MMAFighting and UFC on Fuel correspondent, Ariel Helwani, caught up with WWE World Champion, CM Punk. Punk talks about Chael Sonnen, Chris Jericho’s “dive” tweet, Brock, his BJJ training and more.

Mascara De Fuego: Welcome everyone to Fighter Hayabusa’s Royal Rumble predictions, how are you Puma?

Great Puma: I’m swell. I had my bionic arm replaced and it’s feeling great…if not sexy.

Mascara De Fuego: Sounds like you’re going to be doing a lot of stick shift driving.

Great Puma: I’m certainly excited! Well then shall we?

Mascara De Fuego: Yes we shall… lets start this off… for our first topic…

First Entrant into the Royal Rumble:

Mascara De Fuego: I have a gut feeling we’re seeing Dolph Ziggler take this point once again pulling pay per view double duty. This obviously means I don’t think he is going to win the WWE Title and will weasel his way into the match to try to get another shot at the title at the biggest show of the year.

Great Puma: I don’t think they’re going to allow the number one entrant win the Rumble for a while but the first entrant is usually a bigger name. I’m going to go with R-Truth. People need someone to root for in the early moments of the Rumble.

Last Entrant into the Royal Rumble:

Mascara De Fuego: I’m going with Chris Jericho to come out at number 30 and take full advantage of his number position… more on that later.

Great Puma: Wade Barrett. Wade being last improves the possibility of him getting another opportunity at a World Championship. The fans will react appropriately and this will definitely add more risk, drama and doubt to the eventual winner (not Wade) of the Rumble.

Most Eliminations in the Royal Rumble:

Great Puma: If this was last year, it would be so easy to say Big Show or Kane. However, I think they’re gonna give the big rub to Mark Henry. He deserves it, if rumors are true, it would be a nice reward and Royal Rumble record prior to his eventual retirement i 2012.

Mascara De Fuego: I’m going with Sheamus. I think this would be a nice rub for him seeing as he has been building a solid fan base in the last several months. Good push for him if he can lose the Rumble yet still clean house.

Quickest Person Eliminated in the Royal Rumble:

Great Puma: This is a hard one. I’m going with David Otunga. As much as I enjoy watching him, I know the WWE Universe does not. I think the WWE will make this happen to make the crowd happy. I think Ricardo Rodriguez would be another strong quickest elimination candidate.

Mascara De Fuego: If Evan Bourne was around at the moment I’d go with him but seeing as he’s at home enjoying the Rumble from the comfort of his couch, I am going with the continued burial of Drew McIntyre. He’s the only dude they keep crapping on yet they don’t move him to NXT or WWE Superstars. He’s a high priced Future Endeavor.

Surprise Entrants into the Royal Rumble:

Great Puma: MVP. I felt a disturbance in the force when I read his latest interview. It’s probably not going to happen but if it did, I think the crowd would go bananas. Just to pick a second option, I would say Christian.

Mascara De Fuego: I think we’ll get Hacksaw Jim Duggan since he won the first televised Royal Rumble 25 years ago. Also, I could see Christian making his return as well and possibly someone like Rob Van Dam depending on what his TNA status is.

The 2012 Royal Rumble Winner:

Great Puma: Prior to Chris Jericho’s promo on Raw, I would have picked Sheamus. Now I’m picking Jericho. There’s a hot fan-made storyline that’s circulating around the interwebs that has Jericho being number one, he does his high-fiving around the ring, and he does not enter the ring until the very end. That would be entertaining. For myself, I’d like to see Jericho enter around the 15th or 20th person mark so he can take out some major players in the Rumble. I think he needs to show the world that he still has ‘it’ and solidify his status as one of the WWE’s elite wrestlers.

Mascara De Fuego: Chris Jericho. I have a feeling we’re going to see the most controversial Rumble win in the history of the event. I can see Jericho coming in at the last minute after the two before him eliminate themselves leaving the Royal Rumble to be won by the last participant. Jericho then comes out, celebrates all the way to the ring as he’s announced the winner. He cuts a very basic promo like at RAW and we’re still left in the dark as to what his real motives are.

Kane vs. John Cena

Mascara De Fuego: John Cena. That’s all I have to say about that. As Jim Ross would say, this is going to be “bowling shoe ugly”. Cena will be more serious for once but his movie set will still take you out of the moment since you can’t take that shit seriously. Kane will look good possibly getting a spot in the Elimination Chamber match out of it.

Great Puma: Kane. This is more wishful thinking than a prediction. Shit. Is it bad that I don’t give a shit about this match? I’ve decided that John Cena should NOT turn heel. Perhaps he could turn heel after Wrestlemania but not now. If anything he should turn heel, I think the fans will just go all Madison Square Garden on the angle and cheer him. If they want a definitive Heel vs. Face confrontation at ‘Mania Cena should just go super-face and ham it up.

Steel Cage Match: World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. The Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Great Puma: Daniel Bryan. I think Bryan’s finally getting a strong reaction from the crowd and he’s just beginning to develop his WWE heel persona. Big Show and Mark Henry have been great but I think the real money match for Smackdown is Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton.

Mascara De Fuego: It’s a shame, I would like to see Bryan come out of (at least)this ppv with the World Title intact but I just don’t think they see him at that point yet. I do think he will get there in time with this WWE heel version of character but they will sleep on him for a bit. I think the title is going back to Mark Henry who will carry the title to WrestleMania.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero – John Laurinaitis as the special guest referee

Great Puma: CM Punk. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk is one of the few matches the WWE can make for Wrestlemania that gives that main event feel to the card. Ziggler will get his much deserved run at a World Title this year but it won’t come until the summer.

Mascara De Fuego: Punk. The Rumble always steals the show but I think this will be a close second. Ziggler has been working is balls off in recent months and I do think he deserves a decent run with a major title but I don’t think this is the time. Punk has to go to Mania and he has to face Jericho. That will be the match for the wrestling-heads at that show. Laurinaitis will make his presence felt but he will fail and he will have his match with Punk in due time.

Go-home show time.

Show starts with WWE Champion CM Punk coming out to the ring. He reminds us what’s going on at the ppv with he and Dolph Ziggler. He also tells us about Ziggler’s last three wins over him and how Laurinaitis had something to do with each one of those victories. Punk mentions how Laurinaitis finally admitted that he is going to screw Punk at the ppv. He then calls out Laurinaitis and wants to hear these things to his face. This gets a Punk chant. He doesn’t come out which gets Punk telling Laurinaitis he is going to find him. John Cena’s music hits and this dude comes out before Punk ended up leaving for the back. Punk said the wrong John came out. Cena then shits on Punk and tells him this is how it is done. Cena then talking shit about Laurinaitis and how he IS going to come out to give Ryder a rematch and Cena another match with Kane. How Laurinaitis will show up to step down as interim GM. Punk is still confused as why the fuck Cena came out. Laurinaitis finally comes out and says he stands by what he said last week and wont be intimated but Cena or Punk. Punk keeps teasing Laurinaitis to come to the ring. Laurinaitis makes Kane vs. Ryder for tonight, no holds barred and if Cena gets involved Ryder will never get another US Title shot. He sets a tag team match for right now…

WWE Champion CM Punk & John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler & US Champion Jack Swagger w/Vicki

-Ziggler tells Punk he needs to worry about HIM not Laurinaitis. How he’s going to beat Punk again. Swagger says some shit.

