The match was a fast paced David & Goliath match with both guys really putting each other over. Taker is bleeding from the nose and they let it go on without cleaning him up. Good match!

In the back HBK is watching the match when Kane comes in and says his obsession with Taker isn’t healthy. Kane tells him there is only darkness when you go down this path. After he walks out, Triple H walks in and HBK apologizes to Triple H about last weeks shenanigans. HBK says he and Taker are meant to be but Triple H says he’ll need to find another way to that. Good promo for Kane and HBK but Triple H had to come in and fuck it up.

The Royal Rumble match is next.

#1 Dolph Ziggler.

#2 is Evan Bourne.

Both go at it and Bourne does hit the Shooting Star Press until…

#3 CM Punk comes out and throws both guys out then gets on the mic about winning the rumble before the next guy comes out he says its “clobbin’ time”.

#4 JTG takes it to Punk until he gets cocky and Punk throws him out and gets back on the mic! This is classic shit!

#5 The Great Khali comes out and Punk looks worried. Punk offers to save Khali but Punk gets chopped and locked into the head vice.

#6 Beth Phoenix comes out!!! She gets face to face with Khali, he carries her over the top rope but Phoenix gets rids of Khali when she’s kissing him! Holy shit! Beth attacks Punk but gets the G2S

#7 Zack Ryder comes out and while he is coming out Punk gets rid of Beth. Punk offers Zack to be saved but then cocks him in the head with the mic. Ryder is thrown out by Punk!

#8 Triple H is next (by the way I called this one after Punks comments). They get face to face and HHH throws the first punch. They brawl until…

#9 Drew McIntyre walks really slow to the ring, HHH and Drew go at it. G2S to HHH…No, HHH throws out Punk?! FUCK YOU TRIPLE H!!

#10 Ted DiBiase and HHH tries to fight off Drew and Ted but it don’t go well.

#11 John Morrison comes out next to even things out, he goes after Ted then Drew while HHH takes a nap in the corner. Morrison hits Starship Pain on Drew.

#12 Kane comes out and clears house. Double chokeslam for Drew and Morrison. Everybody is getting beat up by Kane, yes even HHH who also gets a chokeslam!

#13 Cody Rhodes comes out and saves Ted from being thrown out by Kane. Cody starts clearing house. Legacy tries to get rid of Kane but HHH makes the save.

#14 MVP pulling double duty but Miz attacks MVP from behind before he can get to the ring, does this mean he is out?!! Yup, MVP is being walked out.

#15 Carlito runs in and takes a shot at everyone even landing a back stabber on HHH, Drew and Ted.

#16 Miz comes out and hits the KCF on Carlito but MVP comes out and attacks Miz and BOTH Miz and MVP go over the top rope as they brawl.

#17 Matt Hardy.. twist of fate for Drew, side effect to Cody and Kane just throws out Matt but HHH throws out Kane!! Spinebusters by HHH to everyone in the ring. Then they all jump HHH

#18 HBK comes out eliminates Carlito, Cody, Ted!… Then Morrison! Its DX and Drew in the ring right now, they both clothesline Drew out of the ring and its only DX when

#19 John Cena comes out. Cena comes out like a house of fire on DX. Pedigree to CENA! SWEET CHIN MUSIC AND HHH IS OUT!!!!!!!!!

#20 Shelton Benjamin comes out and lays out Cena and HBK. But Cena gets rid of Shelton. Its only Cena and Michaels in the ring.

#21 Yoshi Tatsu is hot and beats up on both but Cena gets rid of Yoshi. Fuck. HBK and Cena go back and forth with Cena hitting a bulldog

#22 Big Show comes out and Cena looks worried. Huge head butts to HBK and Cena. Show tries to eliminate HBK, Cena gets in on it and tries to dump Show. HBK almost gets Show out

#23 Mark Henry and Show go face to face while Cena and HBK take a nap. Henry tries to pick up Show. Cena is back up and helps Henry with Show, Henry ends up body slamming Show

#24 Chris Masters comes out and goes at it with HBK, manhandling him. Master tries the masterlock on Show but Show dumps Masters over the top! Henry trying to dump Show, HBK out to help.

#25 R-Truth comes out and dumps SHOW and HENRY, the are OUT!?!?! WOW! Truth taking it to Cena and HBK.

#26 Jack Swagger comes out quick and beats on HBK, Cena and Truth.

#27 Kofi Kingston is out and lands the high cross body on Swagger from the top. Swagger is out by Kofi! Kofi throws Truth out!

#28 Chris Jericho is out and beating up on Cena but gets an FU. HBK goes to give SCM to Jericho but Kofi give HBK the trouble in paradise. Cena takes out Kofi. Codebreaker to Cena by Jericho.

#29 EDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CROWD IS LOSING THEIR SHIT! SPEARS FOR ALL!!!! EDGE throws out Jericho! Its Edge, HBK and Cena!!!

#30 Batista is out and he is one for four left! Batista is out beating on HBK and Cena. Edge spears Batista but Edge gets an FU from Cena. HBK taking it to Batista and Cena, back and forth. Sweet chin music to Batista and Cena! Batista eliminates HBK after he was on the ring apron when Edge clotheslined him over the ropes! Three left are Batista, Edge and Cena. HBK back in the ring, he’s pissed he is out of the Rumble and superkicks the ref! HBK has lost it, he wanted the Undertaker that bad and its dope how they are playing this!! Cena gets rid of Batista its EDGE and CENA! Edge is setting up the spear Cena blocks but EDGE DUMPS CENA OVER THE TOP AND EDGE WINS THE ROYAL FUCKIN’ RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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