- Laurinaitis is also at ringside for this one.

-Cena’s going to try to wrestle with Ziggler. It breaks into a Cena match quick.

-Punk in with a series of kicks to the back of Ziggler.

-GTS is teased early before Ziggler goes to the outside for the break.

-Cole says Laurinaitis is looking on intently… he’s actually texting…

-back from the break and Cena made a 2 ½ count on Ziggler.

-Ziggler shows off before tagging into Swagger.

-Cena takes a shot at Ziggler on the apron before taking a Swagger clothesline.

-Cena is cornered where Ziggler can get revenge on that punch.

-the fuck tennis shoes is Cena wearing. Good lord for a second I though they were Adidas… THAT was a close one…

-series of elbow drops by Ziggler who then does situps on Cena for a 2 count.

-Swagger bomb in the corner for a two count on Cena.

- Lawler brings up Laurinaitis’ texting at ringside.

-AA by Cena to Swagger into the hot tag to Punk.

-running high knee into the bulldog on Ziggler.

-GTS teased into a kick to the head for a close three that is broken up by Swagger.

-Swagger and Cena fight on the outside when Punk goes to the top.

-Laurinaitis gets on the ropes only to get pushed off by Punk.

-Ziggler then rolls up Punk for the win.

Winner: Ziggler & Swagger

After the match Punk gets back on the mic and says one day he will beat the hell out of Laurinaitis. Punk then wants Laurinaitis for one night to be a WWE Superstar and challenges him tonight! Laurinaitis then accepts! This really wont happen.

Jericho is shown in the back smiling all excited. We’re apparently getting a Highlight Reel tonight?

Recap of Jericho’s match from last week before he is intro’d.

Jericho then comes out and is shushing up. This is getting mixed boos. Jericho runs out of the ring saying hold on just one second… yeah is finally speaks and its wasted on those words. He then goes to the back and comes back to the ring with one of those t-shirt guns. He does the whole t-shirt gun tease and the crowd is going ape shit over this shirt. Jericho then asks the camera man for the camera and starts to show the crowd as they cheer for a fucking t-shirt. Haha Jericho then points to the flat screen then shows footage of Jericho’s WWE career in its entirety up to his return. Jericho then shush’s us again and then finally he says “this Sunday at the Royal Rumble the world will end as we know it”.

Since they’ve been holding off they should have maybe waited for the Rumble for his first words but maybe this might make a few more people order the ppv.

They recap last September’s match between Ziggler and Ryder where Hugh Jackman got involved in, timely… well I guess it is since the DVD to that robot movie comes out tomorrow. Such pluggers.

Truth vs. Miz tonight, well that could have waiting for the ppv…

I love the Royal Rumble by the number recaps. Such a nerd for these facts. Haha! Best hype video they could have shown for the Rumble, they should have been showing this shit off on Television since December.

Foley in the back with Ryder and Eve. Foley gives advice on Kane before walking off. Eve tries to talk Ryder out of this shit. Cena then walks in to a mixed bag. Ryder tells Cena to stay out of it…

Zack Ryder vs. Kane – falls count anywhere match

-Ryder is out with tape on his ribs.

-Ryder starts off strong but Kane throws him off and kicks Ryder in the ribs.

-Ryder is then kicked off the ring apron and hits head first on the announce table.

-Kane beats on Ryder at ringside then sends him back first into the corner post.

-the beating continues as Eve comes out to ringside.

-Kane takes Ryder’s back to the announce table before we take a break.

-back from the break and the ass whoopin’ continues.

-Kane does that face chokey thing to Ryder before throwing him over the barricade and into the crowd.

-Ryder tries for a small comeback but all for not.

-this is going long…

-this then heads up to the stage area over by the big ol’ WWE symbol.

-Ryder kicks out of a pin attempt which gets a Ryder chant finally.

-Ryder tries again to fight back but is taken down quickly and choke slammed through the stage!

-Kane then turns to Eve and chases her back to the ring.

-Cena then finally shows up on the stage when Kane heads out through the crowd.

-Cena looks in shock over the hole that Ryder is in, such a bad actor. haha

-Eve gives us crocodile tears. Haha

-Ryder is getting the long EMT spot before we go to another break.

Winner: no contest

Back from the break Ryder is still getting carted out of the hole. He gets cheered on the way out. Ryder has been taken some ass kicking. Ha. Another long segment follows Ryder all the way to the back and into the ambulance. Eve blames Cena for this shit and climbs into the ambulance with Ryder. Cena looks sad when Josh comes up and asks him about this. Cena looks mad faced before he turns and knocks the mic out of his hand. Cena then looks into the camera trying his hardest to look crazed.

Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus

-solid reaction for Sheamus.

-Sheamus beats on Mahal while Barrett comes out for commentary.

-eventually the distraction works in Mahal’s favor to take the advantage.

-Sheamus recovers teases the celtic cross when Mahal fights out.

-Mahal then takes the brog kick for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

Sheamus is over and I’m going with him to get the most eliminations at this Rumble. Sheamus and Wade have words before Barrett backs off. Sheamus tells Barrett to take note as he will win the Rumble on Sunday.

Miz in the back when Josh asks him about his match tonight. He shits on Big Show and Morrison, how he will headline WrestleMania again by winning the Rumble. Truth interrupts in “disguise”… he tells Miz he is #1 in being shitty in the ratings. They argue before Laurinaitis comes in all mad that he cant focus on his match later tonight. He says that the loser of the Miz/Truth match will be the #1 entrant into the Rumble.

William Regal is now at ringside. Cole brings up Regal dancing against Brodus on Friday before he got splashed by Clay.

Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater

-Clay comes out doing the t-rex.

-Slater is laughing at Clay before catching a shoulder block.

-Slater gets a dropkick on Clay before he catches a running head butt.

-move set of funk for the pin.

Winner: Clay

I’m going with Clay getting a surprise elimination on a high mid card guy at the Rumble.

The Miz vs. Truth – Loser starts the Royal Rumble at #1

-Miz the first to head to the outside before he’s clotheslined by Truth.

-Miz recovers in the ring with a series of stomps.

-slingshot suplex onto the ropes then sends Truth to the outside.

-back from the break we have a abdominal stretch broken by Truth

-close pin attempt by Truth with an inverted victory roll.

-Truth then gets a back slide before getting hit with the backbreaker/neck break combo by Miz.

-Truth avoids SCF and Miz blocks the mic check before Miz hits his short DDT.

-Truth finally hits the mic check out of nowhere and pins Miz.

Winner: Truth

Loser starting at #1 on Sunday: Miz

Lawler declares Ryder having a… broken back… how long are they keeping this kid off TV?

Laurinaitis in the back wearing a boxing style robe. Otunga brings Laurinaitis a fax, he looks grumpy face over it.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. John Laurinaitis

- Laurinaitis is intro’d a couple of times before he comes out with Ortunga.

-Cole puts Laurinaitis being a champion in New Japan.

- Laurinaitis says he has unfortunate news from a fax he got. Otunga reads that the board is concerned about Laurinaitis saying he is going to screw Punk. They aren’t happy and Laurinaitis gets a job review next week for his GM job. HHH is conducting this review.

-Punk says Laurinaitis cant screw him or he is out of a job.

- Laurinaitis takes this fax as a wakeup call and apologizes to Punk and the crowd.

- Laurinaitis puts Foley in the Rumble as a nice thing and claims he was going to call Punk vs. Ziggler down the middle all along he just got hot.

-this is a talking match…

-Punk fumbles his words calling Vince grandpa. Saying Punk is going to be fired.

- Laurinaitis claims the match isn’t happening and he has a substitute with Ortunga

-Otunga jumps Punk and beats on his in the corner.

-Punk comes back with a spear and locks the Anaconda Vice on Ortunga while Laurinaitis watches on.

- Laurinaitis and Punk are face to face and the crowd is eating this up.

- Laurinaitis puts out his hand to shake.

-CM Punk chant.

-GTS to Laurinaitis!!!!

-Ziggler out of nowhere with the zig zag!

-Ziggler then stands over Punk while Laurinaitis sells the GTS.

Winner: no contest

Decent show and push towards the Rumble. Although it felt they could have done more to push the ppv I’m not sure what that could have been.

Smackdown heats up in the desert and gets us ready for the Royal Rumble.

Las Vegas, NV

They start with a video highlighting AJ-Gate.

Daniel Bryan comes out to tons of boos. He says Big Show committed a sin by knocking AJ down. DB accuses Show of doing it on purpose. The crowd eats this up and reacts to everything DB is says. DB goes on to say that AJ’s career might be over because she was with him at ringside. DB reminds the crowd that AJ confessed her love for him and that he ‘admires’ her. He says that he’s going to unleash his fury on the Big Show if he doesn’t quit.

~ Another week and Daniel Bryan cuts the best promo of his career. Excellent stuff.

They cut Santino, Alicia Foxx and others playing poker. Teddy Long explains the roulette wheel to Aksana. Cody interrupts and says he’s the last hope for the Rhodes family. Cody spins the wheel and he gets a player’s choice. Cody picks Hornswoggle.

Cody Rhodes and Hornswoggle ‘wrestle’ to a no-contest

• Cody starts beating Horny down but then Justin Gabriel comes down and challenges him.
• Cody Rhodes pins Justin Gabriel via Cross Rhodes

~ Really solid but short match. Justin Gabriel got a lot more offense in than most of Cody’s opponents have lately. There were some nice counters by Gabriel at the end, including a slick backslide pin attempt.

Mark Henry is with Teddy Long in the back. Henry says that Teddy is putting Daniel Bryan in harm’s way. Henry tells Teddy to spin the will since it’s his idea. Henry gets a Lumberjack match and that Daniel Bryan is going into the Hall of Pain.

They replay Epico & Primo’s House show Tag Title win in Oakland.

Tornado Match

Epico & Primo defeat the Usos via Primo’s Backstabber on Jimmy Uso

~ Eh. I liked this match a lot until the ending. Unless a tag team is made of two megastars (e.g. Rock n’ Sock Connection) I prefer seeing a tag match ending with a double team attack. I really liked a lot of the Uso’s offense. Their double hip attack/butt bump looked pretty cool as well as a few other moves. I think the Usos are the best tag team in the WWE right now as far as chemistry goes. I realize the WWE is pushing Prim-ico to the moon right now but I think the Usos have been allowed to show more in the ring.

They cut to Aksana spinning the wheel for Sheamus. Sheamus lands a tables match versus Wade Barrett. They somehow fit in “what happens in Vegas…” in the segment.

Dance Off

Funkasaurus Brodus Clay defeats Vicky Guerrero and William Regal

• Vicky says she knows how to shake “her thang.” Vicky breaks out her inner-Elaine sexy robot dance. Brodus lets his dancers do some shaking and then reels himself into the middle of the ring and does his thing. He ends his dance in a b-boy stance. Haha!

• William Regal runs down to console Vicky and chastises the crowd. Before Regal can leave, Brodus calls him a chicken and challenges him to another dance off. Regal obliges and tells the soundman to hit his music. Regal does some weird old man shit and then Brodus blasts him with his flying body press. “My bad,” says Brodus and he then celebrates with his dancers. Wow.

~ I’m a mark for Brodus Clay but I’m a bigger mark for William Regal. I liked this segment but I didn’t love it. I still want to see Regal vs. Bryan in the WWE sooner than later.

That being said I didn’t think I’d ever see someone do the Elaine Dance on WWE programming. #Randomassshit

Wade Barrett defeats Sheamus in a Table Match (Jinder Mahal distracts Sheamus prior to Wade throwing him through a table)

• After the match Jinder jumps Sheamus but is Brogue Kicked instead (a little botched in my opinion). Sheamus then rewards him with a shoulder tackle through a table.

~ This is probably the best Wade Barrett match I’ve seen in months. The near table crashes were well timed and executed.

It’s amazing to me how much they’re protecting Sheamus. I can’t remember the last time he was submitted or pinned clean.

Ted DiBiase defeats Hunico in a flag match (DiBiase was able to grab the US Flag)

~ Interesting match. Both would hit each other with a big move and then slowly climb up the flag poles only to be knocked down by each other. I hope they do more with both wrestlers.

They show Daniel Bryan speaking with Kaitlyn. They looked concerned for AJ.

Drew McIntyre is in the back with Teddy Long. Teddy fires Drew but Santino pleads with Teddy to give Drew another chance since his last win over Drew was considered a fluke. Drew is stoked about the opportunity. Drew spins the wheel and it lands on a blindfold match. I start thinking about Jake the Snake.

Santino defeats Drew McIntyre in a Blindfold Match

~ This was actually pretty funny. I think Santino is in Colt Cabana’s ballpark when it comes to pro wrestling comedy matches. I have to give kudos to Drew for holding up his end of the comedy. Entertaining match.

Lumberjack Match

Mark Henry and Daniel Bryan wrestle to a no contest after the “lumberjacks” attack both men

• After all hell broke loose, Daniel leaves the ring. Teddy intercepts him in the back and tells him that Bryan is going to defend his World Title at the Royal Rumble in a Triple Threat match against Big Show and Mark Henry.

~ Very fun match. It was neat to see how the lumberjacks reacted to both competitors. Daniel took some deadly bumps and kept on ticking. Henry was Henry and it’s good to see him a lot healthier this week. He was a beast in this match and I loved the Hulk spot where he pushes away a crowd of wrestlers off of him.

Great UWF style ending with a gang of wrestlers fighting it out in the ring. As usual, Smackdown was entertaining and made sense. I’m not sure what they’re doing with Aksana, Hunico or Drew McIntyre but that’s just nitpicking. All the major storylines are moving forward nicely. I’m pretty psyched for the Rumble, are you?

*Photo courtesy of wwe.com

Hana over there at Supahcute said it best:

Copyright infringement is wrong — but so are overreaching laws that don’t give a damn about due process. Under SOPA, IP rights holders can proceed vigilante-style against allegedly offending sites, without any court hearing or any judicial intervention or oversight whatsoever. A “good faith belief” that an identified Internet site is “primarily designed or operated for the purpose of” infringement would be enough to initiate the process of blocking access to that particular site. Are we really going to let government block websites based on a “good faith belief”?

If you would like your internet to stay the same like I do, Contact Congress now!

#SOPABlackout

RAW is in our backyard but we skipped going to the show to bring you this post… ok, actually we’re saving our cash for WrestleMania this year but it sounded good.

Of course being MLK Day we get the video they run every year to open RAW featuring Martin Luther King Jr. They only time the WWE isn’t racist. Fuckers.

MICK FOLEY is out to start the show. Lets hope this is a better outing for Foley since his return to the WWE. We get a small Foley chant although a small one. He shills Disneyland (YAY!) and Anaheim. He brings up the shit he’s done since coming back. He explains he didn’t mind doing those things after what he’s done in the WWE like headline WrestleMania in Anaheim. He said he wants his kids to see daddy in the ring one more time and wants into the Royal Rumble! Nice! Vicki and Dolph interrupt with the crowd shitting on Vicki. She intros the next WWE Champion in Ziggler. Ziggler shits on Foley for wanting to take a precious spot in the Rumble just so he can show off to his kids. Dolph makes fun Foley’s chance to win the Rumble. Shit was funny actually. Foley gets serious on wanting to WIN the Rumble not just be in it. Ziggler brings up being in the WWE year round and his current track record before going back to Foley’s chances and how it would suck if he had to defend the WWE Title at Mania against him. Dolph is cutting the promo of his career thus far. Ziggler tells Foley to go away before WWE Champion CM Punk comes out. Punk gets a chant… small. Come on Anaheim. Punk says he and Foley are unconventional not like Ziggler and they don’t hide behind a woman. How he and Foley earned their spots and how Ziggler’s got Laurinaitis in his corner at the ppv. Punk says it would be damn cool to take on Foley at Mania. They argue some more before Laurinaitis comes out and reminds us who he is. Also he claims to be unbiased at the Rumble and will consider Foley’s request then tells him no. Well shit.  Vicki laughs in Foley’s face for an odd long time before it cuts to the former tag team champions Air Boom.

WWE Tag Team Champions Epico & Primo w/Rosa vs. Air Boom

-none of the teams get a proper into after the break.

-they show the house show footage of the title switch.

-“you missed out Ryan” is the sign of the night.

-champions take the advantage quick on Bourne off the bat.

-nice hurricaneranna by Bourne for the hot tag.

-near fall similar to last night attempt into the trouble in paradise

-Evan goes for to the top but is distracted watching what was going on with Kofi.

-Evan takes the ropes to the chest then the back stabber for the pin and the win.

Winner: Epico & Primo

Johnny Ace is in the back when Otunga walks in, he opens the door and its Jericho who’s in a match tonight. Jericho doesn’t say anything just turns off the lights and stands in the dark with his light up jacket. Haha.

Smackdown’s from Vegas this Friday.

I still call this arena The Pond. Fuck Honda Center.

Ryder is in the back with Eve with his ribs taped up. Striker asks if he’s ready for this tonight. Ryder says he’s going to the ring no matter what. Eve is going with it… oh man this doesn’t sound good for Ryder…

Video package on Kane and what has gone on with Ryder’s involvement in this.

Jack Swagger w/Vicki vs. Unites States Champion Zack Ryder w/Eve

-Cole shows the footage of last week with the controversial pin.

-right off the bat Swagger attacks Ryder’s taped up ribs.

-Lets go Ryder chant, biggest chant by this crowd.

-back breaker into a Swagger bomb for a 2 count.

-gut wrench powerbomb by Swagger but Zack kicks out.

-another got wrench powerbomb…1..2…kickout!

-multiple elbows to Ryder’s back.

-another gut wrench! 1…2…THREE!

Winner: Jack Swagger is the new US Champion!

Interesting… I wonder what the WWE is up to with this? Is the Ryder experiment over?

WrestleMania commercial featuring Rock vs. Cena.

Recap of Swagger winning the title after three cut wrench suplexes.

Ryder is being looked at when Laurnaitis comes in and says “my bad” when he admits that he JUST read the letter from Ryder’s doctor saying he couldn’t compete.

Perez Hilton gets the biggest boos of the night. He is guest ring announcing for the Diva’s.

Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox  vs. The Bella’s

-oh man so um Twin magic which sets off Hilton who keeps yelling “you’re cheating, you’re cheating”. This sets up for the roll up win for Kelly & Fox.

Winner: Kelly & Fox

This shit gets WORSE! The Bella’s come into the ring and talk shit to Hilton before one of the Bella’s lightly pushes Hilton and he takes the worse slow mo, delayed, overacted back bump in the history of back bumps! Christ where is that rock keep to hide under?

Cole and Lawler recap what happened to AJ on Smackdown. Show just runs this bitch over! FUCK! LOL!

’92 Royal Rumble recap. This was my personal favorite only because Flair won the WWE Title that night. Interesting footage to show seeing as he is STILL TNA…

R-Truth is out but before he can say anything Wade Barrett comes out. He says he’s winning the Rumble. Barrett mentions Truth being in the Rumble as well. Truth goes into his Ultimate Warrior style promo about Disneyland  and shows a picture of him with Mickey and Minnie, Donald Duck and Pinocchio… Truth says was told by Pinocchio that Wade was winning the Rumble when all of a sudden Pinocchio’s nose grows! Truth then says “I don’t even know if that’s PG!” LOL! Oh shit, not gonna lie that shit made me laugh out loud! Truth says he can believe a talking mouse of an elephant that can fly over Barrett winning the Royal Rumble. HA! Before Truth can finish the Miz comes out and beats on Truth. Barrett joins in before Sheamus make the safe. Sheamus and Truth stand strong before Teddy Long comes out. He says Johnny Ace is busy so he’s making an over the top rope challenge for tonight between these four.

Over the top rope challenge

Miz vs. Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus vs. Truth

-all four pair up in the ring with the person they are currently bickering with.

-Barrett gets thrown out when he gets triple teamed.

-Truth tries to throw Sheamus out but he fights out.

-Truth takes down Sheamus before taking down by Miz.

-Truth gets thrown over by Miz but he makes it to the apron.

-Sheamus takes down a charging Miz.

-Sheamus pounds Miz’s chest to the count of ten.

-brog kick is side stepped and Sheamus almost goes over the top.

-Miz and Sheamus teeter until Truth comes out of nowhere and throws both over the top!

Winner: R-Truth

Miz takes a brog kick on the outside to finish the segment.

Laurinaitis in the back texting when Cena comes in yelling at what happened to Ryder tonight. Ace makes a match against Swagger and Cena… next!? Odd.

United States Champion Jack Swagger vs. John Cena

-no Vicki?

-Cena has his serious face on tonight.

-Cena jumps Swagger before the bell and beats his ass.

-Swagger is taken into the ring post then the announce table.

-the chants finally get loud for the battling chant.

-Swagger’s ass getting beat around ringside when Cena whips him into the steel steps.

-Now Swagger continually takes the steel steps to the head.

-Cena then picks up the steel steps and is going to crush Swagger before Kane’s music hits.

-Cena stops and goes to the ring only to get Kane on video. Kane says Cena is finally getting it.

Winner: no contest

Cena then realizes the errors of his ways just now before we go to break. Shame on you sir!

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

-Clay gets intro’d by his dance crew ladies.

-someone call my momma!

-Clay’s doing raptor arms! What the fuck!? haha

-dude at ringside tries to start a JTG chant…

-Clay is doing Dusty straight on.

-running headbutt by Clay.

-t bone suplex by Clay.

-splash in the corner into the high cross body for the pin. Aka “ah funk it”…!?

Winner: Brodus Clay

Clay and his ladies dance after the match… man, maybe this really is it for Clay. Like this is the shit that is going to get his ass over…

Another recap of last Smackdown’s main event and AJ taking the Big Show bump. Great facial expressions by Bryan. Here is comes, I hope you’re ready WWE cause Bryan on a national level is DANGEROUS son!

World Champion Daniel Bryan is out to the stage. He gets a mixed (by booed) reaction. He talks shits on Big Show and what he did to AJ. He says she will never be the same. He calls Show pathetic for putting her in front of him and the title. How he didn’t apologize and fake cried. Bryan tells Show not to show up to Smackdown anymore or he is going to make him pay. The then says he has a match against Henry on Friday night and he dedicates that match to AJ. He says he appreciates AJ loving him and will show her how much he does in that match. nice shit here!

World Champion Daniel Bryan, Chris Jericho & WWE Champion CM Punk & vs. Mark Henry, David Otunga & Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki

-lights go out for Jericho’s entrance and we get a solid reaction from Anaheim!

-Jericho is slapping hands with the crowd again.

-Jericho is now taking pictures OF the crowd with their own camera’s before we go to break.

-we’re back from break and Jericho is STILL going around the crowd.

-The heels are in the ring already but Punk is the last to be intro’d

-Y2J chant. is it too early for Jericho to be in a match?

-Punk and Ziggler start off to a Punk chant.

-tag to Bryan who fucks up clearing Ziggler, fuck!

-tag to Otunga… he works over the leg.

-Y2J chant.

-Bryan is trending… can’t be good.

-Ziggler back in to work on Bryan’s leg.

-Bryan gets to the ropes after a Ziggler half crab.

-tag to Punk and Otunga.

-you can’t wrestle chant for Otunga.

-Ziggler back in thankfully. He puts the books to Punk.

-Punk goes to make the hot tag but Ziggler keeps him in and tags to Otunga.

-Otunga puts Punk on the top for a super plex attempt that is fought off into a Macho Man elbow.

-crowd is going nuts and Y2J is finally tagged in who then goes into his crowd pumping thing.

-Jericho tags Bryan in then leaves while still “celebrating”.

-commercial break.

-The match is officially a 2 on 3. Well, its still a 2 on 2 with Henry just hanging out

-another hot tag this time into Punk.

-high knee into bulldog by Punk on Ziggler.

-springboard clothesline for a close 2 that Henry breaks up.

-Henry finally gets involved and brawls with Bryan up the ramp.

-Mick Foley’s music then hits! He says he’s in the match!

-Foley chant!

-Punk tries for the tag but gets a leg drop to the back of the head for a 2 count.

-Foley chant is constant.

-Ziggler with a series of neck breaks for another 2 count.

-hot to Foley who unloads on Otunga in the corner!

-running knee by Foley!

-DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT!

-MR. SOCKO!!!! The crowd is bonkers!

-Foley wins!

Winner: Chris Jericho, Mick Foley, Punk & Bryan

Laurnaits is out again and says he never gave Foley permission to be in the match. Ace reverses the decision.

Winner: Henry, Otunga & Ziggler

Punk takes the mic away from Ace. Punk tells Laurinaitis he isn’t going to do shit and tells him to get his balls out of his purse! Punk then shits on Ace’s career and how it must have bugged him when he wasn’t like his brother, Road Warrior Animal. Punk shit’s on Ace saying that he went from sucking to sucking up. Punk says Ace is jealous of what Punk has become cause he couldn’t. Punk goes off on Ace and tells him if he costs him the title he’s going to kick his ass. Punk chant. Punk then makes Ace flinch before he leaves!

Foley is left in the ring with Ace. Laurinaitis introduces himself to us…!? He says he is no pathetic and wont be intimidated. Foley tells Ace to admit that he is going to he is going to screw Punk and gets called a kiss ass. You suck chant. Ace then questions who Foley thinks he is and that he IS going to screw Punk and blows up all over all of us. He still fumbles his words. Laurinitis then winds up and takes the mic to Foley’s head… this was a Perez Hilton looking swing by Ace. Haha

Good lord am I just drunk or was this damn good night of RAW with a little bit here of them pushing the envelope?? Why can’t they do this all the time!?

Primo and Epico defeated Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne to win the WWE Tag Team titles at a house show in Oakland Sunday afternoon.

Epico’s tweet:

We came, we saw, we conquered!! And tonight Primo and Epico are the new WWE Tag Team Champions!!!!!!

Cody channels his inner-Bobby Heenan, someone says “I love you”, and Brodus Clay gets one of the biggest pops of the night. What more can you ask for?

Laredo, TX -

They open with a video package highlighting Daniel Bryan’s World Heavyweight Title reign. It’s more or less asking the viewer how long can Daniel Bryan survive as champion?

Lilian Garcia introduces Daniel Bryan and the crowd gives the shittiest reaction a crowd could give. This shit is pretty upsetting. Bryan grabs a mic. Daniel Bryan talks about his passion for being the champ and how he ‘successfully’ defended his title last week against the Big Show. Brilliant shit here as he subtly says the right shit to make this crowd boo him. He also talks about the negative arguments towards him on internet message boards and says they contain no weight behind them. He then goes on to say that Mark Henry should be suspended for his interference last week.

Mark Henry comes out. Mark Henry says that it was all Bryan’s fault. Henry also says that he’s banned from ringside tonight but he will get a championship rematch next week.

Daniel Bryan’s voice gets a crackly as he claims that the rematch is all right with him.

~ Holy shit I’m so stoked that the Daniel Bryan heel turn we’ve all been waiting for is here. Let’s hope we hear Bryan say his classic “I have till five, ref” line sooner than later. This was probably Daniel Bryan’s best promo outing to date. He looked comfortable out there and he looked very natural when he was going face to face with Mark Henry.

Justin Gabriel pins Heath Slater via 450 splash (after Hornswoggle distracts Slater)

~ Decent and short match. There’s so much improvement between these two since the nexus days. I doubt I’ll ever be a fan of either wrestler but I really think they’re watchable now. It’s a shame their wrestling skill and exposure came at different times in their careers.

They cut to AJ telling Daniel Bryan that she loves him whether he wins or loses. AJ leaves and Bryan just says, “Wow…thanks, AJ.”

Cody Rhodes comes out and shits on the crowd. He says some racist shit against immigrants and goes to announce that he’s been champ for ‘cinco’ months. Cody then says he’s outshined Tito Santana, Pedro Morales, Booker T and Goldust. He then says he’s going to pull an “Ultimate Warrior,” which means he’s going to be the IC champ and the World Heavyweight Champion. He says it all starts in the 2012 Royal Rumble match. He ends his promo with “ARRIBA!”

~ Excellent promo by Cody. It’s been a while since someone went all Bobby Heenan on the crowd. Cody didn’t go too far into David Duke territory but it was derogatory enough for the fans to boo him more than ever. I love this time of year when everybody on the roster starts saying their world title aspirations and hype up the Royal Rumble.

Cody Rhodes pins Ezekial Jackson via Cross Rhodes

~ Good, short match.  Big Zeke got a lot of offense in for the majority of the match but Rhodes was able to take care of business with his two moves of destruction (Beautiful Disaster to the Cross Rhodes).

Santino is in Teddy Long’s office. Santino discusses a bunch of his ideas including a War Games/Cage match concept involving a ‘medium’ cage within a big cage and overturning Jack Tunney’s ruling against bringing reptiles to the ring. Ha!

Otunga comes in and Santino makes a match between himself and Otunga. Drew comes in and Teddy shuts him down and tells him to head out to the ring and get results.

Ted DiBiase pins Drew McIntyre via Dream Street

• Hector & Camacho come out to watch the match.

~ Woah. DiBiase is really opening up his arsenal. He hit a pretty sick suicide dive in the opening moments of the match. Hopefully Drew will be exiled to Superstars for a long time.

Sheamus pins Jinder Mahal with the Brogue Kick

~ Usual and quick Sheamus match. Minimal offense from Jinder before getting dominated by Sheamus. Is Sheamus a favorite to win the Rumble? I’d say so. Sheamus seems to get consistently loud pops for every appearance. It’s always a good sign.

Big Show is in the back speaking with a referee. The ref reminds Show of the rules. Show says that he understands the rules and he just wants him to count to three. AJ comes by and tells Show not to be too rough on Daniel Bryan. Bryan interrupts and accuses Show of trying to take ‘his girl.’ Bryan tells Show to buzz off. After Show leaves, DB tells AJ that he’s her knight in shining armor. DB then asks AJ, “How much do you love me?” AJ pauses and then DB and her walk off.

~ Pretty incredible segment here that leaves you wondering what’s going on in Bryan’s head. He’s able to come off very sweet, dickish, protective, arrogant and conniving in such a short segment. I think it’s genius.

David Otunga pins Santino via Kryptonite Krunch

~ Surprisingly good match with Otunga showing some new attacks in his offense. I’m really glad they put over Otunga here. He’s really come along as an important member of the roster and I think it’s fitting that he’s able to win matches as well as being a strong heel on the mic.

Brodus Clay pins Tyson Kidd via flying giant cross body

~ Wow. I know Smackdown is taped and all but I think the tremendous crowd reaction was hardly tweaked. Damn it. Tyson Kidd was pinned in less than 30 seconds. I like Brodus Clay and all but I hate seeing people pushed at the expense of the incredible talents like Tyson Kidd. At least show us a little more of Clay’s offense. This leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Another Aksana and Teddy Long segment. They hype up the Vegas Smackdown and Aksana says that she wants to hit up the Roulette table because she likes to hit on black. Long spits out his coffee. Heh. Stupid.

Tamina pins Natalya via Superfly Splash

~ Awww man! Really? Why you gotta do Natalya like that, WWE? I’m all for a second generation wrestler like Tamina getting a push but not like this. I’m positive that Natalya and Tamina can give us a great five to ten minute match. To see Natalya get beat in two moves is disheartening and totally unnecessary. To build up Tamina and Superfly’s legacy at the expense of Natalya and the Anvil’s legacy is really shortsighted.

Wade Barrett comes out and says he’s going to win the 2012 Rumble. He also challenges Sheamus to a match on next week’s Sin City Smackdown.

~ I’m so glad this was shorter than usual. Whew!

Daniel Bryan w/ AJ Big Show wrestle to a non-contest when Big Show accidentally runs over AJ at ringside

• Daniel Bryan emotionally lays into Big Show as they stretcher AJ to the back. He calls show reckless and says that he injured a 95 pound person.

~ Sick match despite the non-finish! Seeing Daniel Bryan get his jedi on with a steel chair was a sight to see. He swung for the fences and it got the crowd solidly behind Big Show. I’ve never heard such a loud “Big Show” chant. The giant spear that Show gives Daniel Bryan in mid-air was pretty brutal as well as the big chest chop to Daniel Bryan as he jumped off the ring apron. Ouch.

The show ended with Big Show crying and I have to hand it to the Smackdown writing team. This was pretty good drama that came at the price of a non-finish to a very entertaining match. I’m looking forward to next week’s episode regardless of whether a funkasaurus shows up.

*photo courtesy of wwe.com

Brodus Clay debuts again but flips the script, Jericho pulls another silent treatment and we get TWO Hall of Fame announcements!

Ok so my TIVO is an asshole and for some reason didn’t record the first 24 minutes of the show, so I looked it up right quick… Kane opened the show did some yapping that involved Zack Ryder and Cena. Also, Sheamus & Santino beat Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal.

We’re back from break and we get a Hall of Fame fact on Andre the Giant. Our first inductee for 2012 is… Edge! This is cool but lets be honest, it’s a little too soon for him yeah?? I mean I get he’s never going to be able to wrestle again but damn. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan but he JUST retired shortly after last years Mania. Solid video package. We get another inductee tonight.

Miz in the back talking to Mason Ryan, Lawler says he’s trying to find a body guard. Ryan just walks away.

Ryder in the back freaking out about Kane to his dad on the phone when Eve walks in and he puts on his big boy pants. Ryder then asks Eve out right now and she reluctantly agrees but after her match with Beth for a chance to wrestle her for the title. Ryder and Eve leave to reveal Kane was stalking him.

WWE Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston vs. World Champion Daniel Bryan

-Kofi out on his own, what did Bourne do now?!?

-apparently this is Champion vs. Champion that developed on… the website… fuck, come on.

-recap of Smacky is shown and yes the heel turn for Bryan has begun.

-Bryan offers his hand before the match, Kofi shakes it. no issue here.

-springboard by Kofi from the ropes for a 2 count.

-Kofi goes for TIP but Bryan kicks out.

-fast paced so far.

-Kofi tries for a crossbody from the ropes but Bryan locks in the La Bell and Kofi taps.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Bryan celebrates after the match like he just won the title. The Big Show’s music hits and he comes out to stop this one man party.

Bryan and Show both head back to the ring and Bryan cuts off Show saying he hated how the match ended last week. He says he is a fighting champion and will give Show a rematch whenever he wants. Show says Teddy Long agrees and the match is this Friday, no DQ no countout. Show extends his hand and Bryan shakes it. Bryan finally has more life to his WWE character, this could be the best thing that happened to him.

Jericho is joining us tonight… we shall see how this goes.

Hey look, Brodus Clay may be actually debuting tonight!

Highlights of the ’94 Royal Rumble that saw the Bret Hart/Lex Luger “tie”.

Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins

-Clay is billed from “planet funk” and is called the “funkasaurus”…

-He got dancers… Christ.

-He comes out looking like a fat red b-boy from 1986…

-Well they killed this dude as a giant. What the fuck WWE!?!

-Clay yells out “you didn’t see that comin’”… no shit.

-Dude is doing his best/worst Dusty Rhodes impression.

-is this April Fools?!

-t-bone suplex by Clay.

-splash in the corner into a springboard cross body for the win.

Winner: Brodus Clay

God Dammit…

Ryder in the back getting ready for his date in the bathroom when Ryder gets paranoid.

Primo, Rosa and Epico in the back. Miz is trying to get their help. They bounce and Punk walks by Miz laughing at him.

Jack Swagger w/Vicki & Ziggler vs. WWE Champion CM Punk

-2^nd week in a row with Punk wrestling in the MIDDLE of the show…

-Laurinaitis comes out before the match starts, reminds us he will be the ref for the Rumble match between Punk and Ziggler. He wants to show Punk he is fair, if Punk beats Swagger tonight Vicki and Swagger will be barred at the ppv.

-Laurinaitis also makes Cena vs. Ziggler for tonight.

-chain wrestling to start the match.

-Brodus Clay is tending worldwide… they never specify if its GOOD or BAD…

-Punk goes for the Macho Man elbow but Swagger rolls to the outside.

-high cross body from Punk from the second rope. Looked a little dicey, it could have gone wrong!

-Swagger teases the ankle lock but Punk fights outs.

-Punk sent to the outside and Ziggler is stopped by Laurinaitis before he gets involved.

-Punk recovers and hits the dive to the outside on Swagger.

-Swagger floors Punk with a big boot for a 2 count.

-Punk makes a comeback landing a swing neck breaker into the high knee in the corner.

-Swagger fights out of the bulldog attempt and hits a Swagger bomb in the corner for another 2.

-Punk counters the 2^nd Swagger bomb and Punk goes for the springboard clothesline but Swagger catches him and takes him down for another 2 count.

-Gut wrench is countered as is the GTS.

-belly to belly suplex by Swagger for yet another 2.

-Punk fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the Macho Man elbow for a 2….no….!? the ref called it!? dude that was a 2 count…

Winner: CM Punk

Laurinaitis claps for Punk after the match. The recap shows that it was a close call on the pin attempt but Swagger did in fact kick out in the slow-mo. Well at least the acknowledge it. Cole puts over Laurinaitis not making these kind of mistakes.

They recap a brawl that happened with Kane and Cena on the outside of the arena. Kane disappeared into the shadows… ooo spooky!

Ryder thanks Cena AGAIN for the US Title match AND saving him last week AND earlier. Cena brings up Ryder passing the Miz with Twitter followers. Cena tells Ryder he is going to be fine but Ryder is still paranoid.

The Bella’s argue in the back until Ricardo Rodriguez comes in, they have a message for Del Rio. Miz comes in and tells Rodriguez to go to the ring and call out Truth. Miz threatens him if he doesn’t.

Our next inductee to the Hall of Fame is… The Four Horsemen! Oh fuck! Puma, we might be going to the ceremony son! Anderson, Flair (he’s in already!?), Blanchard, Windham and Dillon! Oh fuck! So uh… how are they going to pull this off without fucking Ric Flair!?!?

Rodriguez is in the ring and tells Truth he’s really bad and his mom is really ugly. He’s talking shit to get Truth to come out which he finally does. Truth doesn’t know why RR would want to pick a fight with him because he is a “good R-Truth”. He says he is going to let RR go because Little Jimmy told him to. He then asks all the Jimmy’s if he should let RR go but they say no. RR panics and calls for Miz. Truth calms him back down and wants him to sing him a song… RR is acting his ass off. RR starts to sing and gets carried away but the crowd eats it up. Funny. Truth wants it “uno again”. RR accidentally makes Truth drop his match so RR takes the mic check. Miz then comes out of nowhere and beats on Truth. Truth fights back and Miz bounces through the crowd.

Justin Roberts intros Chris Jericho as the only man to beat Stone Cold and The Rock on the same night to become the undisputed champion. Jericho comes out and goes into the same shtick as last week leading the crowd in cheering for him. They cheer as he leads him on. Jericho then grabs a mic while they chant Y2J so he keeps egging them on. This crowd wont be easily turned. Jericho then overplays being choked up and looks like he’s… crying. Another Y2J chant. Some boos start to filter in when he puts down the mic in the ring and goes to leave while still playing that he’s choked up. He gives us one more wave before heading to the back. Well at least this one didn’t last as long as last week.

’98 Royal Rumble hightlights of Stone Cold winning are shown.

Eve vs. Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix

-instead of Phoenix we get Kane’s music and ominous red lighting.

-Ryder runs down to the ring and takes Eve by the hand and they run the eff out of dodge.

Winner: no match.

Ryder takes Eve to a car but there is a flat. Ryder goes to change the flat and is rushing this… pace yo self man. Back from the break he’s still working on it…

Next week Ryder defends the US Title against Swagger… uh oh… I smell something bad happening.

Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki vs. John Cena

-fast start but Ziggler slows it down to show off.

-Cena teases the STF quick but Ziggler fights out and hits the leg drop to the back of the head of Cena for a 2 count.

-Ziggler gets the head lock on Cena while doing a hand stand… well at least he’s incorporated it into his matches now… ugh.

-Cena fights out with a belly to back suplex.

-Ziggler quickly recovers with a series of elbow drops.

-now Ziggler is doing situps… pull back a little bit man…

-Cena recovers into the YCSM… no we go to the video of the back with Ryder as Kane shows up to beat on Ryder.

-Ziggler takes this chance to lock in the sleeper hold on Cena in the ring.

-Kane then chokeslams Ryder off a ramp.

-Cena watches in shock.

-Cena fights Ziggler off and runs to the back.

-Cena is now in the back and outside the arena looking for Kane when Kane finds him and beats on him.

-Kane then does his infamous mouth hold move while we see Ryder laid out. Both are completely out while Kane looks on… and we get credits…

Winner: no contest

Well folks… a bit of an odd night. The build to the Royal Rumble was just ok really, nothing that makes me jump out of my seat except for the back in the day video packages. Two good Hall of Fame announcements but it will be interesting to see how they deal with Ric Flair in all of this. Jericho pulls the same shit as last week but at least keeps it tighter. Oh and Brodus Clay… well… um… uh… takes us back to early 90′s WWE.

Big Show and Daniel Bryan wrestle for the World Heavyweight Title as Mark Henry spits nice on the mic. Also, Hunico does the best pin attempt of 2012.

Little Rock, AR

They open with a highlight package of Randy Orton getting injured down the stairs.

Cody Rhodes pins Booker T via Beautiful Disaster Kick

~ Pretty good match with a lot of solid offense from both wrestlers. Cody Rhodes surprised us all with a moonsault off the top turnbuckle on a standing Booker T. Dope! Cody also kicked out of Book’s Scissor Kick finisher. I liked the moment after the match with the crowd showing their appreciation for Booker T and him thanking the crowd.

This should have been built up a lot better. To put this match on first without any pre-match interviews or video packages made this match have less significance. There was that brief encounter on RAW but it’s hard to remember something like that when Chris Jericho returns. I mean Cody Rhodes is beating a legend for crying out loud. I feel this is a major milestone in Cody’s career and it should be treated as such.

Dustin Rhodes is congratulating Cody on beating Booker T in the back. Cody starts talking shit and says that he’s more of a success than Goldust and he’s probably going to surpass their father.

Teddy Long, Zack Ryder, Drew McIntyre and Santino are in Teddy’s office. Santino wants to be Teddy’s assistant. Teddy makes a match between Santino and Drew. If Santino wins, he can be Teddy’s assistant and if Drew wins, Teddy will consider not firing him. Aksana shows up and starts flirting with Teddy.

Daniel Bryan interrupts AJ speaking with Alicia Fox. Fox says that Bryan will probably lose against the Big Show. Bryan wonders why AJ is actually friends with her. Bryan says they can ‘celebrate’ after he beats the Big Show. Bryan kisses her on the forehead then leaves.

Hornswoggle defeats Heath Slater in an over the top rope challenge

After the match Slater jumps ‘Swoggle but Justin Gabriel plays Captain Save-a-Swoggle and hits Slater with a 450.

~ What a joke. Wait. I forgot that the WWE still has to make 9 year olds in the audience happy. I get it now. Gabriel hit a nice STO before the 450. Maybe this is the start of a meaningful push for the South African.

Hunico w/ Camacho pins Ted DiBiase via Shoulder Lock Pin

~ Interesting match with a very cool finish. The odd shoulder lock sub-pin combo was a beauty to look at. A story was told and Hunico and DiBiase delivered it well.

This is another example of the WWE putting forth matches without any buildup. I like both of them and it would have been more interesting with just a little pre-match interview or video package. If we’re not emotionally invested why should we really care about this match? The WWE has abandoned the idea of promoting the quality of their in-ring product a long time ago. They might as well give me a little story to go with their wrestling. If the UFC can produce hype-videos for their early preliminary matches between lesser-known fighters then so can the WWE.

Wade Barrett comes out and brags about what he did to Orton. He says that Orton won’t be able to compete at the Royal Rumble due to a herniated disc. Wade says that Orton is finished and that Wade himself is going to win the Royal Rumble in Orton’s hometown, St. Louis. Sheamus comes out to disagree. Jinder follows and all three wrestlers start brawling. Wade and Jinder gain the upper hand and Jinder gets Sheamus in a Camel Clutch.

They show a Tale of the Tape for Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan. Show has a 12-inch reach advantage and outweighs Bryan by 231 pounds. I wish they would do this more often. At least for every title match.

Santino Marella pins Drew McIntyre via The Cobra

~ Okay match. Drew has shown no signs of improving his connection with the crowd. He never fails to leave me with no reaction towards him whatsoever. I think Santino Marella vs. Colt Cabana would be a dream comedy match. Santino’s comedic timing is so excellent and it shined at the start.

They cut to Drew McIntyre begging Teddy Long for his job. Teddy says that loss is strike two. Drew whines in anguish. Santino comes in and starts blowing his air vuvuzela.

Non-Title Tag Team Championship Match

Epico & Primo w/ Rosa Mendes defeat Air Boom (via pinfall on Bourne after a missed Shooting Star Press)

~ God bless Rosa Mendes. Shuckie Duckie Quack Quack!

Decent match and Epico and Primo are the closest thing to a prototypical tag team that I’ve seen in years. I wouldn’t mind if they were world champions sooner than later. Evan Bourne looked great in his few minutes in the ring. It’s a shame that he supposedly has backstage heat with Triple H and the powers that be. I have a feeling he’ll be F.E.’d if the rumors are true.

Big Show is being interviewed but is interrupted by Daniel Bryan. Bryan says that he wouldn’t have had to work hard for nine years to become World Heavyweight Champion if was born an athletic freak like Big Show was. Show puts tells Bryan to quit being a tough guy and places his hand on his shoulder. Bryan sternly demands Show to take his hand off.

~ Holy shit. This was as good as a segment as it gets. A lot of malice was built without any overtop insults or promos. Less is more, WWE, less is more. This was more of a Scorsese-like moment of tension than the overdone Michael Bay-ish encounters that you see on Raw.

Tamina pin Natalya via Superfly Splash

~ Good but short match. This is a really interesting match since both women are 2nd generation wrestlers. I think with the right kind of build up (there’s that word again) more of the audience would be into this feud. I’m looking forward to a Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix match up.

Mark Henry comes down for commentary.

Mark Henry called Daniel Bryan “a great talent in the midget division.”

Daniel Bryan retains the title against Big Show via Mark Henry’s interference

• After the match, Bryan celebrated like he just beat Ric Flair at Starrcade 87 Chi-Town heat.

~ Loved that Mark Henry dissed TOOL after an ignorant question. Definitely one of the highlights of the night.

Good match, which is what you can expect if Daniel Bryan is involved. The David & Goliath storyline was played out perfectly. Most of Bryan’s offense was high risk and most of his moves were either off the top turnbuckle or the ring apron. Bryan’s flying knee off the apron to Show’s head was sick. Bryan’s transition from the Guillotine to the Lebell Lock was also a thing of beauty. Show’s offense looked just as impressive, especially the spear and the kneeling chop across Bryan’s chest.

I want to see more of Mark Henry announcing. He was still in character and called the match perfectly. He was able to get himself over and was able to do the same for the Big Show and Daniel Bryan.

Daniel Bryan was finally able to get the majority of the crowd to boo him at the end of the episode. Seeing him celebrate like a madman after the DQ finish made the fans turn on him. It will be interesting to see how the Raw audience treats him on Mondays.

This Michael Cole shit has to stop. It’s not good heat at all. Good heat is Laurinaitis, Cena and Vicky Guerrero. This is just straight up, 100 percent X-Pac heat. I now find his commentary distracting. He doesn’t come off like a guy that loves the business like Jim Ross or Josh Mathews do. TOOL sounds like a puppet without any signs of character. I might have to learn Spanish for the Spanish broadcast.

On a positive note, this was an entertaining episode of Smackdown. This is one of the rare cases where I enjoyed the backstage segments more than the wrestling. Fast forward to Cody’s conversation with Dustin and the Daniel Bryan-Big Show segment. I think Hunico’s fascinating roll up is worth a look as well as the main event. Happy New Year, everybody!

*Picture courtesy of wwe.com